You might be in a redneck church if

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…the minister wears a CAT baseball cap during the sermon.

…the outhouse is the only restroom.

…the announcer reminds the congregation to turn off all cell phones and no spitting
tobacco on the floor.

…every vehicle in the parking lot is a pick up truck.

…the congregation is asked to pray for a good hunting season.

…for the church raffle: 1st prize is a used pick up truck. 3rd prize is a brand new
Toyota Prius.

…the sermon is about why it’s unfair that Elmer Fudd was portrayed as a dunce.
 
SurlyMermaid said:
Love this thread!

As someone who was baptized in a creek, keep ‘em comin’!👍
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I was baptized by immersion at a Russian Orthodox church in a horse trough! I wouldn’t fit in the baby sized font in the church.
 
If they hand out snakes at the door.

If for the Eucharist they have white lightnin’ and corn pone.
 
andrewstx said:
I was baptized by immersion at a Russian Orthodox church in a horse trough! I wouldn’t fit in the baby sized font in the church.
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That’s a fascinating story! You cast off the old nag and were born again a Thoroughbred.
 
bben15 said:
That’s how it’s said in my parish. 😃
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Haha! That’s how they said it at one of my old G.O. parishes, even though most of them were Greek! 😛 And, my Dad says it that way too, but he’s from Tennessee, so yeah…😃
 
Priest wears Cowboy boots and has a Texas size belt buckle and uses cattle round-up analogies in his homilies (no lie here, Father P is all priest and all cowboy)
 
chero23 said:
Lol I know some people will disagree with my comment but that’s hilarious.
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Church has different hours during planting and harvesting seasons. And the parking lot has tractors in it more than cars.
 
…at the end of the service, the preacher tells the congregation “Y’ALL COME BACK
NOW YA HEAR”

…the bingo anouncer is also the town’s auctioneer.

…an empty paint can is used as a collection basket.
 
True story, my uncle Edward once remained seated in the pew after service because there was a rattlesnake on the sill of the open window right beside him.
If The Wright family’s cattle were grazing upwind of the church, you could not only hear them, but smell them through the open windows.
A man in patched overalls so faded that they only showed color in comparison to his white shirt was just as welcome in church as anyone else.
 
…if your pastor has a gun rack in the back of his old beaten up Chevy pickup!
 
We went to visit a Sister at the convent on a Sunday. There was no answer. We heard singing from the church and decided to go to Mass. We found

this big sign by the church door in all caps: “No trespassing. Violators will be prosecuted.” I had to confirm the translation for my parents! We did not think it was funny! :rotfl:
 
Luz_Maria said:
We went to visit a Sister at the convent on a Sunday. There was no answer. We heard singing from the church and decided to go to Mass. We found

this big sign by the church door in all caps: “No trespassing. Violators will be prosecuted.” I had to confirm the translation for my parents! We did not think it was funny! :rotfl:
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Reminds me of the “Trespassers will be shot on sight. Survivors will be shot again.” 😛

Does seem rather harsh for a church. Isn’t the whole idea that people can wander in for quiet prayer when they wish?
 
Luz_Maria said:
We went to visit a Sister at the convent on a Sunday. There was no answer. We heard singing from the church and decided to go to Mass. We found

this big sign by the church door in all caps: “No trespassing. Violators will be prosecuted.” I had to confirm the translation for my parents! We did not think it was funny! :rotfl:
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:rotfl: I know it’s probably not that funny, but it kinda makes you wonder what they’re doing if they thought that sign was necessary. 😛
 
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