I don’t believe he was trying to gaslight you.
I use LGBTQIA and ‘they’ often when talking about the issue, but when I do use those terms, I am referring to the activists by what I say next, I am not referring to people like yourself. There is just… not much other words we can use because ‘they’ have framed the issue in such a way to deceive people into error. If they can entangle a truth and a falsehood, then they get their falsehood on the back of the truth, which is a deception. Kind of like in Australia the ‘Safe Schools’ program, which pretends to be about safety of LGBT persons at school, but is actually a radical gender theory program targeted on kids (Teaching things like “Nobody can tell you if your a boy or a girl” etc), and when one speaks out against it, well how horrible must they be for opposing a safe school? do they want LGBT to be bullied or something?
I also try to always say ‘Sexual acts of homosexuality’ rather than just ‘homosexuality’ to try and make my point more clear and exclude people like yourself from what I say next.
When Hoosier Daddy said ‘LGBT Person’ He wasn’t referring to yourself or people like yourself because of the dialogue that followed.
It’s hard because I am not exactly sure how to entirely frame the issue to ensure people like yourself wont take it the wrong way, what do we call ‘they’ and ‘them’ other than ‘LGBT Activist?’ and that too can be taken the wrong way and twisted by ‘them’, what word would you prefer we use regarding those who are activists regarding the sexual acts of homosexuality, same sex marriage etc and not just same sex attracted people?
Josh
Warning Long ramble
I’d honestly recommend reading some of the stuff at
spirtualfriendship.org (a blog by LGBT/ssa Christians who adhere to a traditional sexual ethic-some celibate and some within a marriage to an opposite sex spouse). A good book to read would be ‘Washed and Waiting’ by Wesley Hill.
A good way for you to distinguish people might be SSM affirming LGBT/ssa vs chaste/celibate LGBT/ssa. Language is important and people have done a terrible job at expressing that there is place for LGBT/ssa within the Church and that they are actually wanted. Most of the discussion revolves around why marriage is the way it is or a rather worthless semantical debate over a three letter word (gay) vs a three letter acronym (SSA). For me, I tend to use both interchangably as they mean the same to me and by using gay I’m not implying it is central to my identify. Rather it is just simply a description of the cross I carry. It does get rather frustrating where it feels like I have to justify talkign about my cross or struggles where there is this often not so subtle feeling that many within the Church would want nothing more for me to go into the back of the church, shut up, and never talk about my struggles so they could basically go back to pretending that I don’t really exist other than a theological discussion about a ‘theoretical gay/ssa Catholic.’
I am also rather frustrated lack of discussion is out there. I sadly still often here that I’m a worse Christian because I have this cross, that if I had actual faith I wouldn’t have these particular temptations,that I must have been abused or had a bad father experience, apparently experimented as a child or was bad a sports, that gay people are threats to children, to hear society ills blamed on ‘the gays’ (like how an Italy priest blamed for an earthquake), to feel like I’m pushed to the THEM in the US vs THEM, that somehow talking about anything even remotely related to my sexuality is shoving it in people’s faces, and finally that if there is any discrimination, then it’s basically my fault for not staying closeted enough. I get frustrated that some have this culture war mentality so that it’s basically by any means necessary. So if that means sacrificing any compassion in order to appear completely orthodox then I guess it doesn’t matter a few LGBT/ssa people lose hope and ultimately leave the faith. Because without support and hope, the victories one has with their cross begin to feel hollow and the failures feel inevitable leading to more disheartening feelings and often sadly a complete loss of faith. Sadly, the attitude seems to be rather than pull people like that up, it’s ‘don’t let the door hit you on the way out.’
I understand that many are fatigued when dealing with this issue, but I don’t have the luxury of just not dealing with it. I have to monitor my speech, language, work on my poker face so my family doesn’t know less I want to risk disownment, I have to deflect dating questions effectively so a few members of my parish don’t suspect my sexuality and show hostility (since they have said negative things), and I wonder what my school fellowship group would say if they found out. I hate feeling like I’m treated like this wedge issue where I have to walk on eggshells while basically dealing with my problems on my own. I hate that I basically have to whitewash and omit things from my own testimonial less I offend someone for saying I am gay/ssa celibate (striving for chastity) Catholic.
I get frustrated that culture and even Christian culture treats marriage as a check box in life and that I’m viewed by some as ‘spiritually immature’ because I’m unmarried without children. I am frustrated at the lack of compassion by many (and seemingly some here) about the pain and grief that people like me have gone through over the realization that marriage isn’t in m vocation. I’m equally frustrated with the lack of support as I go through the struggles of lacking connection and non-sexual physical intimacy because society at large (and to some extent Christian culture) has equated love with romantic love and sex so much that I can’t even have a close hug with a friend without worrying it will scandalize someone.
