I agree with you, in a way. I think the contention is between the sacrament in Catholic and non-Catholic religions we all call “marriage” and the governmental benefits and recognition given out that they call “marriage”. I think it is high time we defined “marriage” not as a union between a man and a woman, but as a union between a man, a woman, and God. In other words, “marriage” should stop being a secular term IMHO. It was not one to being with.
Now as for the benefit of seeing your loved one in the hospital or to enact his/her final will and testament or any of that jazz, no Scripture verse or section of the Catechism says marriage entails all of those benefits the State grants us. Marriage, among the religious, is for the sake of bonding forever in love, and procreation, and raising of one’s posterity to know God and do all things good for Him.
I think “civil union” is an appropriate term for all legal unions that have the benefits all couples want, gay or straight. I don’t support homosexual adoption, and I wonder if perhaps the State should keep its grubby hands out of that affair as much as it should sacramental marriage.
But other benefits that the State currently grants to heterosexual couples - mainly the ones dealing with health, death, and insurance. These I think can be granted by the state - to married couples, to gay couples, to friends, to siblings…
But marriage? The state, as a secular body, has no sacred ability to bond man and woman together. State marriage licenses should be abolished, or renamed and possibly amended to remove some “benefits”. The state should keep its greasy fingers out of the issue of adoption. (And health insurance and other things, as well - not that that has anything to do with the topic at hand.)
Let adoption be a private matter. Let marriage be a sacred matter. Let the state grant some legal benefits that do not entail procreation, nor possibly subsidy (as current marriage does). And let them call it ANYTHING but marriage.