14 Year Old Son’s Girlfriend Stay Over?

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I don’t know where you live, but in the USA, most kids by 14 are going to be doing some dating whether their parents are “allowing” it or not. Almost everyone Catholic I ever knew began dating around age 13-14 although sometimes there were restrictions such as not being allowed to “car date” or having to be in by a certain time. The “dates” were usually something like going for a hamburger or going to someplace, like the pool, where all the kids were going as a group anyway.

The person is obviously an involved and concerned parent or they wouldn’t be posting the question. I can see some concern about “making out”, but heck, my own parents were older than average and pretty conservative and I had my first boyfriend at age 14…it’s normal.
NOT TRUE. My kids were not allowed to date until 16. No exceptions. And we were not the only ones. They could attend school dances and meet a boy there but not group or single dates. AT ALL. Fast forward to college and both girls entered into long term relationship and married in the church after college graduation. Neither one lived with the boys. EVER. A few times the boy came to our house to meet the family and spent the night, in college. Separate floors. (They lived in separate states).

Same for my son, except he is still in college. and another daughter in college. The last daughter is 14 and I would NEVER allow her to stay overnight at a boys house or drive her to see the “boyfriend”. It really cuts down on the drama and lets the kids mature before being put into adult situations…like “making-out”. In my opinion, if he says he “makes out” he is doing much more.
 
NOT TRUE. My kids were not allowed to date until 16. No exceptions. And we were not the only ones.
With all due respect, I did say “most kids” and you are unusual.

I also have to say that this entire thread is giving me a whole new respect for my good, reasonable, responsible parents, who at the time I thought were the biggest disciplinarians in the world. A lot of the views expressed on this thread sound to me more like weird Christian fundamentalists to me than normal healthy Catholics. I’m glad I had a nice normal upbringing. Wish Mom was still alive, I’d thank her.

I’m out.
 
You do realize that she was talking about a general trend, so you can’t really say “not true” based on your individual kids, right?
 
In my Catholic school experience, whenever a girl got pregnant, she typically came from an unusually strict household.
 
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In my Catholic school experience, whenever a girl got pregnant, she typically came from an unusually strict household.
I do not consider 16 as a dating age to be “unusually strict” and among my friends, it is normal. My children later have thanked me (and my husband) for establishing rules and guidelines. They have said it avoided alot of problems.
 
You do realize that she was talking about a general trend, so you can’t really say “not true” based on your individual kids, right?
I think some parents have bought into the “trend” in the USA of allowing dating at a younger age, but MANY of us have opted to set guidelines for dating with more appropriate ages for both. And as a teen, I was not allowed to date until 16.

I wish the OP the best of luck raising her children. I know how challenging it can be. Prayers for all involved.
 
Hey Boom. I have no problem with you disagreeing with me or anyone else’s opinions. But calling people arrogant, being sarcastic, totally unnecessary. Hey, we all have a bad day, (why yours fell on a Friday I don’t know.). But stop it and cheer up. We are not your enemy sir
 
Huh? I didn’t think I was being a jerk. I’m sorry if it came off that way. Hard to convey tone online, I guess.

And I didn’t call you arrogant. 🤔
 
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I did not let my kids date until they turned 30. They both thanked me for it later.
 
I wouldn’t do it. I can say even as a devout 20 something I did things outside of sex that my moral compass pleaded with me not to do just because I was kissing my fiance.I surprised myself because I had thought my love for God was deeper. Even if they don’t have sex, they can still subject themselves to sin in other ways. Just don’t do it. Please, don’t let it happen. It’s WAY too tempting for a hormone-ravaged couple to endure successfully.

It’s like going to a candy store overnight during lent when you have given up candy as your penance. And, it’s actually MORE tempting than that because you already know what candy tastes like, unlike the physical side of romance (when you’re 14).

(Disclaimer: I’m very thankful for the sacrament of reconciliation and have since confessed those things.)
 
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I think some parents have bought into the “trend” in the USA of allowing dating at a younger age, but MANY of us have opted to set guidelines for dating with more appropriate ages for both. And as a teen, I was not allowed to date until 16.
I think that there’s actually a lot less high school dating than there used to be and a lot of kids are starting later with dating–in fact a large minority doesn’t date until their 20s.

When I was a kid in the 1980s, kids mostly started paired off in 7th grade, but nowadays we had a HUGE discussion among the parents in my 7th graders’ class about that. A couple of dads were talking in the class email loop about how cute it was that one of the 7th grade boys had asked a 7th grade girl to the homecoming dance, and there was a tsunami of mom disapproval at the idea. Apparently, the social norm at our school is go to dances alone in 7th or 8th grade and then only start doing dates starting in 9th. And it’s actually a lot more like old school 1950s dating, in that kids are asking each other to the dance. (Hence the recent vogue for “promposals.”) When I was in high school, that was completely obsolete, because of course you’d be going with your girlfriend or your boyfriend if you had one. You wouldn’t specially ask somebody just to a dance.
 
I think people are getting too hung up on the “he’s only 14 and has a serious girlfriend” thing. Nothing at 14 is that “serious”. Let’s be real: he’s not going to marry this girl. In all likelihood, they’ll date for a bit, then break up in dramatic high school fashion, he’ll swear he’ll be alone forever, and then a month later he’ll have a new girlfriend.
I’d agree with you, except my uncle and aunt had kids at 16. And one of my aunt’s, her mom had a child at 13. So, since I know from my families experience, I therefore disagree.

Thank you,
 
That’s why I said in all likelihood. Obviously there are exceptions to every rule.
 
The rule that most people don’t marry the person they’re dating as a high school freshman.
 
Right. So they ought to cool their jets and pace themselves.
Eh, I mean, he’s almost fifteen, and assuming they’re not lying, they’re just kissing. It might be a little fast, but it doesn’t sound like it’s careening out of control. Again, assuming he’s telling the truth.
 
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