14 Year Old Son’s Girlfriend Stay Over?

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So, that’s just a contemporary practice. Not a rule. Rule is generally stated. When God says: Thou Shall Not… It’s not based on the practice, custom, and habit of the people. The rule of morality, or the rule of biology. Those are not changeable. They are what they are. The idea that very few people end up marrying the freshman they’re dating back in HS, is not a hard set rule, but a practice. If you go back to the Middle Ages, or early back in time memorial, where girls were married off in their teens. You would observe that was a custom because of longevity being less in life. The only difference between the now and then, is we live longer/healthier lives, in general. So we can wait on marriage, mature a bit long, and make (hopefully) better choices. Especially in marriage. But the biology of the human body child bearing, and hormones do not change. That is the rule that governs, not the custom/habits of people.

Now, I think most people who are saying the woman shouldn’t let her son be dating this girl as it appears kissing/making out (i.e. intimacy) swings quite closely to sex. And, that girl could get pregnant, because of hormones that they are not in the best ability to handle. And that is why it is prudent not to continue with this. Especially when it is the parent going along with it. And, interestingly enough, the people advising the lady to call it off, has nothing to do with marrying the girl. The fact it has a high potentiality to leading to the birth of a child, which both are inadequately for. Thus, nothing to do with marriage, but biology, and the lack of mature development among the two.
 
Are you not a native English speaker? I don’t mean that as an insult, I’m just genuinely curious. The phrase “exception to the rule” is a common one in English, and “rule” in that context means a general trend, not ‘rule’ in the sense of a regulation.
 
BoomBoomMancini said:
Eh, I mean, he’s almost fifteen, and assuming they’re not lying, they’re just kissing. It might be a little fast, but it doesn’t sound like it’s careening out of control. Again, assuming he’s telling the truth.
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Depends what “making out” means and how much alone time they get for this.
 
How silly. I drew on the fact a rule is a rule. Things that govern. I did draw out customs/habits being contemporary rules. But that’s faulty. Because, if you and the lady like contemporary rules, then you prefer faulty decisions based on “trends.” Another word for a trend is a fad. So that’s what you deduce from your logical criteria. Contemporary norms/practices. Which isn’t really prudent.Here’s a parable: One man built his house on sand. one built his house on a rock. Which house withstood against the waters and storms? So,in basic common sense, do you think the biology that governs two teenagers is less of a rule than the custom/practices/norms of society trending in the direction of marriages later than sooner? But again, I’m not sure if it has to do with marriage, since we’re talking about child bearing. And that doesn’t mean they will get married either. So, do customs/habits/contemporary norms defeat the laws of biology/hormones?

Don’t get me wrong, People can apply self control. But for someone in their teens, it’s really unjust in the years when they do not have an HS Diploma yet, haven’t finished school yet. And if they decide to engage someone in a way with intimacy, wherefore a child could come along. at least (the very least) to be able to get a job in order to take care of the child, and the girl they are with. Should we defy prudence of knowing the biology that governs the body with contemporary norms/habits/customs? And just base it on fleeting fads (things subject to change)?
 
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I can’t really answer the question as I would never have let my sons have a ‘girlfriend’ at 14.
 
Do you not understand that the contemporary norms of a population of people (i.e. trends/habits/fads, etc.) fluctuates and changes? And I am sure it has nothing to do with whether I speak English as Primary or Secondary, in language. In fact, you continue to say you don’t mean to “insult.” But you do. FrancisPio said the same thing. And, I referred you putting a comment on another topic as putting it “arrogantly.” So you do.

In general, you build a rationale for anything you judge. Which is fine. We all do that. You have to make a judgement call at some point in your life. And so, with this topic/discussion, you continue to build a rationale on customs/habits/contemporary norms. In other words, a practice. Which changes and fluctuates. As I reiterate, and you cleverly do not even examine yourself, child bearing (i.e. biology plus hormones) weighs heavily into the discussion. As well as being provisioned to being able to take care of a child, and the two people involved to take care of one another.

With that, it’s unjust to expect two people who 1.) cannot leave their parents home and live on their own 2.) cannot get a job (in general a fulltime one), and 3.) haven’t completed their education. So, the judgement is a matter of prudence. Is it wise to place/leave it to teenagers who haven’t completed their education to be involved in a way wherefore could/strong potentiality lead to a child?
 
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Maybe because I’m from a military background, and maybe because I work with students but 7am is not really that early. It means the family would have to leave at 6:15 which is when the school bus comes for the kids who live near me (rural area).

Morally? The sleepover is in poor form but not immoral.
 
If I may beg the question. To you/someone who was in the military. Going back to my thought experiment:

Supposing this person had a daughter of 13, and she was making an arrangement with a guy who is 23. Now, the mom/ad would be upset. For reasons that are quite obvious. Their daughter is too young for him. And, it’s also the fact he must be emotionally immature in development for dating a girl like that. But while a boy around her age may not bother the parents, because of the age gap being less. Would the parents no less, and otherwise, feel the boy is also immature in development as the 23 year old man dating their 13 year old girl?

I don’t think it s fair to the boy, as a parent, where you are still their guardian, to permit them to swing closely to the intimacy/dating wherefore a child could exist, and happen. Again, it’s not about marriage. For, this kid cannot leave his mom/dad’s home, get a fulltime job, and has not completed school. It’s not fair to him, as his guardian, as his parent. Should the girl get pregnant. And the parents get angry over it. The boy will be much more angry with his parents, because of the way they led it on, and allowed him to go along with it

The parent could, should the girl get pregnant:
*Emancipate their son
*Allow the son to get a fulltime job
*Help him to get his HS Diploma or GED
*Babysit

Again, you permit it, that’s swinging close to fire, so-to-speak. And the above are the responsibilities that would hopefully be undertaken should she get pregnant.
 
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Buddy, I’m not trying to insult you, but I can’t dissect your convulted word salad.
 
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BoyGenius said:
If I may beg the question. As someone who was in the military. Going to my thought experiment:

Supposing this person had a daughter of 13, and she was making arrangement with a guy who is 23. Now, the mom/ad would be upset. For reasons that are quite obvious. Their daughter is too young for him. And, it’s also the fact he must be emotionally immature in development for dating a girl like that. But while a boy around her age may not bother the parents, because of the age gap being less. Would the parents no less, and otherwise, feel the boy is also immature in development as the 23 year old man dating their 13 year old girl?

I don’t think it s fair to the boy, as a parent, where you are still their guardian, to permit them to swing closely to the intimacy/dating wherefore a child could exist, and happen. Again, it’s not about marriage. For, this kid cannot leave his mom/dad’s home, get a fulltime job, and has not completed school. It’s not fair to him, as his guardian, as his parent. Should the girl get pregnant. And the parents get angry over it. The boy will be much more angry with his parents, because of the way they led it on, and allowed him to go along with it

The parent could, should the girl get pregnant:
*Emancipate their son
*Allow the son to get a fulltime job
*Help him to get his HS Diploma or GED
*Babysit

Again, you permit it, that’s swinging close to fire, so-to-speak. And the above are the responsibilities that would hopefully be undertaken should she get pregnant.
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Your suppositions is just bizarre.

First, a 23yo with a 13yo is a crime in every state and in most every developed country. The mere suggestion is repulsive, sisgusting and disturbing.

Second, I’m not opposed to teen “dating” another teen of their same age. Puppy love in a supervised environment can be healthy. Typically, it’s not well-supervised teens who play games with their parents who wind up having premarital sex and getting pregnant. It’s teens who are NOT supervised and especially those college students who were never allowed to do anything.

Parent supervised teen dating is probably one of the “safest” way to do things.
 
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I don’t know what the Catholic answer is.

But at some point you need to trust that you’ve raised your kid the best you can, and that he knows what he should do and why. Nobody can shield their child from the world completely and sometimes people need to learn lessons first hand.
 
Do you think it’s prudent, wherefore two teenage minors have the biology/hormones (and knowledge), and child bearing age to be so intimately close (i.e. making out as the OP posted)?

If you permit this girl to come to your home for a “sleep over” (OP’s premise.) The boy and girl, can’t keep away from each other at night (the premise of a common norm). Does that sound prudent to you, to let the girl come over? Regardless of separate rooms.

That’s not convoluted, but a clear concise set of questions.
 
Not really interested in discussing it with you, honestly. You’re kind of weirding me out. Have a good night.
 
BoyGenius said:
Do you think it’s prudent, wherefore two teenage minors have the biology/hormones (and knowledge), and child bearing age to be so intimately close (i.e. making out as the OP posted)?

If you permit this girl to come to your home for a “sleep over” (OP’s premise.) The boy and girl, can’t keep away from each other at night (the premise of a common norm). Does that sound prudent to you, to let the girl come over? Regardless of separate rooms.

That’s not convoluted, but a clear concise set of questions.
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My brothers and I are VERY close in age. We are literally a year apart each. So when my older brother was 16 I was 15 and my other brothers were 14 and 13. There were many times when I had friends they liked sleepover or they had friends that I liked sleepover. We weren’t dating but that didn’t make hormones any less.

You are under the assumption that sex will happen. If kids want to have sex, they don’t need an overnight for it to happen.

To me, this would be a bad idea because it sets up false pretenses about “early” and “hard” and a line of thinking that you do what is easier for convience.
 
Xanthippe_Voorhees said:
The mere suggestion is repulsive, sisgusting and disturbing.
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Correct. That’s called absurdity. Which is what the point was. Do you think I supported the idea? If so, that’s on you. Because, I generalized as no parent would or should (thus I find it repulsive as well.) So, you seem to forget the point of my argument. Or likely intentionally ignore, and try to throw my attention with words like “repulsive.” It’s on you, not me.

In a matter of judgement. With the balance and scales of reason. If someone is not letting their daughter date someone that old, then it should fall on about the same premise (she is too young - i.e. immature.)

Now, to your puppy love assessment. My Grandma (so my premise is from a valid point of experience, through reason), felt the same way. So when my Aunt and Uncle were dating in their teens, they ended up pregnant. So, were they supervised? Yes. How supervised? My Grandma wasn’t awake all hours of all hours of the night and day as neither was my Uncle’s father and mother supervising. Do you think supervising doesn’t fail? It does.

Because, they (teens) do not do everything under the parent’s eye. For if that were true, then teen pregnancy would not happen. And again, supervising isn’t 24/7, and at every circumstance of that child’s life.
 
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BoyGenius said:
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Xanthippe_Voorhees:
The mere suggestion is repulsive, sisgusting and disturbing.
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Correct. That’s called absurdity. Which is what the point was. Do you think I supported the idea? If so, that’s on you. Because, I generalized as no parent would or should (thus I find it repulsive as well.) So, you seem to forget the point of my argument. Or likely intentionally ignore, and try to throw my attention with words like “repulsive.” It’s on you, not me.

In a matter of judgement. With the balance and scales of reason. If someone is not letting their daughter date someone that old, then it should fall on about the same premise (she is too young - i.e. immature.)

Now, to you puppy love assessment. My Grandma (so my premise is from a valid point of experience, through reason), felt the same way. So when my Aunt and Uncle were dating in their teens, they ended up pregnant. So, were they supervised? Yes. How supervised? My Grandma was n’t awake all hours of all hours of the night and day as neither was my Uncle’s father and mother supervising. Do you think supervising doesn’t fail? It does.

Because, they (teens) do not do everything under the parent’s eye. For if that were true, then teen pregnancy would not happen. And again, supervising isn’t 24/7, and at every circumstance of that child’s life.
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Two 15yo’s having sex is WAY different than a 23yo and 13yo. On is a mutual sin, the other is a grave crime called rape.

Your example of your grandmother means nothing. Teens need to foster healthy relationships and understand boundaries.

Supervision and guidance can fail. Teens have wills of their own. What WILL always fail is overly controlling parental behavior. The more controlled teens are the more devistating the eventual bad behavior usually is.
 
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