16 Yr old daughter is sexually active

[OsculeturMeOsculo]

I think you were right in regards to using more caution and discipline.

 

[Tbrightson]

She does make the car payment and most of the insurance…

My knee jerk reaction is to yes,curtail her usage of car, etc…but then I think about her self harming…its like blackmail without saying.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

It’s a difficult one as at her age you only have so much control over her and you don’t have a united front with your wife. Could you persuade your daughter to consider drug counselling? That could be a starting point

 

[Cruciferi]

Well, first there has to be a diagnosis. This situation definitely sounds like a mental health issue. Drug rehabilitation is an option…

 

[Tbrightson]

Certainly …I am thinking “if you want to continue doing x y and Z” you will do it under only under strict supervision including drug testing and counseling.

 

[Cruciferi]

Psychiatrist – A medical doctor with special training in the diagnosis and treatment of mental and emotional illnesses. A psychiatrist can prescribe medication, but they often do not counsel patients.

Child and Adolescent psychiatrists can also precribe medication; however, they may not provide psychotherapy.

 

[SacredHeartBassist]

if i were dad, she’d have no friends and no phone and no social media and no job and no car and would be scheduled for drug tests every week.

unfortunately drug tests won’t detect lsd, so i’d just move her from the school she’s at to limit contact from potential users.

or hell, have her arrested. it’ll scare her enough

 

[ConfusedLucy]

Obviously it’s going to be way easier if you can persuade rather than compel. Beside these serious issues how is your relationship? Is she likely to open up to the two of you?

 

[Irishmom2]

The car is not necessarily the problem. Her friends may be. But the guy she was with is a bad element in her life.

Again, I suggest counseling for you and your wife. Your daughter will know how to get your wife to do what she wants. And your wife need some t know how to say no.

 

[SacredHeartBassist]

i imagine you haven’t been a 16 year old drug user. i have. i’d research exactly what to say to the psychiatrist to get prescribed what i wanted. all it takes is a library card and a dsm v

 

[Tbrightson]

f i were dad, she’d have no friends and no phone and no social media and no job and no car and would be scheduled for drug tests every week.

If it wasnt for what the suicide issue, I would do that.

 

[SacredHeartBassist]

what’s she gonna do with no door to her room either?

 

[Cruciferi]

Your method sounds counter productive at best and like a prison at the worst.

 

[Tbrightson]

Ok how did I capture your message in my reply???

 

[Irishmom2]

My daughter is a psychologist actually. The last thing this girl needs right now is to be medicated. She needs to be able to talk to someone she trusts. Her parents need to find her the right counselor that will enable her to do that.

 

[SacredHeartBassist]

dude, it should be a prison. she’s acting like a criminal. the last thing she needs is enough space to get access to drugs. she has too much freedom as it is. that’s how she got drugs and had sex.

 

[Irishmom2]

the last thing she needs is enough space to get access to drugs. she has too much freedom as it is. that’s how she got drugs and had sex.

I may not agree with you on how to achieve it, but the rest of this is spot on.

 

[SacredHeartBassist]

dad–petition the court to get full custody if mom isn’t doing her job and your daughter tried to kill herself and is abusing drugs.

who cares what mom thinks–your daughter’s life is at stake. good luck.

 

[SacredHeartBassist]

i’m only speaking on what would’ve worked on me when i was doing drugs as a high school student.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

The prison approach could backfire big time. I know US parents tend to be a little more authoritarian but I think this should be a last resort. She needs help but it’s easier to help people that want to be helped.