16 Yr old daughter is sexually active

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Im thinking of “modified prison” if there is such a thing LOL!
 
Once I had a dream and I had to go to jail. But that is probably not relalavent.
 
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OP, how did your daughter get so out of control in the first place?
 
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see, you guys are saying this but i’d rather keep my daughter away from drugs than have her die over them. or get arrested and lose out on having a good career
 
Irishmom2 said:
She needs to be able to talk to someone she trusts. Her parents need to find her the right counselor that will enable her to do that.
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And if she doesn’t want help or is descending into psychosis, what then? When people are belligerent and unreasonable you have few options. Talking can’t hurt but I think this situation has gone beyond that.
 
Also, OP, have you considered boarding school? My mom’s cousin sent her out of control kids to boarding school and the stricter lifestyle straightened them out. Their father died of cancer when they were preteens and they became troubled teenagers who refused to study.
 
no, of course not. but she needs to not have a phone or a car and she should be moved from her school to a different school. i think she should have counseling too. if what it takes to get her on the right path is for dad to drive her to school every day and embarrass her by picking her up promptly at a certain time, that’s what it takes. she doesn’t need internet access or she can access the internet at the library with dad sitting next to her at all times.

she wants to act like a criminal, then she’s going to get treated as one. no doors in her room either. no privacy.

i don’t see how that’s a dungeon. she lost the privileges of having privacy when she bought street drugs. why does she have pocket money?
 
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Well, the OP didn’t describe anything like that actually. Something has to change. What is happening now is not working. Self medicating is the tip off that something is wrong.
 
how did your daughter get so out of control in the first place?
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In my opinion, no discipline. How many times did I want to enforce consequences on bad behavior when my wife would instead say “I will talk to them”…

See folks, she thought I was too harsh…and if I was to stay with them in this house I had to let my ideas on discipline take a back seat.
 
Best wishes to you and your family!

I think seeking professional help is best. There are some great parents on here, but nobody can truly know your situation.

I think you might want to consider talking to your wife and trying to somewhat get on the same page before talking with your daughter. I know that’s difficult, but I fear your daughter will play you two off each other unless each of you has the other’s back.

I think the gyn exam is a bit extreme unless you think she may have contracted an STI. I also think the weekly drug test is overboard. You can’t trust your daughter right now, so I know it is hard, but you want to develop trust. You can only watch over her for another two or three years. If you fracture your relationship with her, you might be doing more long-term harm than good.

Then again, I am just a person posting on the internet. I am not an expert, and I think finding an expert you trust is honestly the best thing to do in this situation.
 
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Thanks everyone for the advice.

Yes wife and I need to be on the same page. That first.

And boy could I post a doozy about my wife and I …but enuff drama for one night!
 
I wonder if you and your spouse need to seek professional advice together and come to an agreement before you even begin to tackle this situation. You both being at odds with each other and going in with different approaches could do more harm than good.
 
Irishmom2 said:
You and your wife have to present a united front or else your daughter will divide you even more. I would suggest counseling for you and your wife to communicate better and become more united in your parenting style.

The comment about wanting to try other drugs is very unsettling. You should be willing and able to drug test her at your convenience, and your
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This is pretty sound advice. 👆

Both you and your wife needs some counseling from a professional therapist and come up with a unified plan on parenting. A therapist can mediate and be impartial you both will have to compromise but at least you will be working together to help your child.

Your daughter needs counseling/therapist also. There is nothing wrong with seeking help. I have and am much better for it. I have a past, not so much with drug use, but with attempted suicide or serious thoughts of it. Family counseling may also work. However like has been stated by others your daughter needs counseling and so do you and your wife.

Your family will be in my prayers!!! God Bless you and yours.
 
Now is not the time to play told you so with your wife. You two need to create a united front to save your daughters life. Have your wife talk to professionals who see first hand the effects of drug abuse, like ER nurses and paramedics. Some of these guys have had to revive the same person several times in a week from overdoses. She needs it hammered into her head that it’s not okay and that, if she wants her daughter to live or not be a mush-for-brains forty year old without a job still leeching off her enabling mother who can’t afford retirement one day, she needs to take actual action.
 
Trying one person is not enough. It sometimes takes several different people until you find someone you can click with.

And, do you think they are going to medicate her into talking? 🤔
 
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it took me three therapists before i found one I clicked with.
 
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