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Xantippe
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That also occurred to me that the closest model for the Duggar method is Islam, not Western European Christian culture.Re the alcohol comment; are you talking about the secular examples of casual acquaintances having sex?
Of course–our current US casual sex system is unimaginable without lots of alcohol.
And regarding Regency customs and books, as I recall Marianne and Willoughby do go on “curricle” rides together alone. And while their behavior is regarded as borderline scandalous, no one ever accuses Marianne of being unchaste, even though Willoughby is later found to have seduced at least one woman, Eliza, and I suspect likely seduced his eventual wife as well (why else would a heiress who I’m sure had many suitors, marry a man she knew to be a “libertine”?)
I was thinking about those long rides together alone between Marianne and Willoughby, and as I recall, they made Elinor very uncomfortable for her sister. But again, I think it might be a case where the outing would have been appropriate if they had been engaged, but not otherwise. One of the key issues in Sense and Sensibility is that Marianne and Willoughby are doing a lot of stuff that would be appropriate for an engaged couple, but is scandalous without a formal relationship. In Northanger Abbey, there’s also an episode where the heroine goes for a carriage outing with a fast young man who is a good friend of her brother (with her brother and the fast young man’s sister in another carriage???) but a new acquaintance to her and the heroine definitely feels uncomfortable about the propriety of the outing (and even more so when an overnight stay is suggested), but she is persuaded to go by the almost universal pleading of her social circle. So my guess is that it seems to have been at best grey area.
**Interestingly, I think private co-ed walks have more of a stamp of approval from Jane Austen. I can’t pull up a lot of examples, but I can vaguely remember a number of examples from the books. Mr. Darcy, for instance, was hoping to meet Elizabeth on her walks, and given Mr. Darcy’s general icy propriety, that strongly suggests that it was an OK thing to do. **
It also seems that “chaperones” in those times weren’t actually hovering over a couple the way the Duggars mandate, they were close enough to serve as a deterrent to sexual sin, but not so close that the couple had no privacy at all. Also, as I recall, in Northanger Abbey, Catherine’s parents allow her to correspond with Henry Tilney even before they are officially engaged, and do NOT demand access to their letters the way the Duggars demand to be cc’d on texts. And in that case, Catherine was only 17 and certainly considered under the authority of her parents in regard to being allowed to marry, in England at the time, you had to be 21 to marry without parental permission.
**That’s an interesting point about the correspondence. But Catherine’s parents were pretty relaxed–hence their comfort with sending her off to Bath with older friends.
I also think you’re correct about chaperones. I think they were there to prevent major impropriety and protect young women’s reputations, rather than having any more active role.
**
I think it’s telling that if you actually look at the comments posted in response to the TLC.com article linked by the OP, one of them is from a Muslim who states “courtships” are conducted this way in HIS culture too. Now, I have no idea how strict of a Muslim, but I certainly find that comment to be disturbing.
By the way, there’s an old Egyptian movie I saw years ago that’s an Egyptian take on the old US Father of the Bride film. The family is middle class and Westernized, but I noticed that the young couple’s excursions were accompanied by a carful of younger siblings of the young woman.
In traditional Western culture, I think a chaperone would typically be a married woman or a widow.