Adultery 2

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Firstly, it is all 100% true. For myself and my twin sister! Why would i lie? That is too bad
As for being an EHMC i thought that once forgiven, in confessional, with a firm amendment not to sin again that would be enough?Yes, but you seem to have an odd attachment to this EMHC thing… Didn’t Jesus forgive the adulteress and say not to sin anymore?Yup Dont i get that chance or have i got to suffer and suffer?You have taken that chance over and over. I think day one of a relationship that you cannot quit cold turkey and you live a lie even today in front of your wife is disrespectful

Yes, i am willing to suffer. I have been so sinful. I have said how unworthy i feel as being an EHMCAgain with this but the priests i have talked to have all said not to give in to the devil! AgainTo continue doing Gods work,Which is your initial vocation of being a husband but obviously with a clean heart, soul and mind! Obviously

I have been advised by these priests not to tell my wife.She will find out almost definately I do agree with them.of course you do! Doesnt mean i will never tell her.??? Just have to do as they say as i agreeYou have to do as they say?. My wife need not sufferShe is suffering greatly because of this. She just does not know why she is suffering. Or maybe she does. Because she will if i tell her. Her life will fall apart!Better you that someone else We have both agreed to start again.As of last night when you cheated on her in her own house? You have agreed since then? I am more than willing to suffer. But why should she?You need to realize that the harm that is done to her has already been done.

As for seeing what i have written on here, she doesn’t use the internet. Doesnt know how!! Plus she doesnt know my user name! She never sees me on this sight or any other! She just not interested in the internet. Even if she saw me reading this thread she would never think it was written by me!This is the oddest veiw. Perhaps you should learn more about the internet as well. You have a child and a wife who you have given too much information about and have used CAF as a secret therapy? ETC. In just what you have written here, anyone could figure it out. And that very well could happen some day. This is not really the purpose of this site…

I dont want her to get hurt. Is this a new sentiment since last night?I WANT TO KEEP THE SUFFERING FOR ME. She doesnt need to suffer.

How many times did Jesus say to forgive someone? 7 x 77 times? more?Does that mean you should betray someone 76 times? But yes, mercy is endless. And what a week for this to happen! Divine Mercy Sunday is this Sunday and the year of Mercy begins now!

I have tripped up only this once. Multiple times the most recent of which was last night is not once. This type of thinking is expressing that you do not really have the clarity to stop thisI am not a long time adulterer!Yes, you are. Multiple times over months the last being last night is a serial amount This has only happened this only time in 30+ years of marriage! One huge mistake by me. One lustful episode that lasted a few months. Something that I have to live with and regret for ever. I have let my wife down and God. I never thought i was capable of stooping so low. I am no better than the dog poo that i step in!! But, i need Gods forgiveness and guidance.Something about this does not seem right. I would advise you to seek some good counseling. Go by yourself if you have to but you have some things that need some attention that CAF users cannot give you.

This wont happen again.As of today. This has been a massive wake up call to me.As of today? Its taken a few months but it has made me realise how precious my wife is and how dearly i need God in my life.As of today? Because last night that was not the case I have to learn to forgive myself now.That is an odd statement.

I will see what the priest says tomorrow now before i decide what to do regarding EHMC etc.There is that again. Do you have a good understanding of what an EMHC is and is not? At one point i wanted to walk away from my faith!!Dont ever do that I felt so sick and filthy! I am sure the devil would love that to happen! But no! I love God, i love my wife. I want both in my life and if i have to suffer then so be it.How so? I want Gods will to be done in me.Then love your wife and cut contact with this woman

He answered my prayers when my wife had that lump in her breast.Thank God! I told a priest that i was being punished. He told me not to be silly. To pray, pray and pray!

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Part 2

Let me get a few things strait so I don’t jump to conclusions… For the sake of clarity lets go with the point in time that you wrote this thread.
You say you have true repentance but just last night you disrespected your marriage and slept with another woman whom your wife considers a friend in her home under her nose while just recently she had a cancer scare?
You have confessed this several times yet seem to continue to do it.
You vehemently defended your sister saying much the same things you are saying here? Just today (remember( for the point of this thread we are going by the date of the OP) You all hung out together.
Your mistress wants out of her marriage.
We cannot offer you forgiveness or redemption. God and your wife have been offended. She will find out. And it may be from your friend because of guilt, or even other motives of trying to break you up. But the way you are with this and the way you are reacting will belie your secrets.
You have much working against your marriage that is already in need of vast repair. Now there is infidelity on top of that and the friend and you will not cut contact because you could not explain it to your wife and kid. I pray for you. I pray that in all aspects of your marriage you become the husband she deserves. I pray that the mistress also finds renewal in her marriage. She may tell her husband which could put you at risk as well. I very much doubt a couple can be as close as you seem to be and hide this and continue on as friends. Those odds are horrible. I also hope that when you typed a few days ago about how God would be proud of condoms and the Church is wrong that it was your guilt and pride talking. But that pride and guilt needs to be conqureed and you need to become one with the Church ESPECIALLY on the understanding of sex and the purpose of it and marriage. The fruit from the tree you are eating is death and destruction. God’s Mercy in infinite. You need only repent and sin no more. (as of today) But none on here can offer forgiveness or even the therapy you need. I wish we could. You should not have posted this and I think you should ask the mods to take it down.

 

[808Catholic]

I feel awful!!!

As some of you may know, my twin sister had an affair which lasted around 5 months. She has gotten over it after a lot of heartache and is now on the right track to God.

Well, i cannot believe that i have just suffered the same fate!!!

I fell for a dear friend of mine, and the wifes! We got close and i committed adultery with her!! Oh my God!! I cannot believe what i have gone and done!

The wife and I have drifted apart over many years. We have a lovely child (Under 10). We fell out of love and respect and closeness. This ‘woman’ was the same. Several children, loveless marriage. We got to be very close friends. Good pals. Good to talk to.

Well, one day we just had a passionate embrace and next min we are in bed!!!

This has happened on several occasions over Lent etc!!! Sex, confession, sex, confession, sex confession!!! Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Last time was last night. She is best friends with my wife. She stayed with us. I asked her into spare bedroom. We made love. I got up this morning and i want to die!!! This has to stop. After all the advice i gave my sister i am now in the depths of hell myself!

I love God. I am an EHMC. My priest has told me to carry on being an EHMC. He told me i must forget this woman. To sin no more.

People, it is lust. Pure and simple. Lust!!! I just want her when i see her. I know this is so wrong! I do love my wife. But we have grown so so far apart!!

I wish i could forget this woman but she is my wifes best friend, and her daughter and my daughter as super best friends!!! Only today we all went out for the day together!!

Her husband is very selfish and she wants to leave him.

I have known her for a long time but only recently we got close.

How do i deal with the lust? She is sooooooooooooo good looking, so sexy!!!

I want to take her from my mind. I wish i was blind so that i never saw her again!!!

I have talked to my priest. He was very understanding and superb. I am lost. Need God. I need my faith. I need my wife and daughter.

Closeness has not been in my marriage for many many years!! I am not talking sex. I am talking huggs, kisses, talking etc.

My wife is now trying. I am too.

How do i stop lust!!! Sexual urges!! Wanting this other woman!!!

I need God so much!!!

First, take responsibility for what you’ve done. You say you’ve confessed adultery multiple times and still continue to sin. You also say you’re responsible but you take no actions to avoid the sin; instead you sin with the woman in the same house as your wife and child. To borrow a line from Fr. Larry Richards, “Be a man!” Face up to the fact that you’re out of control. Marriage is a sacrament that makes you and your wife one. How can you NOT tell her of your infidelity?!

Second, as an EMHC, you know that you are not right with God so how can you continue in your ministry especially knowing you haven’t taken any steps to stop sinning? How many parishioners know about your indiscretions and are using them to justify their own adulterous actions? Even if your priest says to stay on, man up and step down even if it’s temporary. You are not just handing out bread to people, you are a minister of the Holy Eucharist! Stop profaning His Holy Gift!

I pray that God gives you the strength to do the right thing and the courage to set it right before you cause irreversible damage to your family.

 

[whm]

I have tripped up only this once. I am not a long time adulterer!

Yes you are, with your daughters best friend’s mom and your wife’s friend in your house no less. Not only is that adultery, it is a really bad one too.

I am starting to think you are trolling us. I will not waste anymore time on this thread. If you are for real, you need to get some professional help.

 

[ajecphotos]

Part 2

Let me get a few things strait so I don’t jump to conclusions… For the sake of clarity lets go with the point in time that you wrote this thread.
You say you have true repentance but just last night you disrespected your marriage and slept with another woman whom your wife considers a friend in her home under her nose while just recently she had a cancer scare?

Last night? How come? It was on tuesday evening!

You have confessed this several times yet seem to continue to do it.

How do i continue to do so when it was on tuesday evening that the last embrace happened and of which wednesday morning i went to see a priest and even before seeing him i realised that it would never happen again

You vehemently defended your sister saying much the same things you are saying here?

**Slightly different circumstances as sister is going through a divorce. She wants that. I dont. **

Just today (remember( for the point of this thread we are going by the date of the OP) You all hung out together.

**No, tuesday we hung out together! **

Your mistress wants out of her marriage.

Not my mistress anymore! Please read my posts and check the dates. I said i realised enough was enough the day after (Which was tuesday evening!) She can leave her husband if she wants. I want to stay with my wife.

We cannot offer you forgiveness or redemption. God and your wife have been offended.

Only God can offer that

She will find out. And it may be from your friend because of guilt, or even other motives of trying to break you up. But the way you are with this and the way you are reacting will belie your secrets.

She wont find out from me or my ex mistress! We both agree 100% that our partners will never know. Nobody else knows

You have much working against your marriage that is already in need of vast repair. Now there is infidelity on top of that and the friend and you will not cut contact because you could not explain it to your wife and kid.

Wrong as only issue i had with marriage was me! I have turned a corner. My wife doesnt want to see her friend much as she has told me that they dont see eye to eye anymore and she wants to distance herself from her!

I pray for you. I pray that in all aspects of your marriage you become the husband she deserves. I pray that the mistress also finds renewal in her marriage. She may tell her husband which could put you at risk as well.

She wont tell her husband. I believe her 100%. Nothing to gain for either of us.

I very much doubt a couple can be as close as you seem to be and hide this and continue on as friends. Those odds are horrible.

As i stated before, the friendship is strained between my wife and her. It is on a downward spiral. Remember, i have heard from both of them of how they feel. Both just want to remain friends and that it!

I also hope that when you typed a few days ago about how God would be proud of condoms and the Church is wrong that it was your guilt and pride talking. But that pride and guilt needs to be conqureed and you need to become one with the Church ESPECIALLY on the understanding of sex and the purpose of it and marriage.

Look, as a Catholic i have some different views. Nothing wrong in that. I am a Catholic! Ok, i disagree with a couple of things. It doesnt mean that those views of mine will not change! I am on a big learning curve at the moment which requires a lot of pray and guidance from God and the clergy of which i am 100% open to.

The fruit from the tree you are eating is death and destruction.

Wrong! It is a ‘PAST MEAL’. I am not eating that food anymore!! Please read my threads closely and check the dates!!

God’s Mercy in infinite. You need only repent and sin no more. (as of today)

Already did that on the wednesday!! The morning i awoke from the night before!! Where i realised once and for all that i had been so wrong in my actions etc!!

But none on here can offer forgiveness or even the therapy you need. I wish we could. You should not have posted this and I think you should ask the mods to take it down.

**Only God can give forgiveness. I have gone through that with my priest. I have promised not to sin again. It has been a massive wake up call.

I am glad i posted what i have if only it will save one person from acting like i have then i will be happy. May my thread be a warning to others who are on the path i was on.**

Its a shame that you have not read my posts properly. Checked the dates. You have been very negative to me and i am so glad that i have such a good group of priests to turn to for help and advice. There have been some really good helpful posts on here and i am so glad that i can turn to this wonderful website when i have been in such despair through my own faults.

What happened to me will not happen again. I need my wife, i need God. Sometimes it takes a lot of bad in ones life before one realises what good there is in that life.

God bless everyone

 

[ajecphotos]

First, take responsibility for what you’ve done. You say you’ve confessed adultery multiple times and still continue to sin. You also say you’re responsible but you take no actions to avoid the sin; instead you sin with the woman in the same house as your wife and child.

Since January i have been unfaithful and have repented quite a few times since then. The devil had the better of me! I have at last taken action to sin no more (Wednesday morning). Not sinned since and determined not to ever again!

To borrow a line from Fr. Larry Richards, “Be a man!” Face up to the fact that you’re out of control. Marriage is a sacrament that makes you and your wife one. How can you NOT tell her of your infidelity?!

I have faced up to the facts. Not a case of out of control as first and last time i will ever be unfaithful! I am not telling her because i really dont want to destroy her life and also 3 priests have told me not too! Doesnt God speak through the priest in confession? Are we to ignore Gods advice?

Second, as an EMHC, you know that you are not right with God so how can you continue in your ministry especially knowing you haven’t taken any steps to stop sinning? How many parishioners know about your indiscretions and are using them to justify their own adulterous actions? Even if your priest says to stay on, man up and step down even if it’s temporary. You are not just handing out bread to people, you are a minister of the Holy Eucharist! Stop profaning His Holy Gift!

**This is what the Devil would love! My priests have told me this. He would love me to step down. Another victory to Satan! Do we all know of each others sins in church? Do we know the sins of our neighbour? How bad are your sins? Who knows?

At confession we are forgiven by God through the priest! Soon as you walk out you are forgiven!! Am i to disbelieve that? Doesnt God forgive that instant? If my priest tells me to carry on as an EHMC who am i to disagree? Isnt his advice, the words of God good enough?**

I pray that God gives you the strength to do the right thing and the courage to set it right before you cause irreversible damage to your family.:

He has as i determined, as and from wednesday morning to seek priestly advice and to sin no more. I am determined more than life iteself not to sin again! I want to stand by my wife. I want to love her forever. I want to show God that I DO LOVE HIM and that i am determined to not visit this terrible sin ever again!

 

[ajecphotos]

I have been very sinful. I have betrayed my wife and God. It all stopped on wednesday morning!!! I have sought priestly advice. I have sought Gods advice.

I place my hand on my heart and declare that i will not commit these sins again!

Anyone who reads my thread and is going through the same sinfulness as i was i urge you to seek out your priest. Go to confession. Take heed of Gods and your priests words. Dont do what i have done. The Devil wants you to go against God like i did. Repent. Believe in God. Embrace the sacraments of the Catholic Church. Amend your ways. Ask for forgiveness and sin no more!!

This is what i am living for now! I want my wife. I want God

**Thank you Catholic Answers for guiding me and listening to me. For your kind words and love from God! **

 

[MaryT777]

When I read this thread my heart aches for this man’s wife. May God abundantly bless her
in her life and may she find restoration in her marriage with a man who is faithful to her and God.

All adulterers miraculously seem to believe in condoms when the time comes to avoid pregnancy with someone not their wife, but of course they are not 100%. She could become pregnant at this point or be sleeping with other guys too and pass on a STD.

The consequences of these types of actions can be devastating to our own souls and hurt others deeply.

Mary.

 

[EasterJoy]

Obviously not what you think. What are you objecting to so I can clarify. Are you familiar with the other threads?

What is with the “…Honestly I could have sworn you were a woman, but I guess I was wrong…” is what I meant.

I do not see how you could have meant this is a way that isn’t insulting to us, since your post seemed to aim at arousing shame in the target. So yes, do clarify what that “I could have sworn you were a woman” thing was all about.

 

[wild_thing]

OP, I am praying for you and your family during this time. May God guide you in doing His will for your life. God bless.

 

[ajecphotos]

Well, just came back from seeing the 4th priest since wednesday! This priest i saw today doesnt know me at all unlike the other 3.

I explained everything to him truthfully.

I asked him if i should tell the wife even though the wife and I are now trying to get our marriage back on track. He said no. He said that if i did the ‘whole’ family would suffer and that was not to be done.

I asked him if i should continue as an EMHC and he said that i definitely should continue as it was a way of giving me strength and help from God. I told him i loved doing that ministry and he said that i should continue doing it!

He told me in no uncertain terms that i have to keep away from all near occasions of sin with the woman. I must be strong. I must pray and think of the harm i am doing if i went there again. I agreed 100%. I am determined not to commit that terrible sin again. This i told him. It is true. I have suddenly, this week, been woken up from a nightmare!!

He was very understanding and i did tell him how badly i acted and how the wife and I were committed to ‘starting again’.

Ok, so i have seen 4 priests now! Thats very much over the top i know but some on here were stating that maybe the priest/s got it wrong! People saying i should tell the wife and stop being an EMHC, that i was unworthy and being quite negative etc, which is understandable. I wanted a 2nd opinion, 3rd opinion, 4th opinion!!! Listening to them all and telling them what has been going on has been so hard. They all gave me the same advice! Amazing! Truly made me believe that God does indeed speak through his priests. I am so thankful for confession and the ability to talk to a priest when need be. Where would i be without them?

As i said, 3 of the priests i know very well indeed so i just wanted the help, guidance and opinion from a priest i didnt know. This is what i got today.

So, i am going to try and put all this behind me and learn from it. I have been evil. I did cheat on my wife. I betrayed God. I have had absolution from God. I now move forward with God in my heart and soul.

I am determined to love my wife and family 100%. I made some really stupid mistakes but i am hoping that i have learnt from them. I know i have!!

I hope that this thread will help anyone else who is in a similar situation. Please, if you are, see your priest! Confess to God! Be absolved and sin no more!

Thank you God for speaking to me through your servants.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

What is with the “…Honestly I could have sworn you were a woman, but I guess I was wrong…” is what I meant.

I do not see how you could have meant this is a way that isn’t insulting to us, since your post seemed to aim at arousing shame in the target. So yes, do clarify what that “I could have sworn you were a woman” thing was all about.

I probably could have left that out. It was not meant to be insulting but rather I was just surprised that the OP was a man because for some reason I thought the OP was a female. No real slam intended, It just kinda threw me for a loop.

Anyway I see the OP is still slamming others as wrong etc. And for my own mental health, I think I will just let this go and ignore the thread. I know all I need to know and I know from past threads the OP is set in his ways of viewing things.

I do hope it works out. And my heart goes out to his wife.

I think one of the important points on this thread is when you divorce the marital act from holiness and introduce a lie. The lie of ABC. The fruit of that lie is indeed insidious.

I pray the OP and the mistress find their way back to marital fidelity and holiness. And I pray that it will end in true redemption, repentance, and amendment. But, given what I have seen of life, that would be against some major odds. But I hope for it nonetheless.

 

[ajecphotos]

I probably could have left that out. It was not meant to be insulting but rather I was just surprised that the OP was a man because for some reason I thought the OP was a female. No real slam intended, It just kinda threw me for a loop.

Anyway I see the OP is still slamming others as wrong etc. And for my own mental health, I think I will just let this go and ignore the thread. I know all I need to know and I know from past threads the OP is set in his ways of viewing things.

I do hope it works out. And my heart goes out to his wife.

I think one of the important points on this thread is when you divorce the marital act from holiness and introduce a lie. The lie of ABC. The fruit of that lie is indeed insidious.

I pray the OP and the mistress find their way back to marital fidelity and holiness. And I pray that it will end in true redemption, repentance, and amendment. But, given what I have seen of life, that would be against some major odds. But I hope for it nonetheless.

Dont be nagative!! Believe in the wonder of God! I do. I truly believe that God has spoken to me through these priests and wants me back! I truly believe that i have woken from a bad dream and that God is helping me in my life. This week has opened up my eyes!! I really thought i was doomed!

I turned back to God and now feel anew. I feel as though a massive weight has been lifted off of me. I have been forgiven by God!! I will fight for my marriage, i will fight not to be separated from God!

Faith. Its all about faith. Faith in God, faith in forgiveness, faith in knowing that things will get better and faith knowing that i will not commit adultery again!!! Happy those that have not seen yet believe!

God bless everyone!!

 

[EasterJoy]

I probably could have left that out. It was not meant to be insulting but rather I was just surprised that the OP was a man because for some reason I thought the OP was a female. No real slam intended, It just kinda threw me for a loop.

Anyway I see the OP is still slamming others as wrong etc. And for my own mental health, I think I will just let this go and ignore the thread. I know all I need to know and I know from past threads the OP is set in his ways of viewing things.

I do hope it works out. And my heart goes out to his wife…

I have found that there are some threads I ought to just leave to others. I don’t think there is any shame in that or any condemnation of the persons starting the threads implied in that. It is hard to learn, but sometimes it is better for everyone to realize that you cannot help everyone, not even everyone to whom your heart truly goes out. Some important work is the work of others, that’s all.

I think that’s the reason behind the Lord’s instruction to not throw pearls before swine. It is not that there are souls for whom God does not thirst. It is that there are situations where we cannot help, but only waste our efforts and muddy ourselves. When you see you’re in that situation, wish all well as you leave, but get out of the pen and don’t look back. That seems to be the course you are choosing. I think that shows wisdom and humility on your part. Resist all temptation to defend your choice.

 

[EasterJoy]

Dont be nagative!! Believe in the wonder of God! I do. I truly believe that God has spoken to me through these priests and wants me back! I truly believe that i have woken from a bad dream and that God is helping me in my life. This week has opened up my eyes!! I really thought i was doomed!

I turned back to God and now feel anew. I feel as though a massive weight has been lifted off of me. I have been forgiven by God!! I will fight for my marriage, i will fight not to be separated from God!

Faith. Its all about faith. Faith in God, faith in forgiveness, faith in knowing that things will get better and faith knowing that i will not commit adultery again!!! Happy those that have not seen yet believe!

God bless everyone!!

I would caution anyone against “priest shopping,” but other than that I’d say that it is enough to carefully consider what everyone says when you ask for advice, but to leave behind what is not helpful without making it a reflection on either yourself or the giver that it is not useful to you. It is hard to see someone ignoring solicited advice and hard to not feel some reason to justify yourself, but it is better to just thank those who try to help and then choose your course of action with justification made only to those who are directly involved with the outcome you might be choosing.

IOW, justify yourself to your confessor, your family, your wife. Don’t worry about justifying yourself to anyone else, including your consort in sin. Be dutiful to those to whom you have a true duty, and do not get bogged down with anyone else. When you are struggling to get back into the boat yourself, it is better to save the saving of others for another day. The day when you will have your feet on firmer ground and can throw out the life lines will come, be sure of that. For right now, it is wiser to refrain from it.

 

[pianistclare]

Well, just came back from seeing the 4th priest since wednesday! This priest i saw today doesnt know me at all unlike the other 3.

I explained everything to him truthfully.

I asked him if i should tell the wife even though the wife and I are now trying to get our marriage back on track. He said no. He said that if i did the ‘whole’ family would suffer and that was not to be done.

I asked him if i should continue as an EMHC and he said that i definitely should continue as it was a way of giving me strength and help from God. I told him i loved doing that ministry and he said that i should continue doing it!

He told me in no uncertain terms that i have to keep away from all near occasions of sin with the woman. I must be strong. I must pray and think of the harm i am doing if i went there again. I agreed 100%. I am determined not to commit that terrible sin again. This i told him. It is true. I have suddenly, this week, been woken up from a nightmare!!

He was very understanding and i did tell him how badly i acted and how the wife and I were committed to ‘starting again’.

Ok, so i have seen 4 priests now! Thats very much over the top i know but some on here were stating that maybe the priest/s got it wrong! People saying i should tell the wife and stop being an EMHC, that i was unworthy and being quite negative etc, which is understandable. I wanted a 2nd opinion, 3rd opinion, 4th opinion!!! Listening to them all and telling them what has been going on has been so hard. They all gave me the same advice! Amazing! Truly made me believe that God does indeed speak through his priests. I am so thankful for confession and the ability to talk to a priest when need be. Where would i be without them?

As i said, 3 of the priests i know very well indeed so i just wanted the help, guidance and opinion from a priest i didnt know. This is what i got today.

So, i am going to try and put all this behind me and learn from it. I have been evil. I did cheat on my wife. I betrayed God. I have had absolution from God. I now move forward with God in my heart and soul.

I am determined to love my wife and family 100%. I made some really stupid mistakes but i am hoping that i have learnt from them. I know i have!!

I hope that this thread will help anyone else who is in a similar situation. Please, if you are, see your priest! Confess to God! Be absolved and sin no more!

Thank you God for speaking to me through your servants.

I’m glad you are so happy to tell everyone they are wrong.
Maybe now that you have validation, you can take at least that same amount of time to work on healing your relationship with your wife. So far you have said nothing about what you are going to do to turn it around. Nothing.
Care more about her than the people on the internet.
And take your own advice. Be absolve and sin no more.
I’m out.

 

[pianistclare]

Dont be nagative!! Believe in the wonder of God! I do. I truly believe that God has spoken to me through these priests and wants me back! I truly believe that i have woken from a bad dream and that God is helping me in my life. This week has opened up my eyes!! I really thought i was doomed!

I turned back to God and now feel anew.
** I feel as though a massive weight has been lifted **off of me. I have been forgiven by God!! I will fight for my marriage, i will fight not to be separated from God!

Faith. Its all about faith. Faith in God, faith in forgiveness, faith in knowing that things will get better and faith knowing that i will not commit adultery again!!! Happy those that have not seen yet believe!

God bless everyone!!

Wonder how your poor wide feels…

OK, now I’m really out.

 

[808Catholic]

People, this other woman has only ever had one man. Her husband. Just like me and the wife. We have been friends for many years so know each other very well.

I have since seen another 2 priests (1 Last night and one this morning 1 is a Canon) who also advised me not to tell my wife. In his words ‘why should she suffer’. I explained ‘everything’ to him. Told him it was all my fault. Just because the wife and I have not ‘been in love’ for years shouldn’t have made any difference, i agree.

I have been 100% truthful to the priests. Told them ‘everything’.

The priests know me very well indeed. Known them all a long time. They have all said i should continue to be an EHMC as if i stop now the devil has won and also, those that i take Communion to would suffer as they rely on me. One of the priests said that the devil would be so pleased if he managed to take me away from serving God! He would be rubbing his hands together. I have told the priests i feel 100% unworthy to carry out the ministry, that i feel sick about what i have done but they have all stated that to carry on the ministry is very important. Obviously i have to promise not to sin again! This i am very much determined to do! I love God and i will not sin this sin again! I pray that God will guide me.

I have promised not to commit this terrible sin again. I am determined to stay faithful to my wife and God.

The wife and i have decided to make a new start. We have both agreed that we need to get the love back that was lost. I dont want to lose her! Ok, i should have thought of all that before i sinned. These things happen. One of the priests told me that i have to be strong in my faith, to pray hard. I must not go near the woman.

This is hard as her daughter and mine are best friends. Plus my wife and her are very good friends too even though lately my wife and her have had a strained relationship.

You people, who am i to listen to? The 3 priests i have now seen or people on the internet? I need your advice too though.

I know i have been so wrong. So bad. But life is not easy and it is so easy to fall.

I so wish i didn’t do what i have done!! It kills me to think of the deception and hurt. But, i know the wife shouldn’t know as that would cause her extreme pain! It would tear her world in 2 and especially now as we have decided to start again!

I have lost a lot of sleep worrying about what i have done. It has stopped. I will not commit adultery again!! I am praying hard for that!

Also, i have never had an affair before!! This was my first and last!!

The woman in question as said that she will not tell her husband or my wife. She has agreed that it should end!

And yes, my twin sister went through a very similar experience of which is now sorted as she is no longer seeing the other guy but unlike me wants a divorce of which she is in the process of going through.

Even if 3 priests who know you very well told you to not tell your wife, you know in your heart it’s the right thing to do and is part of being “one person” rather than 2 people co-habitating. Despite what your priests told you, I have a hard time believing another sin to cover a sin is okay! So you and your “ex-mistress” have decided to keep a secret from your respective spouses; how is that honoring your marriage? When it slips out, and it’s impossible to keep a secret, the effects may be more devastating than if you both had admitted your indiscretion to your respective spouses. At some point, when your respective daughter learn of your adulterous affairs, they may fall out of faith because of your bad example. Set the good example: confess to God, confess to your wife. God Bless you.

 

[ajecphotos]

I’m glad you are so happy to tell everyone they are wrong.
Maybe now that you have validation, you can take at least that same amount of time to work on healing your relationship with your wife. So far you have said nothing about what you are going to do to turn it around. Nothing.
Care more about her than the people on the internet.
And take your own advice. Be absolve and sin no more.
I’m out.

No, what the priests have said is right. I have taken their advice and not what others on here said about telling the wife etc. I am not telling others their advice is wrong. Its just not ‘right’ for me in this case!

I said:

I am determined to love my wife and family 100%. What does that mean do you think? It means giving them everything of myself. Commitment, Love, Tenderness, Truth, Loyalty etc. That one sentence means i am giving them everything to show them that i want to be with them forever. It means i am sorry and repentant!

 

[ajecphotos]

Even if 3 priests who know you very well told you to not tell your wife, you know in your heart it’s the right thing to do and is part of being “one person” rather than 2 people co-habitating. Despite what your priests told you, I have a hard time believing another sin to cover a sin is okay! So you and your “ex-mistress” have decided to keep a secret from your respective spouses; how is that honoring your marriage? When it slips out, and it’s impossible to keep a secret, the effects may be more devastating than if you both had admitted your indiscretion to your respective spouses. At some point, when your respective daughter learn of your adulterous affairs, they may fall out of faith because of your bad example. Set the good example: confess to God, confess to your wife. God Bless you.

Well, i have to believe that God speaks through his priests. Dont you? What better advice can someone receive? I may ‘want’ to tell my wife but they have said dont. They have told me why. I have agreed with them. The ‘4’ of them!

So, you think that what the priests told me ‘not to do’ is a sin? How can it be a sin ‘not’ to tell my wife? They all advised me to say nothing. Isn’t that Gods advice?

Its not impossible to keep a secret. That is all down to trust between people. For me, it is solid as it is for my very very ex ex mistress! It wont ‘slip out’ as determination is so strong for both parties. The effects of me telling her now would be mind blowingly devastating for the whole family! It would tear the whole family apart! We would not survive! Why cause all that heartache now? The priests told me the same thing. They said no! Dont say anything. I agree. Persona Christi. I believe this and know that Jesus is telling me what to do.

I have confessed to God. I have been absolved.

If they were to find out it wont be from me and it wont be from her and as we are the only 2 that know i know for sure the priests wont say anything!!

Trust in God. Remember, this is what God wants me to do. The priests have spoken with God in their minds and on their tongues!

Doesn’t God speak through his priest? In this case all 4 of them!! Am i to disregard that advice and reject God?