Adultery 2

[ajecphotos]

You protest too much. It is OK to thank people for their advice and just let it go. Otherwise, the two of you will stand over that dead horse of your contention and beat it to death far past death, which is what is happening here.

No, i dont protest. It is others that are protesting on her that i am not doing what they want me to do!! I have told people what is happening but they refuse that. They want me to disregard the advice of my confessors!

Reflect on what you have heard from those whose advice you have, after all, solicited. It is physically impossible to take all the advice you have been given. Reflect on it all, but take what you take and leave the rest. If there is nothing more they can say to change your mind, do not even respond with more than a “thank you.”

I only respond out of courtesy. Nobody needs to post! If you read the advice i have been given on here it all boils down to the same 2 things! STDs, of which i have answered many times as having a clean bill of health, and also people wanting me to tell my wife of which i am not going to as i have been directed not to by my confessors who did so through confession and thus God!

Only question what they post when you are asking for a clarification. Whatever you do, though, do NOT argue with them about their advice! They didn’t come here asking you what you think of them!

**But, why should they / you keep posting the same things all the time? You keep on going over the same ground. Why not only YOU post when sufficient to do so? I am not arguing with anyone as i have told you where i stand. I am accepting help straight from God!

They / you have come on here trying to bully me into doing what YOU want! I have told you, i am doing Gods will.**

It is pretty hard to use the priests who have advised you as your defense, since you have heard them first hand and you’re here looking for more opinions. OK, so don’t defend the priests. No one here knows who they are, and those priests do not care what anyone here thinks of their advice. Let that go.

Ok, so let go of your constantly never changing arguments.The priests are very relevant as from them has come the best advice anyone could ever wish for! Advice from God!

I might suggest that some time spent lurking–DO NOT POST!!–on the forums and blogs for the victims of infidelity might give you a perspective you have not had. Besides that, the most important thing is to avoid all near occasions of sin.

**I love these forums and am always willing to help and advise etc. I would never dream of force feeding advice to anyone who is strong in a particular stance.

Avoiding the near occasion of sin was drummed into me by the priests and i have taken that advice on board too.

Many thanks for your post**

 

[Maine52]

I’ve been mulling this over, and while I am aware that 4 different priests told you not to tell your wife, I cannot fathom how keeping it a secret is the right thing to do. I fully understand the point of view that she should not suffer, but I can’t see how this will not be, as others have said, a “cancer” in your marriage. Your wife and mistress have distanced themselves from each other, that is true, but you don’t just significantly distance yourself from your best friend for no apparent reason. It is highly likely that they will not keep their distance from each other permanently. And it’s also not impossible that you misteress will tell your wife. Also I agree with those who said your wife’s womanly intuition will inevitably sense something’s up. Secrets like this eat at you. I just don’t see how anyone could keep something like this a secret for life.

And just for the record, I know someone whose priest told them it was ok to do in vitro fertilization, something which the Church deems gravely immoral. There are a variety of posts from people here on CAF who have gotten less-than-good advice from priests. Priests should be respected as God’s servants, but it does not mean they are infallible.

 

[Lou2U]

OP, I understand that sometimes people do not come across very well on the internet. Things that you say can sometimes be perceived a different way. I don’t know if that’s what’s happening here, but what I can see from this post is:

I am not trying to justify my infidelity!! I take full responsibility for what happened! I was fully to blame. The wife and I were going through a stressful time for the last 8 years. I do not blame her one bit.

You say that you take the blame, but then you say you have been going through a rough patch with your wife. That is a justification. You may have taken the blame, but you are seemingly justifying why the had the affair.

I have heard everything you have all said. Its the same record though:

STDs, which are non existent.

Have you been checked by a doctor? If not, you cannot say that STD’s are non existent. How do you know? You may not have a disease, but you do not 100% know that the other woman does not. She may have been in a sexless marriage for the past 10 years, but that does not mean she has never had an affair before.

Telling my wife, of which i accept the advice of GOD through my confessors to say nothing. Doesn’t Gods words mean anything to you? Are we not taught that God speaks to us through the priest in confession? Am i to disobey that advice from God?

I don’t disagree with your Priests. If you have chosen not to tell your wife, then don’t tell your wife. But please, consider her safety as well as your own and get checked if you haven’t already.

Lou

 

[ajecphotos]

I’ve been mulling this over, and while I am aware that 4 different priests told you not to tell your wife, I cannot fathom how keeping it a secret is the right thing to do. I fully understand the point of view that she should not suffer, but I can’t see how this will not be, as others have said, a “cancer” in your marriage. Your wife and mistress have distanced themselves from each other, that is true, but you don’t just significantly distance yourself from your best friend for no apparent reason. It is highly likely that they will not keep their distance from each other permanently. And it’s also not impossible that you misteress will tell your wife. Also I agree with those who said your wife’s womanly intuition will inevitably sense something’s up. Secrets like this eat at you. I just don’t see how anyone could keep something like this a secret for life.

Well, we are all different. Everyone reacts differently. Some people are better at keeping secrets than others and it also depends on what is there that can be lost forever if that secret ever came out!! The only person it will eat away at would be me as the wife is oblivious to what has gone on! I am confident that i will keep the secret as will my ex. Both of us have a lot to loose if it came out but, my wife would loose the most as it would tip her over the edge and life would be unbearable for her. Remember, i know her!

And just for the record, I know someone whose priest told them it was ok to do in vitro fertilization, something which the Church deems gravely immoral. There are a variety of posts from people here on CAF who have gotten less-than-good advice from priests. Priests should be respected as God’s servants, but it does not mean they are infallible.

I agree but getting 4 priests to give the exact same advise has got to be straight from God!! I was amazed i was given the same advise by them all!

 

[ajecphotos]

OP, I understand that sometimes people do not come across very well on the internet. Things that you say can sometimes be perceived a different way. I don’t know if that’s what’s happening here, but what I can see from this post is:

You say that you take the blame, but then you say you have been going through a rough patch with your wife. That is a justification. You may have taken the blame, but you are seemingly justifying why the had the affair.

All marriages go through rough patches. Ours lasted quite a few years. Remember we have been together for 30+ years! I have taken the blame for the adultery because that was ‘my doing’. It was not down to my wife. Lots of factors involved but it it all boils down to infidelity. I was weak!

Have you been checked by a doctor? If not, you cannot say that STD’s are non existent. How do you know? You may not have a disease, but you do not 100% know that the other woman does not. She may have been in a sexless marriage for the past 10 years, but that does not mean she has never had an affair before.

**STDs are non existent because i know i was STD free and i know the ex was STD free!! You have to know someone very well to accept that. I do / did. I know the family extremely well. **

I don’t disagree with your Priests. If you have chosen not to tell your wife, then don’t tell your wife. But please, consider her safety as well as your own and get checked if you haven’t already.

**As i said before there is no worry over STDs. This is a 100% fact. No need for me to expand on that.

Many thanks and God bless you**

Lou

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I am posting again on this thread.

I believe the OP is either having some sort of mental issue or is a lost cause. I do not intend to sway his behavior one iota. However, there are some things that need to be pointed out for other readers and future readers.

1. There is a misundersatnding of the theological principle of a priest being “the mouth of God” In the confessional, the absolution is indeed directly from God himself. But the advice is just the advice of a person. In this case 4 persons (I am not sure why 4 are needed) However that advice is not the “Word of God”. I have been given generic advice, really really bad advice and really really good advice in the confessional. Never, not even with the good advice did I think that it was supernatural advice. Just the advice of a wise, or not so wise man who hears a ton of things in the confessional and has a unique perspective because of it.
2. STD testing is of utmost importance after extramarital relations. I don’t care if you used 4 condoms and a garbage bag. It is pure ignorance and irresponsibility to suggest otherwise. One cannot know for a fact what the OP claims because the OPs mistress is in a bad marriage where she has not had sex with the husband for 10 years!? I seriously doubt this is her first exploration into extramarital risky behavior. And to be so bold as to sleep with her best friends husband in her best friends house under her best friends nose!? Nope, that takes some working up to. She lied. She lied to her husband and worse she lied with her body. I would not stake the life of my wife and children on the say so of a liar… Fear of testing can be the cause of such a reaction. Especially fear after waiting for the results of a cancer scare. But that fear should not rule the prudent and safe thing to do which is to find out the necessary information. That one argues that point shows either fear of finding out (which is the biggest reason people do not get tested) or ignorance of STDs. Not to mention possible drug use.
3. While I pray for the wife. I also pity her immensely. She has a husband who did this, and is acting irrational just in typing. But he is doing this all while he claims he is always home and works from home and the wife does not even know how to use the internet? I am concerned that she is either treated poorly by the OP or is lacking in some basic life experiences and skills.
4. Mistresses who are looking for a divorce and cheat somehow have a way of telling either their husbands or their friends in these situations.
5. The OP is setting himself up for many many dangerous scenarios with dangerous thinking and behavior. This can manifest itself in many ways divorce, a relationship with the mistress, continued behavior, and false sense of safety from sin by thinking everything is ok.
6. Priests can often be misused. Here, we have a situation where the OPs drama has taken up the time of 4 priests. The OP might not need to be a EMHC if the priests were freed from this type of “priest shopping”.
7. The OP professes repentance but insists on reliving it right under his wife’s nose in her house randomly typing to us on the internet about it, continuing the lie and telling us that he has it all covered because he is so clever and she will never find out. Etc. That is disrespectful to his wife and is a continuation of the disrespect he showed when he committed these horrible sins.

 

[ajecphotos]

I am posting again on this thread.

I believe the OP is either having some sort of mental issue or is a lost cause. I do not intend to sway his behavior one iota. However, there are some things that need to be pointed out for other readers and future readers.

You say that because of my strong belief in what God has told me through my confessors!

1. There is a misundersatnding of the theological principle of a priest being “the mouth of God” In the confessional, the absolution is indeed directly from God himself. But the advice is just the advice of a person. In this case 4 persons (I am not sure why 4 are needed) However that advice is not the “Word of God”. I have been given generic advice, really really bad advice and really really good advice in the confessional. Never, not even with the good advice did I think that it was supernatural advice. Just the advice of a wise, or not so wise man who hears a ton of things in the confessional and has a unique perspective because of it.

Well, Padre Pio gave many godly advice in the confessional. For me, it really was the ‘word of God’ as all 4 gave the same advice to me. I have a very strong belief in God even though i committed adultery and betrayed him! I strongly believe that God was instructing me to carry out his will.

1. STD testing is of utmost importance after extramarital relations. I don’t care if you used 4 condoms and a garbage bag. It is pure ignorance and irresponsibility to suggest otherwise. One cannot know for a fact what the OP claims because the OPs mistress is in a bad marriage where she has not had sex with the husband for 10 years!? I seriously doubt this is her first exploration into extramarital risky behavior. And to be so bold as to sleep with her best friends husband in her best friends house under her best friends nose!? Nope, that takes some working up to. She lied. She lied to her husband and worse she lied with her body. I would not stake the life of my wife and children on the say so of a liar… Fear of testing can be the cause of such a reaction. Especially fear after waiting for the results of a cancer scare. But that fear should not rule the prudent and safe thing to do which is to find out the necessary information. That one argues that point shows either fear of finding out (which is the biggest reason people do not get tested) or ignorance of STDs. Not to mention possible drug use.

**See, this is where knowing someone is very important. You dont know her or me. The ex, had only ever been with her husband. Just like i had only ever been with my wife. I knew her even more than her own husband! That is a FACT. What we did was a MASSIVE shock to the both of us! It was not planned. It just happened! We didnt go looking for extramarital things!

No fear of testing as there is no need what so ever. Also, no drug use in any of our families.**

1. While I pray for the wife. I also pity her immensely. She has a husband who did this, and is acting irrational just in typing. But he is doing this all while he claims he is always home and works from home and the wife does not even know how to use the internet? I am concerned that she is either treated poorly by the OP or is lacking in some basic life experiences and skills.

**I am far from irrational. I am fully aware of what went on and how God has helped steer us back together.

I work from home. My wife has never been one for technology and just about manages to use her mobile! Not everyone in the world is interested in the internet etc! She has her own hobbies etc.
**

1. Mistresses who are looking for a divorce and cheat somehow have a way of telling either their husbands or their friends in these situations.

Maybe most do. I know one who doesnt and isnt going to say anything!

1. The OP is setting himself up for many many dangerous scenarios with dangerous thinking and behavior. This can manifest itself in many ways divorce, a relationship with the mistress, continued behavior, and false sense of safety from sin by thinking everything is ok.

Look, as i have said before, i dont care what happens to me! Its the wife i care about. A bit late i know but i do care!

1. Priests can often be misused. Here, we have a situation where the OPs drama has taken up the time of 4 priests. The OP might not need to be a EMHC if the priests were freed from this type of “priest shopping”.

Priests dont mind helping those in need. The only reason i saw 4 was because some on here were convinced that the priest was wrong in his advice so i sought out another. Plus i wanted to see a priest that didnt know me to see what his advice was.

1. The OP professes repentance but insists on reliving it right under his wife’s nose in her house randomly typing to us on the internet about it, continuing the lie and telling us that he has it all covered because he is so clever and she will never find out. Etc. That is disrespectful to his wife and is a continuation of the disrespect he showed when he committed these horrible sins.

I ‘relive’ it as you put it because people like you continually post the same thing over and over and over!! Accept what i have written and move on! Go live your own life and not mine!!

**You definitely seem very angry and annoyed in your posts with a very unhelpful manner and an obvious chip on your shoulder. If you dont like what is written by me then i suggest you keep to your word and dont check in to this thread anymore!

God bless you**

 

[LongingSoul]

There are other signs that the OP is trying to avoid the painful and courageous work of redress. Looking back over his other thread on adultery that was supposedly the twin sisters drama… it seems that for the two months of that thread over the January and February, where he was intensely involved in helping his sister with her adultery problem… he was also indulging in his own illicit affair committing adultery at the very same time!

I’m assuming here that because his twin sister and he are so close as to talk about their sexual activity… that she also knew about his own simultaneous illicit sexual escapades with an also married partner in a bad marriage. The both of you have been in 30 year marriages and both supposedly weren’t feeling the love with your spouses. Why not tell the truth the first time so that people could respond based on all the facts?? I noticed that I responded to that original thread in good faith not suspecting that anyone would need such deception with the anonymity of the internet. So many lies, deceptions, smoke and mirrors. What is actually true here? What are the current lies that are causing posters to respond in good faith based on your supposed truth… only to have you brush them away like annoying insects who ‘don’t know you’? It’s ridiculous to accuse people of not knowing you when you have deliberately set out to deceive.

I’m so not a fan.

 

[ajecphotos]

There are other signs that the OP is trying to avoid the painful and courageous work of redress. Looking back over his other thread on adultery that was supposedly the twin sisters drama… it seems that for the two months of that thread over the January and February, where he was intensely involved in helping his sister with her adultery problem… he was also indulging in his own illicit affair committing adultery at the very same time!

**That is correct. I was trying to help my sister while ignoring what was happening in my life. I blanked what i was doing out of my mind. I guess i was weak. I am more than willing to tell all to my wife but obviously now is not the right time as God has spoken, as far as i am concerned, and his advice, through the confessors i sought is very important to me. I need to get my marriage back on track and i believe this is what God is telling me to do before i may be instructed by him to tell her all. **

I’m assuming here that because his twin sister and he are so close as to talk about their sexual activity… that she also knew about his own simultaneous illicit sexual escapades with an also married partner in a bad marriage. The both of you have been in 30 year marriages and both supposedly weren’t feeling the love with your spouses. Why not tell the truth the first time so that people could respond based on all the facts?? I noticed that I responded to that original thread in good faith not suspecting that anyone would need such deception with the anonymity of the internet. So many lies, deceptions, smoke and mirrors. What is actually true here? What are the current lies that are causing posters to respond in good faith based on your supposed truth… only to have you brush them away like annoying insects who ‘don’t know you’? It’s ridiculous to accuse people of not knowing you when you have deliberately set out to deceive.

I’m so not a fan.

**Look, what happened with my sister happened. It just so happens that i was in the middle of a relationship too but not as intense as my sisters. It was more or less a very strong friendship at that time. It escalated as you now know. I have told the truth on here. No reason to lie. My sister is going through a divorce now. I dont want to go down that route.

Some people have responded in good faith others have certainly not!

No deception has come from me i can tell you that! What you want to believe is entirely up to you all**

 

[achingheart]

As a betrayed Wife, I tell you that your wife has the right to know, as well as the other woman’s husband and your children. Your wife needs to know that her so called friend is no friend at all. She needs to keep her away from herself and you, if she wants to stay married to you. My guess is the priest said don’t tell her to protect her but priests are only human too and they commit sins, too. You really need to do what is right. You asked God for forgiveness but the other offended party (your wife) has not been asked if she wants to forgive you because she is clueless… You had sex with this woman in your own home, with your wife and daughter in the same house. And you believe this woman is clean and will not eventually tell your wife, either out of spite or out of guilt?

 

[ajecphotos]

As a betrayed Wife, I tell you that your wife has the right to know, as well as the other woman’s husband and your children. Your wife needs to know that her so called friend is no friend at all. She needs to keep her away from herself and you, if she wants to stay married to you. My guess is the priest said don’t tell her to protect her but priests are only human too and they commit sins, too. You really need to do what is right. You asked God for forgiveness but the other offended party (your wife) has not been asked if she wants to forgive you because she is clueless… You had sex with this woman in your own home, with your wife and daughter in the same house. And you believe this woman is clean and will not eventually tell your wife, either out of spite or out of guilt?

Thank you for your post.

Well, one day i may tell the wife. For now, that is not going to happen. I have been given advice in confession of which i am acting on.

I need to get the marriage back to where it should be and as i have said before, if the wife was told now we would not have a marriage! It would definitely end forever. Why? Because i know my wife and i also know that God doesnt want me to tell her now. When and if that time comes then that will be the ‘right’ time. I know as Gods will, will be done!

I know this other woman very well indeed. You lot dont. You dont know my wife. I do. Its easy to say ‘do this’ or ‘do that’. But when you dont know the people involved then that can be dangerous talk!

Time is a great healer and time will tell what happens. There is one thing i can say that will never change, and that is my unfailing trust in God.

 

[whm]

As a betrayed Wife, I tell you that your wife has the right to know, as well as the other woman’s husband and your children. Your wife needs to know that her so called friend is no friend at all. She needs to keep her away from herself and you, if she wants to stay married to you. My guess is the priest said don’t tell her to protect her but priests are only human too and they commit sins, too. You really need to do what is right. You asked God for forgiveness but the other offended party (your wife) has not been asked if she wants to forgive you because she is clueless… You had sex with this woman in your own home, with your wife and daughter in the same house. And you believe this woman is clean and will not eventually tell your wife, either out of spite or out of guilt?

Or he is trolling…

 

[ajecphotos]

Or he is trolling…

Yea, that would be worth all this wouldn’t it!

I actually feel like that adulteress that was just about to get stoned when Jesus said that he who is without sin cast the first stone! Everyone wants my blood!! Ok, i deserve it i know.

 

[Maine52]

Yea, that would be worth all this wouldn’t it!

I actually feel like that adulteress that was just about to get stoned when Jesus said that he who is without sin cast the first stone! Everyone wants my blood!! Ok, i deserve it i know.

Excuse me?!

You said yourself you are grateful for the people here and have thanked many of them for their concern for you. No one wants to throw stones. All we’re saying is you need to tell your wife what you did. Comparing anyone on this thread to those wanting to stone the adulteress woman in the Bible is not appropriate in the least!

 

[achingheart]

Thank you for your post.

Well, one day i may tell the wife. For now, that is not going to happen. I have been given advice in confession of which i am acting on.

I need to get the marriage back to where it should be and as i have said before, if the wife was told now we would not have a marriage! It would definitely end forever. Why? Because i know my wife and i also know that God doesnt want me to tell her now. When and if that time comes then that will be the ‘right’ time. I know as Gods will, will be done!

I know this other woman very well indeed. You lot dont. You dont know my wife. I do. Its easy to say ‘do this’ or ‘do that’. But when you dont know the people involved then that can be dangerous talk!

Time is a great healer and time will tell what happens. There is one thing i can say that will never change, and that is my unfailing trust in God.

You want to get your marriage back but want to do it based on deceit and lies. Evil as well as adultery thrives in the darkness. God shed his blood for the forgiveness of our sins and brought light. Keeping your wife in the dark about your weakness, does not benefit her. Let her choose if she wants to forgive you. Every adulterer says that their case is different that they KNOW the other woman/man best and they are incapable of doing any harm, well, I have my doubts on that based on their adulterous actions.That they know their wife/husband can’t handle the truth (won’t forgive and marriage will end). I am sorry but that is a very condescending idea. Your wife is a grown woman, she has the right to know who she is married to and what her so called best friend and husband did, so she can make an informed decision on who to keep in her life. My husband says the same thing, you don’t know, you don’t understand. Yes, I do know and I do understand, YOU were selfish, weak and you sinned. As a good follower of Christ, we need to shine light to our sins, ask for forgiveness not to be saved but because we have hurt our Lord with our actions, same way you have hurt your wife with you infidelity. She needs to be asked for forgiveness and you have to be willing to accept the consequences of your actions.

I am sorry to tell you no good marriage thrives on deception and lies. If you want a great happy marriage, she needs to KNOW everything about you, just like you need to know everything about her. I am Catholic, I believe in the Church and do believe in the value of priests/confessions but we must remember they can be wrong, too. Would you keep the truth form God? Well, no cause he can see it but you will from your wife because you can get away with it.

 

[ajecphotos]

Excuse me?!

You said yourself you are grateful for the people here and have thanked many of them for their concern for you. No one wants to throw stones. All we’re saying is you need to tell your wife what you did. Comparing anyone on this thread to those wanting to stone the adulteress woman in the Bible is not appropriate in the least!

Well, some peoples comments have been very much ‘below the belt’ accusing me of having a mental problem. Even having a Tumour!! Some have said some harsh things.

I am not on about the general advice and concerns of those wanting me to tell the wife or check for STDs. I welcome that advice even if it has been very repetitive. Its the sly remarks and what some people have said above in the thread that has hurt. This is why i said i felt like the Adulteress in the Gospel. I feel all alone!! Guess i deserve everything i get and i do honestly accept that anyway.

Cheers anyway

 

[Maine52]

Well, some peoples comments have been very much ‘below the belt’ accusing me of having a mental problem. Even having a Tumour!! Some have said some harsh things.

I am not on about the general advice and concerns of those wanting me to tell the wife or check for STDs. I welcome that advice even if it has been very repetitive. Its the sly remarks and what some people have said above in the thread that has hurt. This is why i said i felt like the Adulteress in the Gospel. I feel all alone!! Guess i deserve everything i get and i do honestly accept that anyway.

Cheers anyway

Well, with due respect, many people behave the way you are behaving when they have mental illnesses or brain tumors. It’s really not meant to be an insult. The people who said this are genuinely concerned.

You say you’re 100% sure you are disease free. That’s great. What would be lost by going to the doctor and getting tested (other than the $ used to pay the doc)? If you are indeed 100% disease free, the test will say so. Honestly I really do believe you when you say you know that your mistress has only been with you and her husband. But on the off chance that she is lying and on the off chance you have acquired an STD, you will know that too. And then you can take the necessary steps to restore your health and protect your wife.

 

[ajecphotos]

Well, with due respect, many people behave the way you are behaving when they have mental illnesses or brain tumors. It’s really not meant to be an insult. The people who said this are genuinely concerned.

Oh, i see. So Adultery is caused by mental illness and brain tumours?

You say you’re 100% sure you are disease free. That’s great. What would be lost by going to the doctor and getting tested (other than the $ used to pay the doc)? If you are indeed 100% disease free, the test will say so. Honestly I really do believe you when you say you know that your mistress has only been with you and her husband. But on the off chance that she is lying and on the off chance you have acquired an STD, you will know that too. And then you can take the necessary steps to restore your health and protect your wife.

I appreciate your comments but i really do know this woman very very well indeed.

 

[achingheart]

Well, with due respect, many people behave the way you are behaving when they have mental illnesses or brain tumors. It’s really not meant to be an insult. The people who said this are genuinely concerned.

You say you’re 100% sure you are disease free. That’s great. What would be lost by going to the doctor and getting tested (other than the $ used to pay the doc)? If you are indeed 100% disease free, the test will say so. Honestly I really do believe you when you say you know that your mistress has only been with you and her husband. But on the off chance that she is lying and on the off chance you have acquired an STD, you will know that too. And then you can take the necessary steps to restore your health and protect your wife.

Oh and on this note about the STD’s my husband caught HPV, from the oh so faithful other woman who had stopped having sex with her husband months before starting the affair with my husband. Oh, she was tested and she was clear, ummm then again there is no test for HPV except the one that cause cervical cancer. Then, it was maybe my husband is messing around, I’m gonna make him get tested, off course he comes back clean, again, supposed to be clean as there is no symptoms for HPV unless you develop warts and that doesn’t always happen… Then it was oh, I got drunk one night and was raped by an ex, I don’t even remember it happening… mmmm, faithful to her affair partner much? Many STDs are asymptomatic, and well things like HPV are common and cannot really be tested for… BUT better safe than sorry!

 

[Xantippe]

The OP said:

“Oh, i see. So Adultery is caused by mental illness and brain tumours?”

Sometimes it is.

You might be a little young for this, but dementia sometimes also causes odd sexual acting-out and disinhibition. I have a great-uncle where the first sign of his dementia was that he was suddenly very uninhibited about hitting on waitresses (right in front of his wife, too), to the point where nobody in the family wanted to go out to dinner with him anymore.

If you are having some sort of brain issue, you will be last to know as it will affect your ability to perceive reality and your awareness of your own mental state.

Why not talk to your doctor (explain at least a little about your recent shenanigans) and get a full mental health evaluation?

You have a lot of stuff you need to talk to your doctor about. Don’t try to be your own health care provider.