Am I being unreasonable to my wife?

[jrabs]

I don’t know. Why do men have to provide and protect their wives to the point of giving their lives. why can’t the wife do the same? How many women do you know are prepared to give their lives for their husbands?

You are kidding, right? I would gladly sacrifice myself for my family.

There are countless women here that would give up their life for their husbands.

You are asking your wife to also give a big part of herself in giving up practicing law. Different type of sacrifice but one none the less.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

whatevergirl;2862936:

Women have always worked outside of home for generations, I have no idea when this Traditional role playing came into being!
In reality there is no such thing, it is like you said a decision each married couple makes! ( if they can afford it)

Just slightly disingenuous, given what has become of society, don’t you think?

Oops, I think I see a dinosaur in the living room.

NOTHING replaces the mother’s role. I have to wonder why everyone seems to be arguing to the contrary. Did I blink and are men now able to bear children?

 

[Brenda_V]

The man, as I recall. He is also responsible for disciplining the children, according to St. Paul. (I Timothy 3, for example)

But there are also scriptures that show that the woman also has a role in this (Proverbs 31, for example) - if you take the Scriptures as a whole, it is the responsibility of both of the adults to make sure that things are orderly and peaceful at home. This means that neither of the adults should expect to be picked up after, as though he or she were a toddling child.

Yes, that is it. Proverbs 31 is the one I was thinking of. Knew it was one of the “wisdom books”.

I do believe someone in a previous post mentioned this as well.

Brenda V.

 

[jrabs]

NOTHING replaces the mother’s role. I have to wonder why everyone seems to be arguing to the contrary. Did I blink and are men now able to bear children?

I think you are arguing with yourself.
Which posts say that woman as mom’s are replaceable?
There have been seamstresses for hundreds of years, house keepers and maids, nannies wet nurses. Are these not working moms? Women toiled in the fields since time.

Did you not read the bible passages provided?
It may not be what you prefer, but it is not wrong or unbiblical, unCatholic.

 

[Patrick7]

Nordar,

With all due respect ( and I mean that).

I am not getting defensive or angry, its just puzzling to me why are asking such obvious questions?

You asked me why are my asking such questions.

well my answer to that is, why not ask such questions? I am not a theology expert and I don’t know everything about everything in the bible. which is why I am asking if the bible says anything about the responsibilities of the household and the children.

Yes both parents have a responsibilty but not all responsibilities are the same. Am I correct?

You then asked why does it have to be one persons responsibility to do one thing and why can’t it be shared. which is why I then answered you with the questions I did. These are things that has been set-up by God and you asking these kind of questions is a little confusing to me.. No one can tell you why God has set up thing the way he has. It appears God has delegated certain responsibilities to certain people and there is no way of getting around those responsibilities.

You might as well had asked, well why can’t men give birth and breast feed too?

 

[Em_in_FL]

Yes both parents have a responsibilty but not all responsibilities are the same. Am I correct?

You then asked why does it have to be one persons responsibility to do one thing and why can’t it be shared. which is why I then answered you with the questions I did. These are things that has been set-up by God and you asking these kind of questions is a little confusing to me.. It appears God has delegated certain responsibilities to certain people and there is no way of getting around those responsibilities.

You might as well had asked, well why can’t men give birth and breast feed too?

The bible does not dictate which jobs/chores/roles that the mother or father must play.
There are obviouly natural roles that are designed into our beings (like breastfeeding, giving birth, etc), but working outside the home is not dictated or defined in the bible or in the Catholic faith.

 

[Nordar]

Nordar,

I am not getting defensive or angry, its just puzzling to me why are asking such obvious questions?

You asked me why are my asking such questions.

well my answer to that is, why not ask such questions? I am not a theology expert and I don’t know everything about everything in the bible. which is why I am asking if the bible says anything about the responsibilities of the household and the children.

Yes both parents have a responsibilty but not all responsibilities are the same. Am I correct?

You then asked why does it have to be one persons

responsibility to do one thing and why can’t it be shared. which is why I then answered you with the questions I did. These are things that has been set-up by God and you asking these kind of questions is a little confusing to me.. It appears God has delegated certain responsibilities to certain people and there is no way of getting around those responsibilities.

You might as well had asked, well why can’t men give birth and breast feed too?

Your are not in the least bit confused, now are you Patrick?

jmcrae I :tiphat: to you!

 

[Em_in_FL]

Let deviate from the current subject abit.

**Biblically speaking, whose Godgiven responsibility is the care of the household? To make sure it is tidy and in order.
**
I am not talking if one has the ability to do it, since anyone can willing learn to keep a house in order.

I am asking whose responsibility is it?

Are there any scriptures on whose job this is?

Patrick.

You’re honestly looking for scriptural references to dictate who cleans the house???

 

[Patrick7]

You’re honestly looking for scriptural references to dictate who cleans the house???

No not just cleaning but the general management of the household. Since it seems to be that we are now saying that these traditional roles of women of women paying attention to their homes is a result of something in WW2.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

Nordar,

With all due respect ( and I mean that).

I am not getting defensive or angry, its just puzzling to me why are asking such obvious questions?

You asked me why are my asking such questions.

well my answer to that is, why not ask such questions? I am not a theology expert and I don’t know everything about everything in the bible. which is why I am asking if the bible says anything about the responsibilities of the household and the children.

Yes both parents have a responsibilty but not all responsibilities are the same. Am I correct?

You then asked why does it have to be one persons responsibility to do one thing and why can’t it be shared. which is why I then answered you with the questions I did. These are things that has been set-up by God and you asking these kind of questions is a little confusing to me.. No one can tell you why God has set up thing the way he has. It appears God has delegated certain responsibilities to certain people and there is no way of getting around those responsibilities.

You might as well had asked, well why can’t men give birth and breast feed too?

 

[jmcrae]

Nordar;2863049:

Just slightly disingenuous, given what has become of society, don’t you think?

This is not the fault of working mothers; rather, it is the fault of irresponsible and absentee fathers.

Oops, I think I see a dinosaur in the living room.

You want a dinosaur? I’d like to see us go back to the days when the home was over the shop or on the farm, and both parents worked from home.

NOTHING replaces the mother’s role. I have to wonder why everyone seems to be arguing to the contrary. Did I blink and are men now able to bear children?

Nothing replaces the father’s role, either - yet, we’ve been pulling fathers out of the home for more than 200 years, and relegating his parenting role to evenings and weekends.

 

[Em_in_FL]

No not just cleaning but the general management of the household.

These duties are NOT dictated by the the faith.

(OMGOSH he’s really asking this?!? )

 

[jmcrae]

Patrick;

This is something that should have been covered in your pre-Cana classes, before you got married.

Catholic couples don’t look to the Bible to see how to divide up the household chores - they look to each other. They make decisions together about how to manage their home, that suit their own personalities and gifts - maybe they will decide that the man does the outdoor work and the woman does the indoor work, or they might decide that they alternate turns making dinner, or that they will have a maid come in once a week to vacuum and dust, and designate a certain hour of the day for tidying up each day - perhaps the hour when they get home from work, while also getting the supper ready - laying the table for supper might be part of an over-all tidy-up routine for them.

 

[duskyjewel]

It came about after World War II, when they were trying to get women out of the work force in order to provide jobs for returning war veterans.

Prior to that, both women and men were expected to work both at home and in the marketplace. Pope Leo XIII said in Rerum Novarum that women should take jobs suited to their physical frame, so as not to stress the reproductive system too much, rather than factory work or farm labour. The fact that he mentioned it like that means that women were certainly expected to participate in the work force, and that the physical inappropriateness of some women’s jobs was causing him concern for their safety and the safety of their children.

You might want to go back just a bit further into history in your reading. Victorian women were protesting their lack of educational and career opportunities outside the home a couple generations earlier. They were also protesting being locked into the role of “angel of the hearth” or homemaker. They were the ones who got universities and graduate schools opened to women.

Of course, this has only ever been an upper and sometimes middle class issue. Poor women, both urban and rural, women of color (until recently, synonymous with poor in America), and slave women ALWAYS worked outside their homes, either because they were forced to or because they had to help their husbands provide for the family.

Post WWII women actually had many opportunities and a fairly free choice of what to do with their lives. Go read, actually read The Feminine Mystique by Betty Freidan. The thing that kept striking me over and over about that book was how the women made all their own choices, and how freely. They didn’t like how those choices turned out, so they started blaming men for it, but they made free choices. They could have chosen differently. We now know that Friedan was a huge fraud who never actually did the job of housewife. She was a communist organizer who constantly neglected her family and left her husband to do all the work. She repaid him later in life by divorcing him and falsely accusing him of abuse. But even before I knew any of that, I thought TFM was one of the worst-crafted pieces of social propaganda ever created. How THAT thing started a revolution, I will never understand.

Now, back to the topic at hand…

 

[dessert]

Here is another thread on feminism

http//forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=191925&goto=newpost

can’t quite get this go to True feminism,
and originally feminism was spelled with a small f and later instituted into a large F

 

[jmcrae]

Here is another thread on feminism

http//forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=191925&goto=newpost

can’t quite get this go to True feminism,
and originally feminism was spelled with a small f and later instituted into a large F

Feminism is nothing more nor less than the idea that Genesis 1:27 is true - that women are human beings, created in the image and likeness of God, of equal to men in dignity and worth.

 

[nobeerinheaven]

OP, you are being perfectly reasonable. I tell my wife the exact same thing about work - that if she wants to do something non-domestic with her time, she should be involved in charity work or other selfless occupations. If you are a good Catholic with respect to contraception, it will be hard for her to maintain a career anyway.

 

[dessert]

Feminism is nothing more nor less than the idea that Genesis 1:27 is true - that women are human beings, created in the image and likeness of God, of equal to men in dignity and worth.

The word feminism is from 1851 but meant at first “State of being feminine”

And then to a sense of “advocacy of women’s rights” in 1895.

Feminist sterotypical word in 1894.

 

[dessert]

Nordar,

With all due respect ( and I mean that).

I am not getting defensive or angry, its just puzzling to me why are asking such obvious questions?

You asked me why are my asking such questions.

well my answer to that is, why not ask such questions? I am not a theology expert and I don’t know everything about everything in the bible. which is why I am asking if the bible says anything about the responsibilities of the household and the children.

Yes both parents have a responsibilty but not all responsibilities are the same. Am I correct?

You then asked why does it have to be one persons responsibility to do one thing and why can’t it be shared. which is why I then answered you with the questions I did. These are things that has been set-up by God and you asking these kind of questions is a little confusing to me.. No one can tell you why God has set up thing the way he has. It appears God has delegated certain responsibilities to certain people and there is no way of getting around those responsibilities.

You might as well had asked, well why can’t men give birth and breast feed too?

Actually men can bottle feed the baby with the breast milk from the bottle which the mommy pumped which is better for the baby.

You should be in there when she gives birth, I hope you will, do you plan to?

 

[duskyjewel]

OP, you are being perfectly reasonable. I tell my wife the exact same thing about work - that if she wants to do something non-domestic with her time, she should be involved in charity work or other selfless occupations. If you are a good Catholic with respect to contraception, it will be hard for her to maintain a career anyway.

You know, I am a stay-at-home mom, but that was a decision DH and I made together. He would never “tell” me what I am to do, as if he were a master and I a slave. And neither would I do that to him. He was just saying to me last night, he has had discussions with two different women at work about how their boyfriends won’t “let” them do certain things. He totally does not understand the mindset, either of the men who think they have the right to dictate to their women, or of the women who sit there and allow the men to dictate their lives. He knows that if he ever tried to treat me that way, it would go over like a lead balloon. Being the head of his household does not mean he lords over any of us. And he is very much the head of the family, and I respect and treat him as such.

Your last comment about “being a good Catholic with regard to contraception” is offensive for a couple of reasons. Being a good Catholic does not have to mean having as many children as are physically possible. And you are furthering the biased idea that NFP means not controlling one’s fertility. There are people who prevent pregnancy for years at a time with NFP. They are using their God-given brains to limit their fertility in a way that corresponds with Church teaching and leaves the possibilities open to God’s will.