Annulment is a Painful Process

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rcwitness said:
I tried asking before, can someone be accepted by the tribunal without speaking to their pastor and having his support?
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Yes, certainly, a person’s petition can be accepted but some tribunals expect that the person will have the assistance of a priest/deacon/otherwise trained layperson.

Dan
 
Good luck with your program. You must be excited Easter is so near. How many do you have in your RCIA? 🤣
 
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Ness17 said:
At this point, however, we are considering not attending mass until we have been approved. After all, the Eucharist is the focal point of the mass. People have noticed us staying in our seat these past few months, and it causes us to feel chastised for trying to do right. Would not Christ open his arms and welcome us no matter, with our only need to confess it to Him and be forgiven. This whole ordeal has been very painful.
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Please do not stay home from Mass. I had to refrain from communion for 6 months when I returned to the Church, so I know you think you feel people watching you.

But trust me, they are NOT judging you. If anything, they are judging themselves. FAR TOO MANY people receive communion on Sunday who should not be. By sitting in the pew and not receiving, you are setting a shining example. You are a heroic witness.

Also, while it is technically correct to say “the Eucharist is the focal point of the mass,” it does not mean that receiving communion is the focal point of the Mass, because it isn’t. The focal point of the mass is really the Sacrifice at the Altar.

We are called to attend mass every Sunday to worship God and witness the Sacrifice of the Altar. But we are only “called” to receive communion once a year.

NOTE: we are ENCOURAGED & INVITED to receive communion weekly/daily, if not in a state of sin, but we are only required to receive communion once a year.

Another example is my mother: she is embarrassed for whatever reason to attend confession. So she refrains from Communion ever week because she hasn’t gone to confession. All she needs to do is go to confession and kneel behind the screen… but for whatever reason, she’s afraid to do so. So we refrains from communion (I’m trying to help her so she goes, but that’s a different topic).

BTW - this is why I’m a huge proponent of restoring the communion fast to 3 hours instead of 1 hour. That way, people who cannot receive communion and rest easy knowing that people who refrain from Communion are not doing so because of sin.

God bless!
 
All Sacramental marriages are valid. Not all valid marriages are Sacramental, some are natural.
 
I heard a 1,200 year old Mesopatamian abacus was used to calculate that. ✝️
 
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If you believe you ever received communion while knowing that you were not in a state of grace (in mortal sin), consider taking that to confession. Through confession, God might give you the grace to get you through this time.
 
There’s no need to presume that. So, why give the advice? In any event, absolution may not be offered until the question of an irregular union is resolved.
 
I think her point is that a marriage can’t be sacramental unless it’s valid.

We often think of a “sacramental” marriage as meaning it happened in Church. Such is not the case. It’s sacramental because it’s valid and between two baptized Christians. It may have been celebrated in the Church but it could just as easily be two non-Catholics who met all the requirements for a valid marriage and exchanged vows on a beach, at city hall, or jumping out of a plane. If they had no impediments, were fully consenting, meant it to be open to life, faithful and until death, it would be valid and, therefor, sacramental.
 
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To Ness 17 my heart goes out to you. You probably married to your current husband of 40 years longer than you were with your first spouses. Not sure how you were able to convert with the annulment but my guess is they assumed you were married for twenty years at that point so it was your only marriage. I cannot imagine that God is not looking at your marriage now of 40 years and would not bless it. I pray anyway.

My views our from someone trying now to convert to the Catholic Church. Therefore they may not be shared by all some of the posters. Some of the responses here have been warm and heartfelt and others have been very unsympathic.

All I keep thinking is that you have been married 40 years. You were not a Catholic from your post during your first or second marriage and now you are the ones bringing it to their attention out of honesty and a matter of conscience. Many people may have said nothing but you rose to the occasion and brought it to the Church. God sees all things.

I would attend Mass for that very reason. Not only for your own spirituality but to thank God for all things.

My current story is I am trying to convert. I was stuck in the Jehovah Witness organization. I had an abusive first marriage and now am trying to remarry. The Catholic Church I am attending has been very merciful with me and is trying to assist me now. I have been attending the Church for nine months and I was scared to death to go speak to the priest. I thought the Church will never accept me being a divorced women and now remarrying. I spoke to my fiancée and actually told him I was going to start looking for another church. He told me I could do what I like but I need to stop running from my problems and assuming things. I also posted my story on this forum. I am so glad I listened to both my fiancée and the posters who lovingly told me to speak to our priest. So far the deacon and priest have been nothing but welcoming and want to help me come into the Church. They have not made me feel ashamed in anyway and neither should anyone make you feel ashamed. I think the Pope stresses mercy because no one knows what I have been through or others. I think for the Catholic Faith to grow less judgment is needed. These matters are for the clergy and God to determine. I pray everything goes well for you and your husband!!!
 
Your story is a good illustration of why individual cases should be discussed with one’s priest, deacon, canon lawyer etc. There are many people on the Internet who are judgmental or simply give wrong information, especially on a subject like a marital situation which is highly individualized.
 
Everyone has encouraged her to not have sexual relations and go to Mass. She is in the process of the tribunal looking at her case.

Im willing to bet that she has spoken to her pastor.

This seems to be the most common advice repeated on CAF! Not that I disagree. But why are Catholics not speaking with them? Are they unapproachable? Are Catholics afraid? Are priests able to guide their flock in understanding?

I dont know.
 
The poster to whom I replied said she was initially afraid, which seems to often be the case on threads posted about this type of subject.
 
People see their priests as overworked, they have sometimes been barked at by staff/volunteer leaders or they hear tale of when their neighbor’s grandmother’s aunt’s hairdresser’s brother was told blah blah by old Father Thus and such.
 
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