Any one else find it hard to meet a good Catholic woman to marry?

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SPONP4US

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I’m in my 30s newly re-converted cradle Catholic who now has his life together and trying to live as a good Catholic and want to make up for the many years I’ve lost on the road to salvation.

I have been single for five years now and returned to faith over a year ago and living chastely and working on myself and my realationship with God and others. All good so far. However I am new to Dating as a Catholic.

As a side note, dating was never easy when previously, but dating as a Catholic is 10 million times more … Tricky 🙂 shall we say?

Actually it’s a minefield I think.

What’s worse is that being Catholic isn’t very popular at all in this day and age unfortunately, and I’d say 90% of women I come across at any one time are Single Mother’s (even women alot younger than me) , Non believers and atheist … Or both. Even the 10% that aren’t I cannot seem to meet or have an occasion to interact and become freids with let alone reach the stage of courtship.

Anyone else struggling? Or can anyone with add anything helpful? I’m sure there are many women too kind of in this situation so I’m putting this out there for anyone to comment on.

Oh and I just want to add these as I know from past conversations with people who just don’t understand (either born in another time, or already married and where lucky to meet someone early in life) will likely say and Ivye heard it already but it’s not helpful I’m afraid to say.

1 Yes I have prayed, I am praying, you can pray for me (please and thank you) 🙂 but God says “No Go and sort that out for yourself” sometimes … And I have a feeling this is one of those times, God had said yes and given me many good things and I’m not doubting his mercy, his timing or his goodness. I juts thing it’s on me and I have no idea how to do it.

2 I am happy being single and trusting in the lord’s timing but 5 years single is proof enough I don’t think I can take another five years let alone be single all my life. My Dad died last year and I’m sad he will never get to see my children and my mother is I’ll and I feel the same. I would make a great Dad and Husband and I want to be those things someday (soon).

3 I have been asked by many a sweet old lady at Church “Would you ever join the seminary? I can see you as a Seminarian” e.t.c and my answer - Yes I’ve thought, Yes I’d make a great priest and I’d love to be a confessor and would look great in a black shirt and dog collar) But I am NOT called to a religious or priestly life 🙂 like Never ever ever going to happen. Never!

Now that is cleared up - any (name removed by moderator)ut appreciated. :)👍
 
SPONP4US said:
I’m in my 30s newly re-converted cradle Catholic who now has his life together and trying to live as a good Catholic and want to make up for the many years I’ve lost on the road to salvation.

I have been single for five years now and returned to faith over a year ago and living chastely and working on myself and my realationship with God and others. All good so far. However I am new to Dating as a Catholic.
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Are you free to marry in the Church? If not, get that taken care of first. If you married outside the Church, that is called a “defect of form” or “lack of form” declaration, strictly speaking, not even an annulment, and should be fairly easy to get.

Secondly, look into CatholicMatch ( www.catholicmatch.com ). There is a nominal monthly fee. I wish there had been something like this back when I was in my 20s and 30s. If you live in or near a large city with a fairly high percentage of Catholics, you will find more women than you’d know what to do with.

I know the little old ladies at Mass mean well, but don’t allow yourself to be “railroaded” into considering a priestly vocation unless you discern this in yourself first. I used to run into this myself.
 
Maybe you need to change where you hang out of all you meet are atheistic single mothers 🙂

But seriously, check with your diocese if they have any singles and young adult groups like Theology On Tap, or get involved in a charity work.

Or you could try a meet-up type group for your hobbies, like for instance if you enjoy hiking or movie nights or whatever.

Good luck🤞🏻
 
SPONP4US said:
As a side note, dating was never easy when previously, but dating as a Catholic is 10 million times more … Tricky 🙂 shall we say?

Actually it’s a minefield I think.
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I actually found it generally easier to date as a Catholic than a secular person, from the perspective of expectations and end goals. I still met a bunch of frogs, but it didn’t take much time to eliminate them from the dating pool.
SPONP4US said:
90% of women I come across at any one time are Single Mother’s (even women alot younger than me) , Non believers and atheist … Or both. Even the 10% that aren’t I cannot seem to meet or have an occasion to interact and become freids with let alone reach the stage of courtship.
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In your 30s I wouldn’t rule out those who are divorced, but free to marry, those with children, those with pasts that aren’t Catholic.

If you are open to online dating, I think that’s where you can find like minded Catholics. I met my husband on Ave Maria.

I dated a LOT before I became Catholic (at age 25) and then dated from about 25-28 among Catholic young adults I met through Church, then for about 10 years I didn’t really date much at all. Some of that was because I was busy-- graduate school-- some because I wasn’t finding what I was looking for. For the last 3 of those 10 years, I was on Ave Maria Singles-- I met about 7 or 8 guys during those 3 years, one of whom is now my husband of 14 years. Only one of the men I met was local to my city, the rest were around the country. I was open to meeting and dating globally. My husband lived about 1800 miles from me in another state.

I was 38 and my husband 42 when we married. We’ve been married just over 14 years. Dated 2 years before marrying.
 
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Not sure how to ask, but what do you consider a good catholic woman? What characteristics are you seeking?
 
One thing to remember is that most women, Catholic or not, are attracted to confident, happy men who can make them laugh. I know nothing about you, but try to keep a positive attitude and get those attributes!
 
When my husband and I met he was agnostic and I was a lazy, semi-lapsed Catholic. We brought each other back to the faith. Maybe you’re destined to do the same for someone else.
 
Try focusing on this prayer. God bless you on your journey.

Prayer for a Spouse

O Jesus, give me the light of Your grace, that I may
decide wisely concerning the woman who is to be
my wife. May our mutual love bind us so closely, that
our future home may ever be most like Your own
at Nazareth.

O Mary Immaculate, direct me to the woman with whom
I can best cooperate in doing God’s Holy Will, with whom
I can live in peace, love, and harmony in this life, and attain
eternal joys in the next. Through Christ Our Lord, Amen.
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SPONP4US said:
I’m in my 30s newly re-converted cradle Catholic who now has his life together and trying to live as a good Catholic and want to make up for the many years I’ve lost on the road to salvation.

I have been single for five years now and returned to faith over a year ago and living chastely and working on myself and my realationship with God and others.
…

What’s worse is that being Catholic isn’t very popular at all in this day and age unfortunately, and I’d say 90% of women I come across at any one time are Single Mother’s (even women alot younger than me)
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I don’t know if your re-conversion is a repentance of a wild sexual past, but if you’ve had a wild sexual past yourself, don’t look down upon those who also have had that similar past.
 
Im having the same sort of feeling, and Im almost just going to be 21 lol. Have you tried looking at mass in the church you go to? I am praying about this girl I see at my sunday mass and her parents are very devout to the faith. Although Ive been advised to wait and let God prepare me for whatever he shall please because in the end he is the deciding factor(please anyone reading this pray for me!)

And in todays society it is hard to find woman who are devout in the Catholic faith, not impossible Im sure. Also as one of the posters stated, why exclude single mothers?
My Mom was a single mother with two kids(im the oldest) got an annulment and married my step dad. They are very devoted to the church and my step dad is great to have around im super thankful for him!

So maybe your called to take that responsiblity of a single mother who needs a strong priest of the household. Afterall thats the purpose of a husband, to love and guide their family towards heaven. Just my two cents 🙂 im kind of in the same shoe and just a bit younger xP
 
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