Any one else find it hard to meet a good Catholic woman to marry?

[SPONP4US]

That’s a good point actually yes.

 

[blackforest]

Sure I would but its hard to know whether they are divorced, made a mistake (sex before marriage) and returned to the Church, or whether there was a Father to the child working late. Its not something you can just ask in polite conversation if you met them on the street, and even more so in the unlikely event they where in Church (like in the second instance).

Of course not. That’s the purpose of dating - to get to know people in the right context. And by the way, I certainly wouldn’t ask any of these questions on the first date . . . or the first few dates, for that matter.

You’ll get a Feeling about somebody that we married folks know well but may have a hard time describing. Somebody you met in church and is a faithful Catholic will likely have sought forgiveness. From there, if she can get over her past, so can you.

 

[Anicette]

I see few chances of finding the woman that matches your narrow criterias but just adress the women in the streets. It seems improductive and can be seen as harashment.

If online dating, maybe try to let know to your trust friends or relatives that you sercah women of theses criterias and ask they introduce to someone?

 

[yankeesouth]

Here is some advice from a Traditional Catholic woman…

How To Find A Traditional Catholic Woman | Traditional Catholic Femininity 🌹🙏🌹

 

[Anicette]

I completely agree, there is much more women in the Church than men. And as a consequence much more women available than men!

Do the OP search these women in the right places?
The hardest step is to find them and after initiate a contact.

 

[Anicette]

I agree with the link except maybe that as the OP is from UK meeting a woman outside of an abortion clinic is not always possible. But maybe from pro life, or bioetical group?

 

[Rozellelily]

I think individual circumstances vary like in some cases a woman might be a single mum because her husband sadly passed away or was unfaithful and left the family (or perhaps she had the child when younger but then grew more mature )but then in other instances there are some women who have children with multiple fathers.

It’s not necessarily their “fault” because they may have been raised also with absent fathers so they repeat certain patterns with men but at the same that doesn’t necessarily mean that a guy (like Op) will feel they are a match for him.

It is a no small ask to request a man to take responsibility for another mans child (in these circumstances).
Some men do,and that’s great but I don’t feel a man is doing anything wrong either if they choose not to.

Some people are very accepting of divorce culture,individual ivf,single parent,step parents,same sex parents etc but I don’t think this is so good for society.

Naturally peoples circumstances will vary and that’s not to judge them.

In honesty though,there are some women who “don’t know themselves” and fall in with the wrong types of men and then have numerous children etc.

Personally I believe the OP should ideally keep an open mind if a woman says she has a child and not presume the above but get to know her circumstances.

 

[Norseman82]

what things? Beards or single mothers?

I was referring to the lack of religious belief.

 

[Norseman82]

I completely agree, there is much more women in the Church than men. And as a consequence much more women available than men!

I believe the blogger is also in the UK as well.

 

[Norseman82]

I didn’t mean to imply otherwise. I personally know people, men and women, in that age range who have very, very poor answers to the question “Why have you never been married” so I think the question is valid. I think your answer is fine and shows no warning signs. The question of why someone at 40 is unmarried is equally valid for men and women. I originally singled out women because the OP is a man and thus would be seeking women. If the OP was a woman I would suggest she also at some point bring up the topic if she meets a 40 year old never-married man.

Yeah, I just always find the question is never delivered in a non-awkward or patronizing way. Even when asked lightheartedly it’s always kind of a downer. Like, what would be a good answer? I don’t think there is one.

Well, the next time someone asks a rude question like that to me, I’ll have the following in my “arsenal”:

1. I can just point out that it’s an extremely rude question.
2. If the other person is also single (and still in childbearing years), I can ask one of two questions:
   a) “I could ask YOU the same question”
   b) “A - are you a virgin, B - is that an offer?”
3. If it is an older person, I could ask “Is there someone you have in mind looking for a practicing Catholic husband - decent looking, still a virgin, and still young enough to bear children?”
4. If it is a parent of a woman in a same-sex relationship, I could say “Well, maybe if parents raised their daughters to like men instead of women…”

For anyone that may think what I say is obnoxious, please bear in mind that when dealing with rude people, sometimes the object is to simply SHUT THEM UP so THEY stop being obnoxious.

 

[Anicette]

I believe the blogger is also in the UK as well.

I don’t think it change the sex ratio of the Church…

On second thoughts, as the Catholicism is largely feed by immigration in UK, maybe there is more men than is some others western countries…

 

[Willing_Spirit]

If 10% of the single women you encounter are devout practicing Catholics, that’s not really a bad finding rate. The trouble seems to be with the actual “courting”.

The environment in which you find people can have a great impact on how successful you will be. I think the main reason “finding” someone as you get older is harder is just because you are no longer forced to engage with a bunch of people your age the way you are in school. It’s not likely that some romantic comedy moment is going to happen at the grocery store. That is why getting involved in Church activities (adult retreats, cathecesis groups, charity/volunteer events) are the best option.

If you don’t have time for those kind of things or just don’t see the people you are interested in there, you could still try initiating conversations in day to day life, it’s just less likely people will want to stop and talk. Courting starts with the same approach as befriending anyone.

Maybe you could sit near someone you are interested in at Mass one day and you’ll at least have the interaction of giving peace. Maybe after mass you think of something kind to say like, “You sing really nicely”. Maybe based on social cues you get into a conversation, or maybe you just leave it at that having made a good enough first impression and see if she approaches you the next time she sees you.

Be confident, but not arrogant. Don’t push for a conversation or you’ll turn what could have been just a nice compliment into a bad impression.

 

[dochawk]

Yes, I’ve been to Reno. What’s done in Reno stays in Reno.

hey, wait a minute. our Visitor Authority litigates over variations on the slogan!

 

[SPONP4US]

That’s nice of you to say, although I wouldn’t go buying a wedding hat just yet if I where you … the trail has already gone cold