Anyone feel like they won't ever get married?

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Morwenna said:
:newidea: AZgirl, your post inspired me!

What if a bunch of us “still waiting” singles got together (virtually, of course ;)) and agreed to pray for each other individually?

Here’s my list so far:

Harmony1988
beckers
ladylinguist
Norseman82
chevalier
Gisella
Sierrah
JustinL
Felicity in TX
azgirl
Cosmo23
lampstand
Morwenna

Starting tonight, I am going to try to pray either the Rosary or the Divine Mercy each evening, and I will include each of us individually by (screen)name 🙂

I will pray that God will make each of us ready for our future spouse (and them ready for us), lead us to each other, and to pour out grace upon us to give us strength and hope while we’re waiting. :heaven:

Anyone want to join me in praying for these intentions? Maybe we could get a regular prayer thread going, or we could just continue to post here.

Who’s with me? :extrahappy:

:harp:
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Thanks I’ll take all the prayers I can get. 👍
 
all these internet catholic dating sites advertise free then you sign up and… you cant reply to anyone without a fee. But if you pay who knows if you’ll even meet anyone. If anyone wants to get to know me we can just talk on here I guess.
 
Cosmo23 said:
all these internet catholic dating sites advertise free then you sign up and… you cant reply to anyone without a fee. But if you pay who knows if you’ll even meet anyone. If anyone wants to get to know me we can just talk on here I guess.
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Yea I know, someone the other day pointed me to avemariasingles, I briefly glanced at it and I saw something about ‘low prices’ and I’m like yea yea. Though I guess it’s understandable, you don’t get anything for free, not even your spouse 😃
 
I’m somewhat open to the idea of AveMariaSingles but I’m just really worried that I won’t have the time to correspond with several people at once during this process. What if I end up being too busy in life to be able to spend my spare time at the computer writing emails to people with whom I don’t know a relationship will pan out? What if I end up liking someone, start to correspond with them, but they are also corresponding with other women and I get jealous by this? I’m worried that this will bring out a jealous and possessive side of me. I’m sorry, but are all of these legitimate concerns, and how do you mitigate them?
 
Lady_Bug said:
I’m somewhat open to the idea of AveMariaSingles but I’m just really worried that I won’t have the time to correspond with several people at once during this process. What if I end up being too busy in life to be able to spend my spare time at the computer writing emails to people with whom I don’t know a relationship will pan out? What if I end up liking someone, start to correspond with them, but they are also corresponding with other women and I get jealous by this? I’m worried that this will bring out a jealous and possessive side of me. I’m sorry, but are all of these legitimate concerns, and how do you mitigate them?
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That doesn’t happen that much. You start emailing someone you like, and after a few emails, move it to phone. THe sooner this is done the better, so you don’t “fill in the blanks” incorrectly about the person. Once on phone, you discern from there.

Your situation you pose is something that can happen no matter where you meet someone.
 
ok agapewolf. I’m glad you cleared that up for me, because it often drains the stamina out of me to engage in strictly electronic communication. To be painfully honest, it’s not my thing. But given that a devout practicing Catholic isn’t something you run into on an everyday basis, I’m starting to come to the realization that I can’t rule out a site like that. I used to but I’m afraid that if I adamantly rule something like that out, I might jinx myself, for lack of better term.
 
Here’s some perspective…

Before the internet, people use to just meet and start talking without typing. Thats my logic for getting real conversation started sooner… get things real as soon as possible.

However…
I think Catholic dating sites are a HIGHER standard than the usual means of meeting people.

You can completely filter anyone and not waste time.

There is a guy in my parish that just joined avemaria. Now that I see his profile, I can see if he is a true catholic or a cafeteria catholic. (Of course people can lie or exaggerate on the internet, but their passions do come through). I know some basics about this guy before even talking to him. Its extremely helpful, because the questions asked for the profile are pretty thorough regarding the faith. I have a common ground to start with before even talking to him.
 
I’m not using the internet for dating, I spend way too much time on the computer as it is, and during my programming assignments, those hours per day are even higher.
 
Harmony1988 said:
Excellent idea, I guess most of us forgot about prayer. I too will do the prayers, since you given us a great template for starting, I will use yours. Additionally, I will use a novena to Mother Mary.
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Sounds great, Harmony! :heaven:
Harmony1988 said:
What do you mean by prayer thread though?
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Something like the other ‘perpetual prayer’ threads that are kept active on an ongoing basis … check this post for a few examples:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=168274

If people expressed interest in doing this, I was thinking that we could ask permission to post a perpetual prayer thread for singles.

If not, that’s ok, too 🙂 I was just throwing the idea out there 🙂
 
Felicity_in_TX said:
This is a lovely idea! I will commit to join you in prayer daily! It will be good for me to not be so selfish by only praying for myself and my future spouse! :gopray2: :grouphug:
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Thank you for your kind words, Felicity, and also for your prayers! 🙂

:blessyou:
 
There is a part of me that thinks nothing good will ever happen in my life. Yet it is defeated most the time the hope that good things will happen to me, if I just keep up hope.

Now that I have found God and walking down the path of Catholicism, I have more than just stubborn hope, I have faith that God has good things planned for me.

Just not battling everything alone now helps greatly and I am growing more used to prayer.

Yet, there are times when it is tough, like out in public when you see husband and wife (with or without kids), holding hands and just having what I want to have. I wonder why it hasn’t happened for me yet, but I do think that I just may not be ready for it. Especially before I wasn’t ready for it in the eyes of the Church’s sacrament of marriage.

So, I just continue to hope and pray (now anyways) that I will have that someday, yet it will happen when it’s the right time. Being alone tough, I hope my vocation isn’t to be a priest or monk and I just didn’t understand/hear it 😃

Going through life alone… doesn’t sound that awesome.
 
ladylinguist said:
I definitely worry about this. Partly my fears lies in the fact that I simply don’t see any prospects. I don’t know any single, faithful Catholic men. If I could look around me and say “Well, I haven’t met the one yet, but look at all these good Catholic young men around me.” Unfortunately, I haven’t met even one Catholic single man since converting. They are all either a) taken or b) Catholic in name, but not practice. It doesn’t help that all my friends are married and starting families. It’s hard sometimes not to look around and say, “Well, where’s mine?”
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I am 39
overweight
loud and outgoing
steadfast in my unwillingness to date any of the following…

married men
gay men
lesbians
men with weird sexual kink (peeing, s/m, etc)
men not Catholic (Orthodox are ok)
etc.

I dated men through my church and found them to be not up to scratch. They DIDN’T practice the faith they professed. They wanted a Christian wife, but were unwilling to be Christian husbands. I was fed up and deeply troubled. My bio-clock was running out and I gained even more weight from the sorrow of knowing I’d never be a mom.

I got on match.com and found a devout Catholic man whom I’m nuts about. We’re considering marriage. I’m flabbergasted.

Just keep living your life and keep your feelers out. Be the best woman you can. God is not cruel, but your future husband might be a bit stubborn too and not doing what God wants him to do. This can make a delay.
 
Harmony1988 said:
I already said this, thanks for making me sound like a 15 year old kid.
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Don’t take it that way. I thought you were arguing against my point. You neither look like a kid, nor did I intend to make you to. 😉 Sorry at any rate.
 
NO … NEVER :eek:
I’m an eternal optimist, so even if I’m 100 and still single, I’ll tell myself that someday I’ll marry the man of my dreams. 😃
But seriously, I believe I will get married and that in the near future I will meet the man whom God has chosen for me. I feel a very strong calling to the vocation of marriage and so I couldn’t believe anything other than this. I know he’s out there!! ❤️
 
Jofantioch said:
I am 39
overweight
loud and outgoing
steadfast in my unwillingness to date any of the following…

married men
gay men
lesbians
men with weird sexual kink (peeing, s/m, etc)
men not Catholic (Orthodox are ok)
etc.

I dated men through my church and found them to be not up to scratch. They DIDN’T practice the faith they professed. They wanted a Christian wife, but were unwilling to be Christian husbands. I was fed up and deeply troubled. My bio-clock was running out and I gained even more weight from the sorrow of knowing I’d never be a mom.

I got on match.com and found a devout Catholic man whom I’m nuts about. We’re considering marriage. I’m flabbergasted.

Just keep living your life and keep your feelers out. Be the best woman you can. God is not cruel, but your future husband might be a bit stubborn too and not doing what God wants him to do. This can make a delay.
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I’m delighted you’ve found someone. I recently joined AveMariaSingles, so I’m hoping that perhaps I’ll meet a traditional, faithful man through that site. I’ve heard a few success stories, but we’ll see if it comes to anything for me. ~crosses fingers~ AveMariaSingles proves that they’re out there, somewhere, just not in any area I’ve ever lived in.
 
ladylinguist said:
I’m delighted you’ve found someone. I recently joined AveMariaSingles, so I’m hoping that perhaps I’ll meet a traditional, faithful man through that site. I’ve heard a few success stories, but we’ll see if it comes to anything for me. ~crosses fingers~ AveMariaSingles proves that they’re out there, somewhere, just not in any area I’ve ever lived in.
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If it’s the person you’re to marry, time and distance don’t matter much as it’s only temporary. I see it as time to get to know one another better. What’s a few months to a year compared to the rest of your life 😃
 
Because it’s harder to get to know someone in a realistic environment when you only see them on your occasional “dates”, and you can’t see them living their day-to-day life.

With this type of long-distance internet dating, I think it would be much easier to get a mistaken impression of someone, leading to pain frustration when you realize that the other person isn’t who you thought they were.
unixfudotnet said:
If it’s the person you’re to marry, time and distance don’t matter much as it’s only temporary. I see it as time to get to know one another better. What’s a few months to a year compared to the rest of your life 😃
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ack said:
Because it’s harder to get to know someone in a realistic environment when you only see them on your occasional “dates”, and you can’t see them living their day-to-day life.

With this type of long-distance internet dating, I think it would be much easier to get a mistaken impression of someone, leading to pain frustration when you realize that the other person isn’t who you thought they were.
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There is always risk. You could live with someone or date someone face to face for a long time and still not know them.

You have to take risk and have faith in things working out, otherwise nothing will ever change for you. That’s my view on life.
 
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