Are Catholic women required to be beautiful?

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Honestly to me femininity is about how we behave, not how we look. Things like dresses, long hair, perfume, etc… can ‘enhance’ femininity but ultimately femininity is all in how women conduct themselves as opposed to how men conduct themselves.

It can be something as simply as foregoing an argument (yes, I think women who are aggressive in their speech tend to come off as masculine), nurturing, letting others take the lead, humility, etc… I’m not saying that the opposite of this list is ‘masculine’ but that these tend to be things that when a women displays them comes off as very feminine.

I’m not saying women are weak. It takes true strength to step back and let others step forward.

And to me that’s what women should do/be. They raise their children, then step back to let their children fly.

They support their husbands and step back to let their husbands be men.

Maybe I’m not explaining well but to me our outward appearance are accidentals. The interior truths are what radiant beauty.

PS: I also think this society has this group pushing for women to only wear pants and etc. as a reaction to our culture that has masculinized women.
 
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somecanadian said:
It can be something as simply as foregoing an argument (yes, I think women who are aggressive in their speech tend to come off as masculine), nurturing, letting others take the lead, humility, etc… I’m not saying that the opposite of this list is ‘masculine’ but that these tend to be things that when a women displays them comes off as very feminine.
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This is still subjective though. I find a man to be very masculine when he is good with babies, is humble, backs down from an argument politely, supporting their wives etc. Men like this are often called gentlemen as well, so it’s not just me

I think these behaviors you listed are generally attractive behaviors which makes the person exhibiting them to naturally come across as feminine/masculine. As I’m typing this, I am realizing maybe the whole feminine/masculine thing in the Church is to simply to exhibit Christ-like behaviors and somehow you come across as feminine/masculine…because you’re truly yourself?
 
That’s entirely possible. I do think such qualities are attractive in men too BUT I love a man who can take charge of a situation (not in a rude way, but just is able to take control when needed) whereas I tend to back away from women who do the same. I have no idea if that’s a socially constructed response because I was raised in my social setting and I have no idea how would one test this across all societies. As it stands we can only really speculate.

For me, I just firmly believe feminine clothes/attire are accidentals to true femininity which is far more about how we conduct ourselves than how we dress ourselves.

Like, when I think about Mother Mary I don’t think of what she wore, I think of how she behaved and it is in her behavior that I see the ultimate in femininity (obedience, love, sacrifice).
 
Lea101 said:
Depends on how you define femininity. I personally struggle with defining it because it seems like any definition will exclude a good chunk of women and include a good chunk of men as well, and hence it will be a poor and inaccurate one.
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I think you bring up a good point. Without trying to sound cliché, when I was a kid, that was more of a time when “men were men” & women were women. Now, there’s been such a fluidity/instability/push for equality (however it can be defined) to be whatever anyone wants or chooses to be that no one knows what’s what anymore. :S
 
somecanadian said:
That’s entirely possible. I do think such qualities are attractive in men too BUT I love a man who can take charge of a situation (not in a rude way, but just is able to take control when needed) whereas I tend to back away from women who do the same. I have no idea if that’s a socially constructed response because I was raised in my social setting and I have no idea how would one test this across all societies. As it stands we can only really speculate
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A large proportion of what we think is m/f is socially constructed definitely. My idea of femininity would not be tainted by a screaming aggressive mother because I am from a different culture and Asian moms, as mentioned earlier are drill sergeants 😂 so yeah I don’t think there’s anything wrong or unnatural about a woman taking charge when needed if she’s capable to do so. I know some guy friends think it’s sexy although that’s so not the point, lol.

Because of the variations between personalities and culture and time periods…idk. I just think all of this talk about femininity and the attempt to define it to be a waste of time and I would prefer if the Church stay out of it well. That’s wishful thinking given the ‘crisis’ over the gender debate now though. I just think that we should just strive to avoid sin and embrace our differences. I don’t see the point in forcing myself to enjoy stereotypical feminine things (morally neutral) unless these things prevent me from sinning. I know some women who are less rude when they wear certain things that make them feel good and that’s completely fine for them. I get uncomfortable when people start forcing others to act a certain way when it’s not even a sin to do otherwise.
 
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I actually think the church needs to define it more aggressively because of the whole gender fluidity thing going on right now. There’s SO MUCH confusion in our current culture. People don’t even know what sex they are despite obvious scientific realities. This complete rejection of male and female flies in the face of what God created.

That said, if the Church said: Females must wear skirts… I would probably be like: Nah dude. I’m good.

LOL!

I’m not the most stereotypically female woman in the universe. 😛
 
Gender would be different from femininity/masculinity though. The latter is more about traits and characteristics while the former is biological fact (or the newer view:the state of feeling whether you belong to your biological sex). The Church can basically just say if you’re a male, you’re male forever no matter how uncomfortable you feel. Which is of course unfortunate and the Church empathizes, but your turmoil won’t change reality, really.
 
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Our true selves can grow to its greatest potential if we pursue holiness and practice the virtues in our everyday lives.

If we do that than we can be our authentic selves and in so doing cultivate our own “ flavor” of femininity. Same goes for men. How femininity is expressed in individual women will vary. After all we are not supposed to be clones of each other.

So it’s not looking like or acting in stereotypical ways. This makes it more complicated than it already is.
 
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I’ve always felt the stereotypical feminine things existed as stereotypes because the majority of women display those traits.

Like if you put a bunch of babies in a room the girls will naturally gravitate to dolls and the boys to trucks. No ‘conditioning’ required. Our brains are hardwired differently which leads to different behaviors.

I don’t know. Been years since I read the research on this stuff so I can only really share vague ideas of what I remember about it as opposed to more concrete ideas.
 
Probably but my point is that authentic femininity lies not in trying to live up to stereotypes but in following God.
 
somecanadian said:
I also think this society has this group pushing for women to only wear pants
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But pants have to actually fit me properly. Skirts and dresses see me in all my stages of pregnancy and postpartum and say, “I got you girl”

Down with pants! Well… not…don’t …
 
ROFL! I’m a pants girl because I just haven’t found skirts that are comfortable. But when I say pants I mean skinny tights and skinny jeans that basically are just paintings to cover the colour of the skin but little else. Haha.
 
Dolls have always scared me especially their faces. I liked to decapitate my dolls because their eyes creeped me out. My parents stopped buying me dolls but bought me stuffed animals instead which I liked better.

However I always liked model airplanes and train sets as well as toy kitchens and easy bake ovens when I was a child.
 
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You’re right that these stereotypes exist because on average it is true and hence expected. There are differences between the sexes on a variety of things. Although with any group studies, variances within are often larger than variances between.
somecanadian said:
Like if you put a bunch of babies in a room the girls will naturally gravitate to dolls and the boys to trucks. No ‘conditioning’ required. Our brains are hardwired differently which leads to different behaviors
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As a psych student I have read the studies you’re referring to, but it’s not that straightforward (us being hardwired). For starters, the babies at that age that prefer the truck do not know what a truck, or any other vehicle, is in the first place. A more recent study showed that babies’ gaze were more fixated on dolls than cars, regardless of gender. Basically it’s safe to assume that psychology is extremely complicated and there’s so much stuff we don’t know yet. That’s the beauty of science, hahaha
DisorientingSneeze said:
Skirts and dresses see me in all my stages of pregnancy and postpartum and say, “I got you girl”
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Skirts and dresses make me look like a toddler 💀 skinny jeans are all I wear because it’s the only kind of bottoms that look good on my figure and height. The curse of a shapeless midget
 
Oh nice! I used to study but life got in the way and studying the faith took precedence over everything else. Haha. Then I got burned out and now I’m just a lazy brain bum.
 
We are all born with a preference for the human face. This pattern recognition software built into us makes us so sensitive to human faces that we see human faces in patterns all the time.
 
Lara said:
Wearing ripped jeans is one such example. You pay over $100 for jeans which already are marred.
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I love the distressed, deconstructed boy-friend jeans I just got for $3.00. They’re cute!
 
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