Are my shoes immodest?

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Also, let’s not forget the cultural context. What is frowned upon in one culture doesn’t even raise an eyebrow in another. Therefore voices boldly proclaiming their specific opinion as the standard against which others should be judged, rarely speak on behalf on anyone beside their ego.
 
Irishmom2 said:
Really? What is the sexual connotation here? Ridiculous shoes have a sexual connotation? 🤨
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As a man who was not always a Christian, and at times, not a very good Christian, I can attest that these are most commonly worn by strippers.
 
Donald_S said:
As a man who was not always a Christian, and at times, not a very good Christian, I can attest that these are most commonly worn by strippers.
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Thank you! These styles fall into a category of shoes associated with and worn by strippers, dominatrix, prostitutes, and porn stars. You can commonly find them if you search “fetish” along with other terms. Of course anything can be a fetish, but this category has a name and connotation that exists and has been marketed accordingly. If I were to wear this type of style on the street, that connotation would click with a lot of people and not be viewed as appropriate. These shoes have no foreseeable function outside of being provocative, or at the least it would be assumed I am trying to look sexy. They have been worn in the mainstream amongst pop stars and party girls recently, which somewhat normalized them, but the trend is dying. I’ve worked in the fashion industry and have former sex worker friends, and know that as soon as most see a shoe like this it is categorized accordingly. Even Lady Gaga would not wear these to Mass.
 
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A fetish goes way beyond looking sexy or provocative. Which is why I asked you to look up the meaning of fetish. People in or around the sex industry using this term for simply sexy or provocative items, does not change this fact.
 
Michaelangelo said:
A fetish goes way beyond looking sexy or provocative. Which is why I asked you to look up the meaning of fetish. People in or around the sex industry using this term for simply sexy or provocative items, does not change this fact.
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I know the definition of fetish but pop culture, or in this case counterculture, can use the word as slang for whatever it chooses. Nobody is expecting the definition of the word to change, so I don’t get why this is a debatable point.

Nobody is arguing the actual definition of the word.

For the record my only point in even mentioning these shoes is that yes, there are shoes that exist that would be considered immodest, that’s all. Call em whatever you want, fetish, extremely high heels, crazy heels. Doesn’t matter to me and not sure why they word fetish was such a point of discourse. Anyways…
 
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Mrchatsworth said:
“Oh mom, I must hang out with different prostitutes than the ones you do.”
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And we have today’s winner . . .
🤣 🤣 🤣

And for those that doubt mother’s effects in such thing, I ended up self-conscious every time I looked in a mirror. Eventually I got a little tube of that stuff to darken it.

[ok, and now the, err, blond is irregular and asymmetric enough that I get some more areas lightly just so that I don’t look silly, but that’s another issue . . .]
blackforest said:
Yes. Flip flops. They show too much flesh.
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Exactly.

If your skirt is so short that they show, you should get special flip-flops to cover your ankles!

:crazy_face: 😱 🤣
Deditus_Domina said:
My mother recently said one of my black dresses was suggestive, when I got to church people thought I was a nun. Moms 🤷‍♀️
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🤣 🤯
Irishmom2 said:
Anything can be called a fetish, or be a fetish to someone.
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🤯 😱
Julie Andrews singing “A Few of my Favorite Things” will never be the same again! (poor fuzzy kittens)
 
Since I’m small I always wear heels to mass. I like to look feminine.The summer sometimes I have toe cleavage. Eek my dds too… But we wear midi to floor length dresses. I also have over the knee boots.

So no worries. I feel like putting up a blog or you tube channel on how to be stylish and modest.
If I do I’ll post it here.

You are fortunate to have mass. Here it’s still virtual.
 
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That she said this AND that it made you cry suggests y’all might have some boundary issues between you. Have you read “Boundaries” by Drs. Cloud and Townsend? I highly recommend it. You’re grown - she needs to let go of the details of your life (including her opinions about yo u r shoes); you need to let go of her opinions of your details (such as shoes). It takes time if you are just starting that process when you get married. Bottom line - the shoes seem fine to me, but the way you two got emotionally destabilized by each other does not.
 
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Consider that your Mom may be exhibiting the early stages of dementia. One sign is that the person exhibits uncharacteristic hostility and outbursts such as that you described. It might be time for her to seek help. Even if she rejects that idea, it is most certainly time to pray for her.
 
Now that’s a stretch. Poor mother, now everyone in CAF comes with a more bizarre criticism.
 
I have in fact the same boots. I’m a shoe person.
There are no such thing as prostitute shoes imho

If you wore these boots with short shorts it’s a different story as any high heel stilettos with short shorts or mini skirt.

I have worn stilettos to church with a to the floor pleated skirt. It looked very classy and feminine.

At 25 you know your style. That’s the key and keep it classy at mass. Not a fashion show but elegant. Even Jean’s–can look nice with a heel.
I dont wear anything except dresses but that’s my style.
 
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odd historical note:

Disneyland poured its asphalt too late, and too close to opening.

So the first couple of days, women’s heels were sinking in.

odd physics note:

a stilleto heel applies greater pressure (albeit to a smaller area) than an elephant’s foot. Stubs used to be handed to women by places with wooden floors, to spread out the weight, reducing the pressure that would dent the floor.
 
Michaelangelo said:
Just because private corporations produce a line of products that are colloquially called “fetish footwear”, does not mean this is correct. Look up the meaning of the term fetish to start with. Anything can be a fetish. Which translates, in case of shoes, that any type of shoe can be fetish footwear.
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I mean… come on, man. It sounds like you’re trying to defend an extreme here. @catholiclala has friends who, as she mentioned, are former sex workers, and that does give her position some cred here. And as a fellow woman who found the OP’s footwear alright and would agree that in general, footwear isn’t the part of an outfit I’d call out as immodest… If you check out @catholiclala’s link, actually check photos of ‘fetish footwear’, and disagree that these some of these shoes count as obviously sexually suggestive and intended for fetishized sexual encounters… I honestly don’t believe you. I think you’re arguing just to not have to adjust your original opinion, at that point.

(Some of these shoes have buckles or laces up to the thigh; force the woman’s toes to stay ballerina-pointed, etc. Also, yes, technically anything can be fetishized… but there are also famously widespread and popular fetishes and footwear associated and produced in what is obviously that style, that I’m actually taking back my suggestion that people google it – at least if they struggle with purity and visual images prompt issues.)
 
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I have these shoes. I wear them to church and work. I have them in taupe because my style in more pastels. I’m tiny. 90 pounds with a roll of pennies in each pocket. Lol.

But remember Jesus said judge not. These are from the fetish site. As other posters upthread said anything can be a fetish.
I know that Catholic school uniforms that girls wear is one. …should I tell my daughter not to wear her uniform because they’re weirdos out there?
 
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And yes imho the ballerina shoes have just one purpose. But most women wear shoes either for height or to add dressiness to an outfiit.
 
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