Asking a Catholic Girl Out

  • Thread starter Thread starter Melodeonist
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I don’t know. While in theory it sounds like a great option, I don’t know what her plans are for the holidays. Besides, waiting for over a month to ask her out seems a bit long. What if somebody else asks her out before I do in that time frame?

That said, I’d assume she would be more likely to go out with me (an ultra-conservative Catholic with some trad leanings) than a person who isn’t Catholic or is nominally Catholic, as she is a traditional Catholic. But what do I know? 🤷‍♂️
 
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Melodeonist said:
That said, I’d assume she would be more likely to go out with me (an ultra-conservative Catholic with some trad leanings) than a person who isn’t Catholic or is nominally Catholic, as she is a traditional Catholic. But what do I know? 🤷‍♂️
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Sometimes, it seems a little werird to me that you need to point out in every single therad how “trad” you are. Really. Get to know the human within her and, more important, within youself. Stop labeling yourself please. I wouldn´t like to marry a guy who has an agenda for the “spouse issue” rather than interest in myself.
 
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Melodeonist said:
don’t know. While in theory it sounds like a great option, I don’t know what her plans are for the holidays. Besides, waiting for over a month to ask her out seems a bit long. What if somebody else asks her out before I do in that time frame?
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Aren’t classes finishing up pretty fast?

Alternately, you could ask her out for after the end of class before Thanksgiving break, especially if she doesn’t have to travel/rush off.
 
Melodeonist said:
What if somebody else asks her out before I do in that time frame?
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Funny story. There was a girl in college I had a huge crush on. I hemmed and hawed about asking her out. And another guy swooped in before I worked up the nerve. But their relationship only lasted about a month. A year later, I finally worked up the nerve to ask her out. We went on a date. It went well. Then things fizzled out. Two years later, I asked her out again. Things went well. Then we got married. 🙂

Sometimes it takes a while. But you still have to act to get the ball rolling. 😉
 
Melodeonist said:
I don’t know. While in theory it sounds like a great option, I don’t know what her plans are for the holidays. Besides, waiting for over a month to ask her out seems a bit long. What if somebody else asks her out before I do in that time frame?
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Uhhh…she goes out.

Even if you ask her out now, it’d be crazy to expect her not to go out with other men for quite some time. Exclusivity is MONTHS down the road.
 
Melodeonist said:
What if somebody else asks her out before I do in that time frame?
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Then you better act fast. If she’s as good as all this then you can be sure you’re not the only one who is interested.

You need to stop coming back to this thread and actually take action. You’re missing all your chances. There is no point at all constantly working yourself up to do it and then chickening out at the last minute, then coming back to overanalyse on this thread. Women like a guy who is prepared to act and take a risk for her. If you can’t take the risk of rejection then I’m afraid you probably won’t ask anyone out because the same thing will happen.

The next time you post here you should resolve to either have a date with her or have asked her and been rejected. Both those options are better than what you’re doing now.
 
Yeah. Seems the whole dating world has changed the rules, you exchange texts, update your Facebook status and are exclusive after one date? Zoinks.
 
TheLittleLady said:
Yeah. Seems the whole dating world has changed the rules, you exchange texts, update your Facebook status and are exclusive after one date? Zoinks.
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Yeah, thats only how it works for middle schoolers.

Once you reach adulthood one is generally able to understand that dating includes the 2-6 month period before one reaches exclusivity. Heck, even when I was using an online DATING service for the purpose of seeking a spouse it was quite a few WEEKS of face to face dates before I even considered exclusivity.
 
Xanthippe_Voorhees said:
Once you reach adulthood one is generally able to understand that dating includes the 2-6 month period before one reaches exclusivity. Heck, even when I was using an online DATING service for the purpose of seeking a spouse it was quite a few WEEKS of face to face dates before I even considered exclusivity.
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This probably has to be made explicit, though.

A lot of people (especially newbies) will feel like they are being cheated on if it isn’t made clear to them that if things go well, you would be happy to go exclusive at some point, but you’re not exclusive at this point.
 
AdamPeter said:
To be honest, I wouldn’t say I was dating if it wasn’t exclusive.
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A lot of newbies wouldn’t be clear on the difference between going out on dates and dating.

I know I actually got married without realizing that it’s OK to see different people right up until you declare exclusivity. Not knowing that didn’t really make a difference for me personally, because my opportunities were so few and far between that there never was an overlap, but that wouldn’t be true for everybody.

So, just throwing that out, just for the sake of newbies.
 
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TheLittleLady said:
Yeah. Seems the whole dating world has changed the rules, you exchange texts, update your Facebook status and are exclusive after one date? Zoinks.
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Updating your facebook relationship status always seemed stupid in my mind. What if the relationship doesn’t work out? Are you okay with the whole world seeing what happened? Maybe when you get engaged but not before.
 
Entwhistler said:
Updating your facebook relationship status always seemed stupid in my mind. What if the relationship doesn’t work out? Are you okay with the whole world seeing what happened? Maybe when you get engaged but not before.
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Well, there is some point.

It signals to your intended and your social circle that you are not available to other people.

Not changing Facebook status is, I believe, typical of cheaters.

But yeah, don’t be changing it until you have something serious going.
 
Hmm. I was chatting with her last night on Facebook, and shes really busy from being Student Government President and such. I don’t know if I should ask her out ASAP, or ask her out, as suggested on this thread, after finals. The only reason I’m skeptical about the finals bit is that I may not get a chance to see her after finals, and that would be around Christmas time so she may be too busy then for other reasons.

I suppose I could ask her something along the lines of “you doing anything this weekend?” which would allow me to see if she’s too busy. I’m not sure if asking her out at the moment would be a good idea because I don’t want to make her even more busy. Making her uncomfortable, or making her life harder would be the last thing I would want to do.
 
You are not asking her to go on the Camino or to give you a kidney, you are asking her to share a slice of pizza and sit in a movie. Seriously, “Hey, Sally do you want to grab dinner and a movie on Saturday?”
 
Very true. I believe I’ll get a chance to see her tomorrow at the Student Government meeting. I’ll try to ask her if I do.

One of the hardest things, I find, is thinking of what to actually ask her out to do. There are so many possible options, but I would only want to ask her to do something she’d enjoy; I personally enjoy pretty much anything that isn’t immoral. I know she likes coffee, but asking her a couple days in advance for something as small as coffee sounds a bit like overkill. The thing you suggested sounds good. There’s also a non movie theater nearby but they aren’t having any shows at the moment or so it seems.
 
Holey moley…this thread is so frustrating! Stop worrying about these things and just ask her to do ANYTHING! We’d all love to see you successfully go on a date with this lady. But it’s never gonna happen if you keep coming up with reasons to delay. I think this thread is becoming an actual obstacle to you taking action. You are overanalysing each and every aspect of the situation. Just ask her and do not post again until you do.

Seriously go get the girl…then tell us of your SUCCESS!!! 😉
 
Through out your life – there are going to be choices/decisions to be made-- that will impact your life and others (ex. family) If this is an example of “handling” life situations – the future does not look very stable.
 
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Because you will fret over it, here is an excellent resource for film reviews. I’ve linked you to what is “now playing”.

If it were me, I would suggest “The Unknown Girl”. On the other hand, “Human Flow” would give you something to discuss over dinner after

 
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