Asking a Catholic Girl Out

  • Thread starter Thread starter Melodeonist
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Well, not to talk around our beloved OP, but he does tend to misread social cues, so I think he might do well to
  1. not assume she’s a sede
  2. understand that if she IS, she will most certianly expect him to attend her church.
All of this can be avoided…lots more conversation needs to be had.
It could start with "I see you belong to such and such group on FB!
How did you come to join that?
And go from there.
 
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pianistclare said:
Well, not to talk around our beloved OP, but he does ten to misread social cues, so I think he might do well to
  1. not assume she’s a sede
  2. understand that if she IS, she will most certianly expect him to attend her church.
All of this can be avoided…lots more conversation needs to be had.
It could start with "I see you belong to such and such group on FB!
How did you come to join that?
And go from there.
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I’ll go with that.
 
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Ignore all this sede-blah blah talk dude. The girl likes you enough to at least give you a chance. She told you to reschedule. So reschedule. Pick a date a few days to a week out to give her time to, well, block off the time. And make it clear its a date. You can say something creative like, “would you like to go on a date next Thursday to the bowling lanes?” Literally use the word “date”. There are few things more awkward than when one person goes out somewhere with another with the impression that it is a date, while the second person thinks its just friends hanging out. Ambiguity may seem to give you a safety-valve as an out in case things go badly in your mind, but it is a terrible idea in practice.

Good luck, Romeo. 👍
 
And if she says “no” to that, understand that she is not into you and don’t keep perusing.
 
pianistclare said:
Get some current clothing that blends in more. Regular jeans, regular tees, polos, skip the wide ties. That stuff is trendy, and good for groups that already dig it. Most young girls wouldn’t like it I don’t think, and I have 2 daughters in their 20’s. They’re just not into that, and wouldn’t give you a chance. Not saying that is RIGHT…of course. You have to be yourself. But you’ve already pidgeon-holed yourself.
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Yeah.

Unfortunately, it does make you look much older than you actually are, so you don’t look like a peer to women your age.

So, dress contemporary at least half the time.
 
I find it pretty funny that you guys think my clothes choices make me look older as people offline tend to think I’m still in high school. 😜

By the way, do you think I should wait to ask her out again, or do it ASAP? I’ll remember to use date in the sentence this time!

The more I think about it, the less I think she’s a scede. If she was indeed a scede, why would she go to a Diocesean parish?
 
Dressing old can actually make you look young because it looks like you’re trying to pretend to dress up.

You need to STOP trying to figure out who someone is by facebook, etc. Talk to her. Rather than saying “want to go bowling tonight” say “You mentioned you were busy, what day/time would be best for you”
 
Hello,
to the clothing issue:
When I got to know my fiancé, he wore a little vintage inspired clothing, mostly black jackets and antique jewelry. A bit to special for most people, but I wasn´t “most people”. We both studied history/classics and are a bit nerdy with this. So I don´t think one should look totally mainstream if he or she is not, sometimes those nerdy edges help. BUT going more dressing is always the better way, no matter what peronal style is prefered. I don´t know any woman wouldn´t like the idea of a man who takes care of his clothing for himself and her.

To the facebook thing: I would stop spending so much time there and let the things have their natural speed and flow. I deleted my account there after years and I am glad that the first talks with my fiancé were in real life and not influented by misunderstandings based on likes and friendlists. I am sometimes a hypocritical person and would probably feel as worried as you with this, but these are topics you can easily discuss within a nice talk, without to much room for misunderstandings. I wish you good luck 😉
 
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I wouldn’t let too much time pass. Not that you have to drop everything and go ask right now. But next time you see her and have the opportunity to do so, you can bring up the rain check.

I know I’m a guy and the women in the thread are probably the better ones to listen to regarding clothes, but I don’t know that it’s a make-it-or-break-it issue. I still attracted the attention of my wife while having facial hair (which she hates) and wearing jean shorts (which she loathes) and band t-shirts (which she despises). 😝 So I don’t know that clothing makes that big of a difference. Of course, now I’m clean shaven and only wear jean shorts to cut the grass and do yard work. And I only wear polo shirts and dress shirts. What happened? 🤣 It happened so slowly I didn’t even notice. 😂 I still wear socks with sandals, though (much to my wife’s chagrin).

In retrospect, though, it probably would have made things go more smoothly had I made the switch earlier. 😄
 
That’s exactly what my wife says. 😄 The older I get, the more I must admit that I do prefer the khaki shorts to the jean shorts. The jean shorts do look a little…off.
 
Don’t let too much time pass. Don’t worry about playing some type of waiting game. Just ask her the next chance you get.

I too am a guy, but going by my own sister, if she likes you she is thinking up all sorts of increasingly drastic reasons why you haven’t asked her out again yet. You got this bro.
 
Melodeonist said:
By the way, do you think I should wait to ask her out again, or do it ASAP? I’ll remember to use date in the sentence this time!
Click to expand...
You want to appear interested, but not too eager.
A modest delay seems reasonable, unless there is a special event.

Appearing too eager doesn’t stir romance.
 
FirstFiveEighth said:
I too am a guy, but going by my own sister, if she likes you she is thinking up all sorts of increasingly drastic reasons why you haven’t asked her out again yet. You got this bro.
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This is spot on. I have two sisters and this is exactly what happens. Leave it a few days but not too long to ask her out again. If she likes you then she’ll be pleased.

I wouldn’t worry about the dress sense. I’ve always dressed a bit more formally than most. I’d often wear shirt, tie and waistcoat. You’ve got a young enough face so I doubt that will be an issue.
Women also appreciate a guy who is well groomed and well dressed.
 
Argh. I failed to ask her out again. She was at todays meeting. When the meeting ended she had to leave. I should have walked out at the same time she did, giving me time/a chance to ask her out, but I didn’t as I felt that would have been creepy.

Heck, I don’t know what I’m even afraid of anymore. As my parents saw I quit vaping, naturally, I had to tell them that I like the girl in the Newman Club. They didn’t care (just like you guys said.) I guess I’m just a coward, but the only way I could get comfortable saying something like asking her on a date would be by doing just that.

I wonder if asking her on a date over Facebook is an option as I get very few chances to ask her out. The mandolin day was God’s will, as was last week. I’m still kicking myself for not asking her out today. 😵
 
Hey,

please - NO Facebook. It seems to casual, this is worthy in real world for you, so ask her in the real world. Being shy is not being a coward, don´t be too harsh to you - just do it next time, there is no life changing worst case for you, in every case you will come home and feel fine soon again.

Just for your information: my future husband was to shy to ask me out. I asked him out - so, I am not writing the words above because I am very conservative;-)
 
I’d prefer asking her out in person. I just rarely get the chance to do so. If I asked her out in the middle of the meeting with many others there I might make her feel uncomfortable. I’d feel like a creep asking her to step outside for a second, but it seems I don’t really have another option. 🤔
 
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