I have plenty of atheist/agnostic/non-religous friends who are good people. I find it difficult to believe this is insta-hell for them. Any thoughts?
There is such a thing as invincible ignorance, and since we are not born with knowledge of our eternal destiny, it would be tyrannical to put somebody in eternal suffering for what they do not know. What is to become of all those generations that never even encountered the concept of God?
Invincible ignorance would save them, and so in a sense for them ignorance is bliss.
However there is a caveat to that situation.
God judges the heart. Thus when an atheist encounters the truth at the moment of death, and in encountering that truth his or her heart is exposed to it, then how that person responds to the truth will ultimately define a persons final destination.
In any case, while God wants us to follow a very narrow and specific path in life in terms of how we ought to approach Christ, It really is up to God in the end who is saved and who is not.
Thus we must be very humble when judging the destiny of others, for a person may do all the right things in terms of good works and following the legal requirement of a Christian life, but still end up in hell because there was no love in their hearts.
Pray for God’s love and pray for the salvation of others, and as controversial and uncomfortable as it might be to hear, pray for your worst enemy; even if it’s Hitler.
The goal of the Church is to save souls, not condemn them. The entire human race is sick.