Baby Crying during Mass Homily

[FrenzyJen]

but if you can’t hear the homily, why bother coming ?

I myself have wondered that many a mass, as I stand outside with my toddler, near tears, because I so badly want to hear the liturgy, just once.

I think the parents should have done more about their loud children, but I don’t think the priest should have called them out. He does not know their hearts, and what specifically was going on with them that day. It is harder than most people realize, trying to practice your faith with small children.

An outburst like your priest’s will likely embarrass this young family into not returning to church. There go 4 souls.

 

[kita04]

I understand the priest having the right to excuse the couple without congregation questioning him but the BOLDED is what bothers me. Did he really take the Lord’s name in vain like that from the altar? He may have been being pious with the phrase, but it sounds like given that there was immediate debate from the congregation that this one not the case.

SaintRita,

He did not say it in same context as most would think. Sometimes you hear people say that and you know they took his name in vain. And maybe we hear it too much to think of it any other way.

I believe he was reverently and respectfully asking that for the sake of God, they go to the cry room.

 

[SaintRita]

SaintRita,

He did not say it in same context as most would think. Sometimes you hear people say that and you know they took his name in vain. And maybe we hear it too much to think of it any other way.

I believe he was reverently and respectfully asking that for the sake of God, they go to the cry room.

Hearing it explained changes how I feel slightly and I think it might others in this thread as well.

 

[kita04]

I myself have wondered that many a mass, as I stand outside with my toddler, near tears, because I so badly want to hear the liturgy, just once.

I think the parents should have done more about their loud children, but I don’t think the priest should have called them out. He does not know their hearts, and what specifically was going on with them that day. It is harder than most people realize, trying to practice your faith with small children.

An outburst like your priest’s will likely embarrass this young family into not returning to church. There go 4 souls.

They will find another church. She was not Catholic, he is very Catholic. He taught our confirmation class with a unique perspective. Teaching them more than a couple prayers. He taught them why we believe what we do, some on apologetics.

I have two kids of my own. It is very hard and many times, I just wanted to pay attention to the mass and not my kids. I can’t say I was ever in tears. I do think it’s a struggle parents have to go through. There is a speaker in the cry room so you can still hear what is going on. When my children were younger, they didn’t have a speaker in the cry room and I took them out quickly when they began crying, but my kids were pretty good. I didn’t have much trouble.

There is more than the homily. My goodness, the Eucharist, right ? As long as we are there, I think we are in communion with the mass. Even if we only get to attend 15 minutes of the whole thing.

I just want both sides to say- Hey, I was wrong, I apologize.
Mommy- I should have taken my children out before it became so bad and you shouldn’t have had to say something 3 times to get my attention.
Father- I should have had a bit more patience and waited til the end of Mass.

 

[robwar]

I agree with this. It sounds like the couple should have had the good sense to go to the cry room while the baby was creating a disturbance, but they were probably pretty overwhelmed with whatever was going on. To call them out in public like that is highly insensitive and embarrassing and could have the result of driving them from the church permanently. If such things must be addressed, they should have been approached privately and sensitively.

Yes and absolutely one of the parents should have had the common sense to leave with the baby. But there can be a number of other “disruptions” at Mass. I’ve seen seizures, fainting, throwing up and all of these are definitely disruptions. I’ve also seen people cough their heads off. But it’s really too easy to go after parents with young children/babies. Now what if someone started to cough uncontrollable at Church during the homily. Would the priest stop and ask that person to go out? I don’t think so. Yes there are a lot of parents that could use some common sense in how they handle their young at Mass which include where they sit, what they bring etc. But to call out to someone very publically during Mass and ask them to leave only reflects badly on the priest not the disruption.

 

[revert_jen]

Now what if someone started to cough uncontrollable at Church during the homily. Would the priest stop and ask that person to go out?

Probably not, but if it were me, he wouldn’t have to. I went out of Mass twice just last week, not to disturb others with my coughing. Since I can’t make an announcement “I’m not contagious, honestly!” this is the only way not to have people think I’m spreading germs all over them. I also bring a small unmarked bottle of water, in case that will help without me having to disturb people by going out. If the people around me choose to think I’m taking nips of gin, that’s their problem.

–Jen

 

[Desertsilver]

My heart is a little heavy.
me?))

.

Tonight, the Parish and Finance councils are having a joint meeting and they plan to discuss the matter. During a facebook chat, the leader asks for everyone’s opinion.

Just in case the Facebook query and meeting are to look for solutions rather than vent about Father… my parish records the homily, so you can go on the church website and stream it or listen later! I feel much less pressure to try and hear him , knowing that I can just listen to anything I missed at home later. it’s also fun and instructive to see how differently our 3 priests respond to the reading of the day.

 

[robwar]

Well, not in our parish. We have all kinds of instructional homilies. I’m always grateful when the priests do this, because it’s important for us all to know the facts and be aware of what kind of behavior we should practice.

Not sure if all the parishes in Illinois did this, but last Sunday, our bishop asked that his letter condemning Illinois’ decision to legalize gay marriage be read in ALL Masses, and it was read in ALL Masses, including the children’s Mass that I played for. It wasn’t a graphic letter, but it did not leave any wiggle room for Catholics who want to believe that “we are a church of tolerance and love when it comes to gay marriage.” You could have heard a pin drop in that gym while the priest read through that letter. I think if any baby had started crying (and there were a lot of babies in that Mass), the parent would have immediately left because everyone knew that this letter was important and that EVERYONE needed to hear it so they wouldn’t have any excuse to believe in gay marriage like our Catholic governor does.

In all honesty Cat, after this priest asked the parents to leave, do you really think anyone in attendance even focused on what he had to say? No! I would wager that everyone focused on what the priest did, not what he said in his homily which is only a minor part of the Mass anyway and going to Mass to listen to a homily is not why 90% of the Catholics are there for.

 

[Desertsilver]

Unless of course, you’re OK with power point projections, iPad apps, and other visual teaching aids during the Mass. Frankly, I think visual media is a great way to teach, and it would help take care of the crying baby problem. I think the Catholic Church ought to use every “weapon” in the arsenal to make sure their people get catechized about important issues.

I would definitely like it if the ipad users are to sit only in the last rows though. The large flashing screen and changing pictures constantly distract me…Other people in my church have said the same thing. Your eyes just dart over to the screen almost by themselves…

People following along on their smart phones is not so distracting- but the ipads and Kindles really are.

 

[Cat]

In all honesty Cat, after this priest asked the parents to leave, do you really think anyone in attendance even focused on what he had to say? No! I would wager that everyone focused on what the priest did, not what he said in his homily which is only a minor part of the Mass anyway and going to Mass to listen to a homily is not why 90% of the Catholics are there for.

I’m sure you’re right.

I also agree with you that Catholics don’t attend Mass to hear homilies (unless they have a priest who is gifted in giving homilies). But that was my point–many people do not utilize any opportunity for catechesis other than the Mass, and if the priest happens to give a real hum dinger of a homily that day, it’s nice if these under-catechized people can hear it.

 

[robwar]

I’m sure you’re right.

I also agree with you that Catholics don’t attend Mass to hear homilies (unless they have a priest who is gifted in giving homilies). But that was my point–many people do not utilize any opportunity for catechesis other than the Mass, and if the priest happens to give a real hum dinger of a homily that day, it’s nice if these under-catechized people can hear it.

Yes, I would rather hear instructional homilies than the inspiration kind as well. I am going by what a priest who teaches at our seminary shared with me in a conversation. No matter how frustrated, upset and annoyed or even in his rights, a priest should never call someone out at Mass to correct or admonish them. He told me that it always backfires on the priest even if he has the right too and is correct. I think that is what happen here and why the parish counsel is responding to the uproar. I also think some of this is cultural with the priest being from India. We can go in circles about if parents should take disruptive children out. I think most all of us would agree on that but this priest should not have done that so publically and now has caused the family to leave the parish. Not so smart.

 

[Cat]

Yes, I would rather hear instructional homilies than the inspiration kind as well. I am going by what a priest who teaches at our seminary shared with me in a conversation. No matter how frustrated, upset and annoyed or even in his rights, a priest should never call someone out at Mass to correct or admonish them. He told me that it always backfires on the priest even if he has the right too and is correct. I think that is what happen here and why the parish counsel is responding to the uproar. I also think some of this is cultural with the priest being from India. We can go in circles about if parents should take disruptive children out. I think most all of us would agree on that but this priest should not have done that so publically and now has caused the family to leave the parish. Not so smart.

I do agree with you and others who say that a priest (or anyone in any public gathering) shouldn’t call any one person or family out and humiliate them. Perhaps a general call for quiet in the nave would have been a little more appropriate and much more effective. Or perhaps the priest could have asked the congregation in general to offer assistance to those in the congregation who have rambunctious little ones.

I have to say something here though–parents have to develop a very thick skin. For the next 18 years, if they allow their children to be exposed to the real world, they will experience situations where people criticize, scream at, bully, make fun of, give bad grades to, bench, not give the job or scholarship or part or solo, etc.to their kids.

They need to get used to it. They can’t just keep quitting every church, school, sports team, restaurant, neighborhood, etc. that doesn’t treat their child like the cat’s pajamas. And we need to remember that as the U.S. continues to become more diverse, that there are cultures in which children do NOT rule.

 

[coachkfan1]

But once again I ask, how can the faithful be edified IF THEY CAN’T HEAR??? I’m sorry but it is extremely RUDE and SELFISH to allow this to happen. God bless the priest. They have a hard enough job already without being forced to do address what parents will not!

 

[robwar]

Well, there is always a hearing aide.

 

[Brigid34]

But once again I ask, how can the faithful be edified IF THEY CAN’T HEAR??? I’m sorry but it is extremely RUDE and SELFISH to allow this to happen. God bless the priest. They have a hard enough job already without being forced to do address what parents will not!

The parishioners are edified by the Eucharist although hearing the homily is very good. I agree with you that it seemed rude of the parents to not take the baby out earlier and I also agree that the priests have a very hard job.

 

[robwar]

I do agree with you and others who say that a priest (or anyone in any public gathering) shouldn’t call any one person or family out and humiliate them. Perhaps a general call for quiet in the nave would have been a little more appropriate and much more effective. Or perhaps the priest could have asked the congregation in general to offer assistance to those in the congregation who have rambunctious little ones.

I have to say something here though–parents have to develop a very thick skin. For the next 18 years, if they allow their children to be exposed to the real world, they will experience situations where people criticize, scream at, bully, make fun of, give bad grades to, bench, not give the job or scholarship or part or solo, etc.to their kids.

They need to get used to it. They can’t just keep quitting every church, school, sports team, restaurant, neighborhood, etc. that doesn’t treat their child like the cat’s pajamas. And we need to remember that as the U.S. continues to become more diverse, that there are cultures in which children do NOT rule.

It has nothing to do with thick skin, being called out in front of everyone during Mass is over the top and no matter how thick the skin is, is the utmost in humiliation. Priests have enough of a public image problem and they don’t need to add to it by doing these sorts of things especally now that it’s gone on the internet and facebook and now the family is leaving the parish.

 

[coachkfan1]

It has nothing to do with thick skin, being called out in front of everyone during Mass is over the top and no matter how thick the skin is, is the utmost in humiliation. Priests have enough of a public image problem and they don’t need to add to it by doing these sorts of things especally now that it’s gone on the internet and facebook and now the family is leaving the parish.

They shouldn’t have to be called out during Mass. Common courtesy dictates otherwise.

 

[coachkfan1]

Well, there is always a hearing aide.

Oh so you got jokes? I feel for the elderly and others who already have trouble hearing. It’s a matter of common courtesy. Many of us can only go to Mass once a week and we would like to be able to hear what is being said. I love children, but again, this is about courtesy and respect for others. The end.

 

[bben15]

I personally think the priest did the right thing. It is important that everyone hear the priest’s homily. Sometimes during Mass at my parish, there is a baby crying so loud I cannot hear my pastor speaking, and I sit in the front row, so he is standing only three feet in front of me. The parents do not take the baby out of the church, and my pastor does not want to appear rude, so he says nothing.

You also must understand this from the priest’s point of view. There was a baby crying so loud that barely anyone could hear him, and the parents wouldn’t take the baby to the cry room. He probably became very irritated by this. Plus, he had to tell the parents not once, not twice, but three times to take the child to the cry room. Each time he had to say this, more of a scene was made. The priest probably became more irritated because the parents did not cooperate at first.

In the future, instead of having to make a scene, the parents can just take the baby out to the cry room when he/she starts crying instead of having to wait for the priest to tell them.

 

[HoneyBea]

The culture today is very much over sensitive, over offended, over entitled, demanding much respect without giving much and a general lack of humility and self awareness.

If I were the parents I would have been very vocal at defending the priest who embarrassed me and humbling myself for whatever error I may have unintentionally caused and defusing any gossiping etc. immediately. But that’s just me, I dont think everything is about me nor do I think I’m that important, I would be thinking of the parish as a whole.

I do agree there could have been more delicate ways to handle this, but I respect the Priests decision to do what he needed to do since the parents were not. I think this could have been avoided. I agree with OP the parents and the priest should both humble themselves, forgive each other and learn from each other. Good can always come out of bad, we should will it so.