Being cut in front of in the confession line

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people , even some with semi- good intentions, constantly mistake “kindness” for “weakness”
 
I’m glad to be reading posts like this. I have this moments like this from time to time. In confession, I wasn’t blatantly cut in line but I ended up waiting in confession for over 1 1/2 hrs. I started 5 people from the confession room, then the priest left and a sign said he’d be back. Then he went into another booth. Then a woman came up and said to get into a 3rd line that Father won’t be back. I waited there and somehow the couple who was standing behind me, got in front of me. Then we were told to switch again and now an older woman and a few others were front of me and I literally ran like I was saving myself and leaving them for the lions (not a good moment, I had to push that thought out). Turns out I waited even longer in this line and refused to go into another line with a priest who makes you thoroughly discuss your sins and what it means and why (which is good when you need it). I ended up watching an entire evening mass while waiting in this other line. What a day, you could see the irritation on everyone’s faces in line. I didn’t add the situation to confession, I didn’t think to. After reading your post, perhaps it was wrong to want to go first, but I don’t think so, I was standing there first. I have little children at home being watched by my husband and I missed dinner and bedtime routine that they usually see mommy there for. It’s hard enough for me to make it to confession with little ones. So, no I didn’t think I needed to confess my irritation. I calmed down during the mass and the prayer in line helped, so I let it be. But I do agree with you, when this behavior happens at church I start to get irritated and that generally comes from hurt – perhaps hurt to see this going on in church with other brothers and sisters/Catholics who are suppose to be virtuous. But I let it go, it does teach me that I have work to do on myself – we all have the potential to be like the Saints. Perhaps, be thankful you know what to work on. Sounds like it could be worse.
 
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lady of faith; your single space essay is a little rough on my recently surgically healed eyeballs

i would NEVER (unless an asteroid was on direct collision course planet earth) wait 1.5 hours in line to go to confession

there are too many other options…
 
our church has a mass going on in the middle of the 3 spaces (lines for confession). it was the first time in a long time I could set through mass without having to quiet my kids or wrangle them with my husband. Kind of a blessing at the same time.
 
i’ve had young children (all grown now)

as i’ve posted in this thread previously; there is confession available everyday, you just have to seek it out

if you can get your husband to just sit w/ your children for an hour or two; you can get to confession

again; i can’t readily read your first post

but good luck & pray to the Holy Spirit…
 
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I really don’t like when people want to cut in confession line. (especially if there are only a few more minutes before Mass starts.)
Luckily I haven’t had an experience quite that bad, people in our parish are polite enough to ask if they want to cut in line.
The altar boys get VIP treatment when it comes to confession line, they are allowed to cut whenever they want (of course they ask first) so that they aren’t late for serving.

It’s the worst when the sacristan is lighting the candles, your hoping desperately you’ll be able to get in before cut off time, and your brother asks (who is serving) to cut in line. Arghhh! 🙂
 
I it is wonderful they let alter servers do that in your church. I let a disabled person cut that comes some times. I have invited him to do this without his asking before.

I almost always get there with an hour to spare, so it is ridiculous for someone to cut with no reason at all, other than they just don’t want to wait. Had it been me, I would have:
  1. Simply explained to the person you were trying to get in FRONT of,[me in this case] what happened. or:
  2. Told the person ahead of you, to let anyone showing up behind him, that someone would be returning to line. I would have been ok with that too.
Here is the thing, it was still early, and there were still only three people behind me. Of course pride always comes up during times like these, especially in a confession line. I thought about this. Turning the other cheek and all of that. Had I not been feeling awful, it might have made a difference.

It could also be that this woman needed to examine her pride situation, clearly there was some sense of “entitlement” going on, along with the 400.00 pair of sunglasses she was sporting. LOL no, her sunglasses did not exacerbate the issue! God might have wanted her to address humility with her. Who knows.
 
The exact thing happened to me about a month ago. A nice quiet line of about 6 of us. Woman comes in and immediately goes to stand in front of the first in line. First in line guy looks confused, turned and gave us all the “Sorry but I don’t know what to do, not my fault” look. SIGH.
I didn’t know the woman, but one thing to keep in mind is that there is a lot of mental illness, or borderline mental illness, or simply oblivion to social mores out there.
 
anon90438963 said:
I didn’t know the woman, but one thing to keep in mind is that there is a lot of mental illness, or borderline mental illness, or simply oblivion to social mores out there.
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Right. I’m sure I’ve had similar things happen to me because I do recall feeling irritated in the Confession line at times. But I try to assume that the person has a good reason for what they are doing and let it go. So I don’t really remember anything specific.
 
I can’t remember anyone ever cutting in front of me in the confession line. There was one practice in my former parish that I found somewhat annoying but I adjusted to it.

People would line up along the wall of the church near the confessional to await their turn for confession. (Even before the priest arrived they might be kneeling or sitting in the pews, but they invariably lined up in the pews in order of arrival and then when Father entered the confessional people would get in line in the order of arrival.)

If the line continued to grow larger, a second priest would sometimes come out and begin hearing confessions nearby at the altar rail. The result was that the person in front of the line would either go to the altar rail or the confessional whichever become available next. Thus the order of the line was preserved, but it moved faster.

But invariably someone from the back of the line would walk over and start a new line in front of the second priest at the altar rail, thus giving credence to the maxim that the last shall be first! And others would quickly join the new line especially if they were back towards the end of the first line.

This used to annoy me, but I adapted. When a second priest came out I would try to be one of the first to join or start a new line, depending n my place in the old line. It all works out.
 
Now, I am sick, with a chest cold, feeling bad
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So you brought your virus into church and into the confessional exposing others and especially the priest in the confessional.

That’s an act lacking in charity to begin with, regardless of the fact they you were in mortal sin.

Stay home and ask God for forgiveness, then when you’re well, go to Confession.

Regardless of your sins, only God forgives and understands that you’re sick.

It could be the women saw how sick you were and didn’t want to follow you into the confessional.

Jim
 
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There are souls who are preoccupied with things. They are less aware of their surroundings. If someone is so preoccupied that they enter ahead of others, and since I do not know the gravity of their sins, I allow them to go and pray for them. Who knows, she could have been returning to the faith after months or years? She could have psych issues, or just be acutely sensitive to the sin that separates us from God. I imagine that Saint Francis allowed almost everyone to enter the confessional before him. A good example to follow, good for humility and we must always remember that the Lord is well aware of our motives.

In any event, do work on your own mortal sins first and make the absolute best act of contrition that you can - even outside of confession. Remember that confession is the normative means of absolution, not the exclusive means. The Lord is not waiting outside the doors to strike you down! He has placed someone in front of you that is in need of prayer.
 
JimG said:
But invariably someone from the back of the line would walk over and start a new line in front of the second priest at the altar rail, thus giving credence to the maxim that the last shall be first! And others would quickly join the new line especially if they were back towards the end of the first line.
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How far apart are the confessional and altar rail separated in space? Unless they’re practically right next to each other I’d think forming a second line is the most feasible option even if it means some individuals who have been waiting longer will have their confessions heard after some of those who haven’t been waiting as long. It’s like when they open up a second check stand at the grocery store. You don’t all remain in one single line, rather the checker usually escorts the latter half of those in line to the new check stand. It sucks if you just so happen to be the person before the cutoff, but such is life. As long as everyone eventually gets their chance, all’s well.
 
They were pretty close. Having been in the front of the first line once when this happened, it was about equidistant either to the confessional to the left or the altar rail to the right. I was just looking to see which penitent finished first when I noticed someone had started a second line. But I see your point. It can work either way.
 
Ah I see. I can see it both ways too. In my parish we have 12 confessionals, 6 on each side of the nave, and each one is particular to a specific priest (their names are physically etched into the doors). Confession is heard 15 min. before every Mass, but there’s also the standard weekly confession on Saturdays for an hour and a half before the Anticipated Mass which is when most people avail themselves of the Sacrament. There’s usually only one priest hearing confessions, and so one line. If the line starts to get really long they’ll grab another priest from the rectory and he’ll open up his confessional.

If his confessional is on the other side of the nave from the first line then it makes sense that the latter half of the line move over to that side. There was one time the second priest’s confessional just so happened to be right next to the first in which case the single file line made more sense. It seemed like most of us agreed as we all stayed in line for a good 10 minutes, entering alternating confessionals… until this man at the very end of the line took it upon himself to start a brand new line at the second confessional! And nobody thought to say anything to him, others just started following suit until we had a new line, running backwards, toward the Apse of the church. In my opinion this was just downright self-centered behavior. It wasn’t quite like a driver exiting one congested lane to go into a relatively empty lane next to him rather one of those very important drivers who gets out of the single lane road, drives down the shoulder to cut off the driver 15 cars ahead.
 
Yes.

My thing is that I’m not very assertive. At worst, I’ll end up letting people walk all over me.

Now, I’d rather give people going to confession the benefit of the doubt.

But I definitely get irritated when multiple people just step up into line, when clearly there are several other people “in line” (but not in the official line-up, person next to person).

And so once, I did feel the need to confess that impatient in that confession.

You’re right, it’s an odd feeling, because it’s like a cognitive dissonance going on: You’re here for forgiveness and peace, and yet you can’t help but feel irritated and angry in those moments.
 
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Always hard to turn the other cheek. Maybe you could’ve told her she was in the right place anyway, as she could soon confess her sin of cutting in front of someone, and apparently lying in the process. 🙂
 
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