I caught on to something I missed before. Guess I was oblivious, or people are being more direct and intense.
There is a cultural gap I failed to grasp fully. Gen-X or Y or Millennial or whatever. In attempting to describe it, I’m probably going to make some generalizations. I’ll try my best to avoid stereotyping. So, here goes:
- An overemphasis on fun, being “cool” as defined by youth culture, and wanting guaranteed “happiness.” Being Catholic (or even identifying as Catholic) must be subordinate to these goals.
- A near-phobia of anything potentially “boring,” even in the context of Mass. Maybe due to a cultural norm of constant busyness, noise, and overstimulation?:bounce::whacky: These people feel uneasy with quiet and reflection. It makes them fidgety, like an addict in withdrawal.:whackadoo:
- An emotionally-driven sense of entitlement which – forgive me for not having a way of saying this that might be easier to take – seems less than adult, less than mature. Just saying. None of us grows up at the same rate, nor do we necessarily need to – but, to quote Dr. Phil, “How’s that working for you?” to hang onto that state of mind and those beliefs?
- Reacting with hurt, sadness, alienation to a situation – and the initial reaction may be quite understandable – but then building up extreme anger and feelings of being a victim – wanting perhaps to hold onto the anger? Having difficulty with forgiveness? Believing that clinging to the anger strongly enough will magically make things different?:banghead:
- An assumption that “If I sacrifice anything (pleasure, being entertained, meeting someone of the opposite sex, my time, etc.) to go to Mass or whatever for God, but feel really grumpy and resentful the whole time because I’ve been coerced into doing this burdensome thing, then GOD OWES ME, BIG TIME. And if He fails to deliver, I will pack up my marbles and go off and sulk, and serve Him right.:dts:
- Pride in how “unique” a Catholic one is, not running with the herd. Independent, free-thinking, defiant. Wishing to be loved as a sinner (which we all are), yet also wanting approval for continued sin? Becoming angry with those who disapprove of the sin, no matter how lovingly they attempt to convey it. Yet underneath, still needing/wanting to belong and not be rejected, but having difficulty with the commitments and challenges?
By the way, there is no teaching of the Church that requires Catholics to “hate gay people”.)
OK, those are things I have observed. This thread has had two themes interweaving for quite some time. Now I’ll try to address the two themes.
Theme 1 - Feelings of being marginalized as a single person – which is not uncommon. Nor is it new; it happened to me (a JFK-administration tag-end baby boomer) too. Ministry to singles does need to be addressed in many dioceses and parishes. We could learn from our Protestant brothers and sisters on this one.
I think part of the problem is that the Protestant churches define “singles” using only one category whether never-married, widowed, or divorced. Whereas the Catholic Church often has separate ministries and activities for these groups of people. The Catholic Church is being cautious not to give the wrong idea to divorced persons who don’t have annulments and aren’t currently free to marry in the Church. Not wanting to give false hope or scandal. This is indeed a tricky area.
Theme 2 – the whole “Love Me, Love My Attitude” issue – This is, not surprisingly, the way American Catholics have been viewed in the secular media for quite some time. Those fiesty, independent, defiant “cafeteria Catholics,” God love ‘em. Obedience, devotion, quietly serving God – things like that don’t make spicy headlines.
But do we really want to live down to the dismal stereotypes? Do we want to cater to the liberal media’s biases? Most importantly, can we honestly say the Church and society are better off for all the disobedience and willfulness of the past 40-plus years? Are our own lives and the lives of our families and friends the better for it?
I know that misguided guilt can be harmful, and especially for children – I developed scrupulosity at one time from too much of it – but then out of that suffering came healing and a much deeper relationship with God. Not that I haven’t stumbled and sinned since then – but the Sacrament of Reconciliation helps me pick up and go forward again.
God can take my lemons and help me turn them into lemonade, instead of standing there wondering what to do with a bunch of stinky rotten lemons!
The opposite extreme from too much guilt is permissiveness and presumption. When we presume, we assume God’s mercy just means He will overlook our sins, no big deal, no need for true conversion. This is as spiritually and emotionally dangerous as a guilt overload. But at first, it seems to offer relief and a quick fix for the inner discomfort.
Well – can you say BALANCE?
Good news! There is another model, it’s balanced, and it’s positive! The John Paul II/Benedict XVI Catholics, that’s how I think of them. The young people who go to World Youth Days. The EWTN Catholics. The New Faithful (a great book!). They are unique individuals, too, each with a story to tell. Some have undergone incredible conversions. These folks are positive, loving, faithful to the Magisterium, and above all, joyful!
Yes, joyful, even in the midst of suffering. It is real. It is possible. And a large percentage of these Catholics are not stuffy old fossils, they’re young. They are the hope for the Church’s future. And they’re loving and living life to the fullest. They’re not bored. If you don’t know them, if you don’t try to learn about and get some of what they have, you don’t know what you’re missing. Seek them out. You won’t have to look further than this forum to find quite a few.
He’s devout, but likes to have fun as well. We can pray the rosary together, and also drink afterwards. 
I feel like an imposter in Mass, like I shouldn’t be there, and according to some people, I should pack up and go home. :dancing: