C
catharina
Guest
I promise you there are loads of GOOD parents around.
Plus in these days, there are actual “parenting classes.”
- Status
Plus in these days, there are actual “parenting classes.”
C
CountrySinger
Guest
Once I told her that she should have had the abortion.
Ironically, before her death, she was very pro life. I would just sit there and think “what the H____?”
I love my mother, don’t get me wrong.
C
cviolette
Guest
When they get older, it is really nice to have them close together. Next month my boys will be (15,16 and 17 years old). They fought all the time when they were little but are friends now
I also have a daughter who is 12.
C
catharina
Guest
Trust God and TAKE ACTION.
Defeat your ignorance.
Repeating:
I promise you there are loads of GOOD parents around.
Plus in these days, there are actual “parenting classes.”
K
kdragonfly
Guest
Wow…
I love my mom too. I couldn’t not love her, despite her faults. Suppose that’s good being that we are to honor our parents, lol.
C
cviolette
Guest
You don’t have to repeat the cycle. The fact that you worry and don’t want to be that way is important.
I had a pretty bad childhood. Alcoholic dad, sexual and emotionally abused. But I was determined to marry a man that would be a great father and to be the best mom I could be. I always wanted 7 or 8 kids. My husband wanted 2. We ended up with 4. I am nothing like either of my parents. My kids are healthy. athletic, very intelligent and great kids. So we must have done something right. I am still a mess from my childhood but it didn’t rub off on my kids.
C
CountrySinger
Guest
It is like those bumper stickers that say along the lines of “your mom was pro-life”. I never got behind the pro-life movement once my mom joined up. It would seem wrong somehow.
C
catharina
Guest
Terribly sad.
My sympathy.
K
kdragonfly
Guest
I suppose awareness is half the battle? It’s going to take a lot of prayer for me to figure things out.
Wow, so sorry to hear about your childhood. Big hugs!! :hug3:
C
cviolette
Guest
It doesn’t have to be that way. You will have nine months to fall in love with you child before you hold her/him. Just because you have a temper doesn’t mean you will be angry at your baby. Take anger management classes if you need to. But boy, when you first hold the precious baby that you helped create, you can’t help but fall in love. Now losing my temper with my teenage boys that is a different story
T
twoangels
Guest
kdragonfly,
This deal with what marriage is and what marriage isn’t. A marriage is invalid if the couple does not agree to entering into what a marriage is. By definition, “The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring.” Its about the family. Marriage exists primarily because human sexuality brings about life and with that life comes responsibility. Marriage binds the mother and father together in a union that is greater than romantic feelings and sentimentality. It takes that young, immature erotic love and dives it deep into the levels of the love that Christ preached - the love he demonstrated for us on the cross. And this creates a stable ground so that they can truly claim to be responsible with their sexual activity, accepting the fruits of their sexual union: children and fostering a responsible environment that does not permit them to abandon their responsibilities toward each other or their children simply because the cross is harder to bear than they expected.
It is a service. It requires that both individuals are truly ready, mature and fully competent toward handling the responsibilities of married life. Because of this, marriage is not for all. And those who do not consent to taking on the responsibilities of married life are not honestly consenting to marriage. And it is true that there are individuals who are incapable of giving matrimonial consent due to severe mental illness. The Church does address these issues.
That said, taking on caring for a handicapped child is not irresponsible. There is nothing immoral when a couple decides to go through with a pregnancy knowing that their child will be disabled. While we should do our part to care for the health of a child, we need to discern between having a true concern about being responsible parents and simply being afraid of the responsibilities and heavier cross of taking care of a special needs child. Our good intentions can be mixed with our selfish ones. That said, I think avoiding pregnancy through NFP due to medication that can cause birth defects may be a sufficent reason to use NFP very strictly. However, I’m assuming this medication is being added after the person is married. It is possible for circumstances to change after you’re married, but at the time of your wedding, the consent to accept the gift of children is a part of your wedding vows.
K
kentuckyliz
Guest
My mom told me I was an accident, but welcome. Not like she had a choice, I was born in 1965. (Roe V Wade was in 1973)
There aren’t near as many photographs of me in the family albums. In the silver cabinet there were two engraved baptism sippie cups, for my older brother and sister. I used to tease Mom about it, and for Christmas one year, I think I was about 23 or 24 years old, she gave me an engraved silver Baptism sippie cup. I burst into tears because I realize she felt guilty about not paying as much attention to me and trying to make it up to me, as if my teasing comments meant I was upset about it, but I wasn’t really. (It was before I knew I was an accident but welcomed.)
I was pretty much expected to be out of the house or in my own room and entertaining myself. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t that way for my older sibs.
I have no hard feelings. I have no doubt they loved me. Mom was the oldest daughter of a large family and both her parents had to work–during wartime, depression, rationing–even to try and get enough food for everybody. Sometimes they didn’t have a shilling to put in the electric meter. Mom pretty much raised her younger siblings. And then had her own family and she thought she’d be done at 2.
So, she had a shorter life span for that Pill use, and it failed anyway, and here I am.
I think after Roe v Wade there is the potential for any mom to make that statement about I could have aborted you. Legally true. Twisted version of the Bill Cosby “I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it” comedy line.
Still, I was conceived on vacation, so I think that’s why I’m so happy.
There aren’t near as many photographs of me in the family albums. In the silver cabinet there were two engraved baptism sippie cups, for my older brother and sister. I used to tease Mom about it, and for Christmas one year, I think I was about 23 or 24 years old, she gave me an engraved silver Baptism sippie cup. I burst into tears because I realize she felt guilty about not paying as much attention to me and trying to make it up to me, as if my teasing comments meant I was upset about it, but I wasn’t really. (It was before I knew I was an accident but welcomed.)
I was pretty much expected to be out of the house or in my own room and entertaining myself. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t that way for my older sibs.
I have no hard feelings. I have no doubt they loved me. Mom was the oldest daughter of a large family and both her parents had to work–during wartime, depression, rationing–even to try and get enough food for everybody. Sometimes they didn’t have a shilling to put in the electric meter. Mom pretty much raised her younger siblings. And then had her own family and she thought she’d be done at 2.
So, she had a shorter life span for that Pill use, and it failed anyway, and here I am.
I think after Roe v Wade there is the potential for any mom to make that statement about I could have aborted you. Legally true. Twisted version of the Bill Cosby “I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it” comedy line.
Still, I was conceived on vacation, so I think that’s why I’m so happy.
K
kdragonfly
Guest
Awww! I’m still glad you got your engraved sippie cup, even if a bit on the late side.My mom told me I was an accident, but welcome. Not like she had a choice, I was born in 1965. (Roe V Wade was in 1973)
There aren’t near as many photographs of me in the family albums. In the silver cabinet there were two engraved baptism sippie cups, for my older brother and sister. I used to tease Mom about it, and for Christmas one year, I think I was about 23 or 24 years old, she gave me an engraved silver Baptism sippie cup. I burst into tears because I realize she felt guilty about not paying as much attention to me and trying to make it up to me, as if my teasing comments meant I was upset about it, but I wasn’t really. (It was before I knew I was an accident but welcomed.)
I was pretty much expected to be out of the house or in my own room and entertaining myself. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t that way for my older sibs.
I have no hard feelings. I have no doubt they loved me. Mom was the oldest daughter of a large family and both her parents had to work–during wartime, depression, rationing–even to try and get enough food for everybody. Sometimes they didn’t have a shilling to put in the electric meter. Mom pretty much raised her younger siblings. And then had her own family and she thought she’d be done at 2.
So, she had a shorter life span for that Pill use, and it failed anyway, and here I am.
I think after Roe v Wade there is the potential for any mom to make that statement about I could have aborted you. Legally true. Twisted version of the Bill Cosby “I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it” comedy line.
Still, I was conceived on vacation, so I think that’s why I’m so happy.
A
agapewolf
Guest
Actually, by calling the Church’s marriage laws “insane and insulting” you were spouting off…that wasn’t very Christian of you, nor does it help “open dialogue”
Its not “according to me” , and no, that is not what I said.
B
BrokenFortress
Guest
One beautiful thing I think about Catholic marriage and no contraceptive use is the trust in God it brings. I have a horrible time trusting, not only in God, but it people in general.
But honestly, I’ve gotten better at it. And I really think that the reasoning for this is that I’ve put it in God’s hands and He’s helping me become better at trusting.
When my husband and I got married, I had been charting for NFP for about 6 months. So I knew my cycles. We were both virgins before we married. I knew that on our wedding night I’d just be entering my fertile phase. It was the beginning of it, so we had a chance to either conceive or not. We decided to leave it up to God. And well, if you look at my signature, you can see where that got us.
I think that if we had been open to using ABC, we wouldn’t be pregnant. And I’d have this false sense of security in myself. Because, you know, ABC isn’t 100% effective anyways.
But by trusting in God, I’m in a much better place spiritually. We’re not in the most ideal living situations right now, but I’m doing my best to trust that it will work out. Some days I do a better job at that than others. But, I think what’s important is to remember why we’re here. The goal is in the end. The little things that worry me now won’t matter in the end. What I’m called to do is to become a better Catholic and Christian. And I really do believe that being open to life is getting us there.
I think that’s one thing that a lot of people struggle with and that’s why they choose to use ABC. They believe that they’re in control, when they’re really not.
But honestly, I’ve gotten better at it. And I really think that the reasoning for this is that I’ve put it in God’s hands and He’s helping me become better at trusting.
When my husband and I got married, I had been charting for NFP for about 6 months. So I knew my cycles. We were both virgins before we married. I knew that on our wedding night I’d just be entering my fertile phase. It was the beginning of it, so we had a chance to either conceive or not. We decided to leave it up to God. And well, if you look at my signature, you can see where that got us.
I think that if we had been open to using ABC, we wouldn’t be pregnant. And I’d have this false sense of security in myself. Because, you know, ABC isn’t 100% effective anyways.
But by trusting in God, I’m in a much better place spiritually. We’re not in the most ideal living situations right now, but I’m doing my best to trust that it will work out. Some days I do a better job at that than others. But, I think what’s important is to remember why we’re here. The goal is in the end. The little things that worry me now won’t matter in the end. What I’m called to do is to become a better Catholic and Christian. And I really do believe that being open to life is getting us there.
I think that’s one thing that a lot of people struggle with and that’s why they choose to use ABC. They believe that they’re in control, when they’re really not.
C
catharina
Guest
Beautiful, thank you.One beautiful thing I think about Catholic marriage and no contraceptive use is the trust in God it brings. I have a horrible time trusting, not only in God, but it people in general.
But honestly, I’ve gotten better at it. And I really think that the reasoning for this is that I’ve put it in God’s hands and He’s helping me become better at trusting.
When my husband and I got married, I had been charting for NFP for about 6 months. So I knew my cycles. We were both virgins before we married. I knew that on our wedding night I’d just be entering my fertile phase. It was the beginning of it, so we had a chance to either conceive or not. We decided to leave it up to God. And well, if you look at my signature, you can see where that got us.
I think that if we had been open to using ABC, we wouldn’t be pregnant. And I’d have this false sense of security in myself. Because, you know, ABC isn’t 100% effective anyways.
But by trusting in God, I’m in a much better place spiritually. We’re not in the most ideal living situations right now, but I’m doing my best to trust that it will work out. Some days I do a better job at that than others. But, I think what’s important is to remember why we’re here. The goal is in the end. The little things that worry me now won’t matter in the end. What I’m called to do is to become a better Catholic and Christian. And I really do believe that being open to life is getting us there.
I think that’s one thing that a lot of people struggle with and that’s why they choose to use ABC. They believe that they’re in control, when they’re really not.
Also absolutely true.
Our lives are in the “hands of God.”
It’s most wise to follow HIS rules.
S
Sillara
Guest
Well, I don’t know that I would nominate myself for mother of the year. 
I try to be a good mother, though. And we have six children, from 12 years down to 7 months. Our large family is an extremely happy one. I won’t say we planned all our children. (Only #3 was actually planned.) But I wouldn’t exchange them for anything!
Oh, my husband and I are converts from Protestantism, too. Difficult as it can sometimes be to trust, it was the Church’s teachings on birth control which, being in line with the historic teachings of Christianity from the beginning, first drew me to look more deeply into the Church. We all know how that ends up!
The next thing you know, my husband and I are Catholic, and then our number children doubles!
I try to be a good mother, though. And we have six children, from 12 years down to 7 months. Our large family is an extremely happy one. I won’t say we planned all our children. (Only #3 was actually planned.) But I wouldn’t exchange them for anything!Oh, my husband and I are converts from Protestantism, too. Difficult as it can sometimes be to trust, it was the Church’s teachings on birth control which, being in line with the historic teachings of Christianity from the beginning, first drew me to look more deeply into the Church. We all know how that ends up!
The next thing you know, my husband and I are Catholic, and then our number children doubles!
C
catharina
Guest
lovely tribute to the Church.Well, I don’t know that I would nominate myself for mother of the year.
Oh, my husband and I are converts from Protestantism, too. Difficult as it can sometimes be to trust, it was the Church’s teachings on birth control which, being in line with the historic teachings of Christianity from the beginning, first drew me to look more deeply into the Church. We all know how that ends up!
thanks so much.
K
kdragonfly
Guest
At least chatting with other people here has proved to be a pleasant experience.
K
kdragonfly
Guest
Everyone else here has been awesome in terms of trying to help me and answer my questions, while you basically told me to shut up. I lived half my childhood as a Jehovah’s Witness where I wasn’t allowed to question anything, and I’m certainly not going to let you tell me that I can’t speak.
Have a nice evening!
- Status