Karin:
Yes lets…I have gone through this …
In regards to visitation…my ex can see his son any time he wants…now the question is does his son want to see him!!!
In regards to support…I did not ask for or want spousal support but I do get child support. That is a joke less than $400.00/month for a teenager. Considering his father makes very good money (over $50,000) and has no debt.
In regards to custody…I have full custody of my son…I guess my ex could of asked for it but he did not…who knows why? But if his actions since our divorce are any indication it could be becuase he did not want to be burdend with a child.
From
Love and Respect
Her husband, the former CEO of one of the largest drug store chains in America, wrote Emerson. “Thanks again for a wonderful experience at the lodge. I believe that your understanding of the nature of male emotional needs (male love I call it) and your distillation of that into “respect”… is a real breakthrough. Your understanding of female emotional needs is no less accurate, but… has been… understood and taught.”
Just as love is to be unconditional, so respect is to be unconditional.
Many wives share, “I don’t feel respect for him. If he loved me, then maybe I’d show him more respect.” When a husband hears this, it deflates him in the same way a wife is deflated when hearing, “I don’t feel love for her. If she respected me, then maybe I’d show her more love.”
A business woman in New York wrote, “Remember me? I’m the one with all the Harvard degrees who had never heard of the concept of unconditional respect. Your message has had a profound, positive impact on our marriage… I have tried to understand the meaning of unconditional respect and to really respect (my husband). I’ve had the opportunity to observe in other couples the destructiveness of the wife’s lack of respect. I believe that you’re onto something huge here… what is really revolutionary in your message is the concept of unconditional respect… (T)he respect message itself is really gender neutral: We both owe each other unconditional respect, it’s just that the men give it more easily and need it more… It seems that in the old woman obey me’ context the women often were treated with neither love nor respect. Now our society has swung in the opposite direction to a love-dominated marriage and the men are suffering the most…”
Curious?
Do you owe it to yourself to find out what all of this means?
As a wife, you are always looking for insight and tools to enrich your marriage, if not save your marriage. Have confidence that this Love and Respect message will create mutual understanding.
Beyond that, if it is true that your husband’s mother tongue is “respect,” he will be more prone to talk about the marriage when he hears his natural language. Men are motivated by respect. Many men live for respect. Emerson asked a hand surgeon, “Do you want your associates to love you or respect you?” He laughed. He said, “Respect me. Absolutely. If they loved me, I’d get concerned about it.”
Sarah, Emerson’s wife, wants to create a sub-line to the Love and Respect marriage conference. “The conference your husband wants to attend.”
To be sure, he wants love, as you want respect. However, Ephesians 5:33 is teaching a wife needs to feel loved and a husband needs to feel respected. Peter echoes this to a wife in 1 Peter 3:2.
Respect is huge to a husband. Men always come up to Emerson and Sarah after the conference saying something to the effect, “You connected all the dots.” A friend who runs two huge athletic clubs told Emerson recently, “As I sat there listening, I kept saying to my wife, ‘That’s how I feel. That’s how I feel.’” One fellow said that his mother was a feminist who wrote books on feminism and eventually divorce his father. As he listened to the Love and Respect message he commented, “I saw my life going before me. You were filming my life.”
more…
perhaps ship them all to some deserted island?(JUST KIDDING)
