Boys will be boys—and should be, to become true men

  • Thread starter Thread starter JimG
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
I have always hated the statement that “boys will be boys.”
It’s like whatever young men do, good or bad, it is okay, because after all, they are boys. 😒
All boys should be raised to praise God in all that they say and do. 🙏
They should be raised to respect others and to treat others just as they would like to be treated by others. 👍
🙏🙏🙏
 
I think dads are the most important influence in getting boys to become good men. This is not a great example, but it amused me.

My son is a real “man’s man” and a very good family man. He and his wife have five boys, the oldest being age 7. Last sunday at Mass, I noticed that the two oldest had their suits and ties on, even though that would be hot for a little kid. I mentioned that to their mom and she replied that the boys insisted on wearing them because their dad wears a coat and tie to Mass. The smaller boys don’t “get it” yet, she said, but undoubtedly will in time. With my son it’s a matter of respect for the Mass, and those boys are getting the example.
 
fj2020 said:
Back “in the day”, I recall that “boys will be boys” was use as an excuse for a lot of over-the-top, inappropriate behavior by young men who should have known better.
Click to expand...
Unfortunately this is still true, in my experience. The full phrase as I knew it is “Boys will be boys, so girls must take care.” I’d hope we don’t endorse that!
 
fj2020 said:
Children should be raised to be the best grown-ups they can be, regardless of gender. They should be encouraged to have a variety of skills and interests. And to have positive personal qualities, as well. Back “in the day”, I recall that “boys will be boys” was use as an excuse for a lot of over-the-top, inappropriate behavior by young men who should have known better.
Click to expand...
I don’t think the article in the National Catholic Register is condoning sin.

The phrase “boys will be boys” does not condone sin - esp to practicing Christians.

It might mean that to secular people, but not to religious peoples.
 
It means that to a lot of religious people, sadly. It might not be right, but I don’t think we can deny that an awful lot of religious people, Catholics included, have excused sin often enough.
 
I think the article just tried to come up with a catchy title and the second part was supposed to be a “twist.”
 
DarkLight said:
It means that to a lot of religious people, sadly. It might not be right, but I don’t think we can deny that an awful lot of religious people, Catholics included, have excused sin often enough.
Click to expand...
True statement, good point
 
Last edited:
fj2020 said:
Back “in the day”, I recall that “boys will be boys” was use as an excuse for a lot of over-the-top, inappropriate behavior by young men who should have known better.
Click to expand...
Oftentimes it still is. But it can also refer to over-the-top inappropriate behavior that’s not bad, or hurtful, or sinful. Running around in your underpants or naked in a dark neighborhood is inappropriate, but not particularly harmful. Riding a skateboard through the school hallways isn’t necessarily a mortal sin. Having stick fights, or jumping off of garage roofs, or daring each other to eat worms might be stupid, or ill-advised, but they’re not bad for society.
Drunk driving, sexual assaults, stealing cars—those are bad all the time, and that’s where the excuses “boys will be boys,” or my favorite quote from so many college coaches in reference to their athletes, “we’ve all made mistakes” fall flat. As if dealing drugs from a stolen car is the kind of thing we’ve all done in our lives.
 
Last edited:
0Scarlett_nidiyilii said:
People can be aware of an injustice but literally not have enough time to address it, if their waking hours are filled with the tasks of bodily survival. It takes time to get the word out, to organize, to do the things necessary to make change happen.
Click to expand...
Yes, it can take time to organize a cause. But we are talking about attitudes that should not have been. There’s no “post-industrial world” necessary to give women the vote nor acknowledge that women are just as intelligent and capable as men. This man’s comments reek of apologetics for such things to my read.
 
Ok, so I think the author of the article is trying to argue that feminization of boys is what is ruining men, but I don’t agree at all. Less physical activity and strength does not equal feminization. Physical activity is good for everyone, male and female. I think what is really ruining men is influences that tell them that violence and lack of vulnerability are “masculine.” A lot of this comes from porn. Men are porn-sick in our culture, and it has nothing to do with feminism but that’s just my two cents.
 
twf said:
40.png
on_the_hill:
old Hollywood musicals, jazz
Click to expand...
By the “John Wayne” standards of masculinity expressed by some conservative Americans on CAF, this alone makes you a bonafide queer, communist, feminist, good for nothing…

I exaggerate slightly…

Of course, these same guys probably struggle to understand that traditionally Catholic priests tended to use a LOT of lace (look at the ICRSS priests…) and yet were very masculine. Or that prior to the early 20th century, little boys were decked up in pink and little girls in blue…
Click to expand...
This seems like a way to marginalize boys and men who aren’t stereotypical alpha male types. While I enjoyed some “masculine” activities, like driving a tractor or helping my grandfather cut firewood, I loathed working on cars, and much preferred music and reading.

There’s a healthy kind of masculinity, and then there’s the swaggering toxic kind, and I don’t think anyone should be pigeonholed into certain predefined behaviors just because of sex. My interests were never in working with my hands, and though I’ve taught myself a bit of construction over the years, I have absolutely no love of it.
 
fj2020 said:
Okay, so what does “boys will be boys” mean to practicing Christians? And, I am not really judging here, because I definitely did my share of that through the years and it certainly would be classified as “secular” stuff. Now I am living out, “old boys will be old boys”, but hopefully in harmless and benign ways.
Click to expand...
Just doing masculine stuff but without sinning.
  • wrestling
  • rough housing
  • teasing sisters or little brothers
  • teasing girls they secretly like
  • making a "boys only clubhouse (while area girls have girl only clubhouses)
  • snowball fights
  • getting filthy after playing outside
  • Playing sports & getting hurt playing sports
  • getting hurt trying to do tricks on their bike or skateboard
  • dunking people in the pool
  • climbing trees
  • falling out of trees
  • play war games or paintball
  • play sword fighting
  • playing cops and robbers
  • playing tackle capture the flag
  • making campfires in backyard without adult supervision
  • playing baseball in backyard and breaking a house window
Things like that
 
And there are some girls that do a lot of these things, too. I’ve known a few women who were tomboys when they were growing up. In some cases, it was probably because all their siblings were boys.
 
Last edited:
phil19034 said:
Just doing masculine stuff but without sinning.
  • wrestling
  • rough housing
  • teasing sisters or little brothers
  • teasing girls they secretly like
  • making a "boys only clubhouse (while area girls have girl only clubhouses)
  • snowball fights
  • getting filthy after playing outside
  • Playing sports & getting hurt playing sports
  • getting hurt trying to do tricks on their bike or skateboard
  • dunking people in the pool
  • climbing trees
  • falling out of trees
  • play war games or paintball
  • play sword fighting
  • playing cops and robbers
  • playing tackle capture the flag
  • making campfires in backyard without adult supervision
  • playing baseball in backyard and breaking a house window
Things like that
Click to expand...
@phil19034 Why do you characterize the above as ‘masculine stuff’? Do you think girls shouldn’t do these things?
 
Last edited:
Thorolfr said:
And there are some girls that do a lot of these things, too. I’ve known a few women who were tomboys when they were growing up. In some cases, it was probably because all their siblings were boys.
Click to expand...
I have no issue with TomBoys as long as (1) parents encourage or allow the girls to become transgender and (2) don’t force boys to play with the tomgirl.

If it’s organic, that’s cool. If it’s forced, that’s not
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top