Can an unmarried Catholic couple live together if

[DarkLight]

Justifying the situation never makes it right. Good grief, it’s the times we’re living in that makes anything acceptable if we try hard enough to make excuses for it. Just listen to yourself!!! That is NOT Catholic thinking!! God Bless, Memaws

Can you explain the difference between “engaging in moral reasoning” and “justifying the situation”? Because in my experience the difference often seems to be whether or not you agree with the conclusion.

 

[Memaw]

No, there isn’t always an alternative. If there were, we wouldn’t have homeless people.

My BIL and I don’t get along, at all. I haven’t liked him since the day I met him.

But if he needed a place to live, he could move in here. And it wouldn’t matter if my husband were living or dead.

Have you ever gone out and invited a homeless person into your home to live. Put your money where your mouth is! God Bless, Memaw

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

I just wanted to respond to the subtopic of the thread.

If my sister needed shelter and asked my husband for shelter, the moral thing to do is offer shelter.

The immoral thing to do is for my husband to deny shelter to my sister under fear of scandalizing those who would gossip and detract a charitable action.

 

[Memaw]

I just wanted to respond to the subtopic of the thread.

If my sister needed shelter and asked my husband for shelter, the moral thing to do is offer shelter.

The immoral thing to do is for my husband to deny shelter to my sister under fear of scandalizing those who would gossip and detract a charitable action.

I don’t think we’re talking about ‘shelter’. The topic of the thread is "Can an unmarried Catholic couple living together if…"God Bless, Memaw

 

[DarkLight]

I don’t think we’re talking about ‘shelter’. The topic of the thread is "Can an unmarried Catholic couple living together if…"God Bless, Memaw

No, that would be the title of the thread. The topic of the thread is answering the question of whether it would be moral to allow a romantic partner who was in need of shelter to stay in your house, as is asked in the first post.

 

[Blue_Rose]

I don’t think we’re talking about ‘shelter’. The topic of the thread is "Can an unmarried Catholic couple living together if…"God Bless, Memaw

The topic is if the partner was homeless.

There’s not always an alternative. I’ve been technically homeless before in my teens. I was thrown out of home by family and had to sleep in a hotel.
Other times I’ve had to sleep on a relatives floor but they didn’t want me there.

I also know of youth from working in Youth Work who ended up homeless because their family was abusive or on drugs so they could not live with relatives because it was dangerous.
Homeless shelters were full so they ended up back on the street. Some died.

So you would rather someone die than move into a spare bedroom at their partners home?

It’s possible. It could happen to me again.

 

[JamalChristophr]

So you would rather someone die than move into a spare bedroom at their partners home?

It’s possible. It could happen to me again.

I don’t wish that at all. But I think perhaps there are some other options to explore that you may not be considering. I think that would be a good practical direction for the thread to go in, but that’s just me.

Jesus Bless You, My Friend!!

 

[Irishmom2]

But I think perhaps there are some other options to explore that you may not be considering. I think that would be a good practical direction for the thread to go in, but that’s just me.

What don’t people understand on this thread? Why do you not believe that someone might actually have NO WHERE to go? Do you think the OP is lying to you when she says she has no where to go?

 

[Blue_Rose]

What about if the man lives with other family, such as he lives with a parent… Is that still bad ?

 

[Blue_Rose]

What don’t people understand on this thread? Why do you not believe that someone might actually have NO WHERE to go? Do you think the OP is lying to you when she says she has no where to go?

I’m not in this situation exactly but it’s a question I had to ask because it’s a possibility.

 

[Irishmom2]

I’m not in this situation exactly but it’s a question I had to ask because it’s a possibility.

I understand that. But I am speaking theoretically as well. If everything were actually as you are stating and you had no where to go, why can’t people understand that some people don’t have any other options? No family, no friends.

 

[DarkLight]

What don’t people understand on this thread? Why do you not believe that someone might actually have NO WHERE to go? Do you think the OP is lying to you when she says she has no where to go?

I think the OP said it was a hypothetical case.

But yes, nowhere to go does happen. I’m staying with a male friend (not a boyfriend) because I really don’t have anywhere else to go right now. I can’t work, my family’s toxic enough to ruin my health, and shelters just aren’t particularly good options.

 

[JamalChristophr]

What about if the man lives with other family, such as he lives with a parent… Is that still bad ?

That would make things better.

You said at one point this was all hypothetical, but frankly I’m a little confused.

In the end, this all comes down to prudential judgement, it seems to me. I think a faithful Catholic should think carefully about what they do, but it’s the person that has to make the choice.

There is no specific chapter in the Catechism or the Bible that will tell you exactly what to do. God did give us free will for a reason and a brain.

I like what Mother Teresa used to say about things or person sometimes.

“It’s between him [her] and God.”

God Bless!

 

[Blue_Rose]

I understand that. But I am speaking theoretically as well. If everything were actually as you are stating and you had no where to go, why can’t people understand that some people don’t have any other options? No family, no friends.

Yes exactly.

 

[Blue_Rose]

That would make things better.

You said at one point this was all hypothetical, but frankly I’m a little confused.

In the end, this all comes down to prudential judgement, it seems to me. I think a faithful Catholic should think carefully about what they do, but it’s the person that has to make the choice.

There is no specific chapter in the Catechism or the Bible that will tell you exactly what to do. God did give us free will for a reason and a brain.

I like what Mother Teresa used to say about things or person sometimes.

“It’s between him [her] and God.”

God Bless!

Sorry Jamal but it seems to me you think it’s better for a person to be sleeping on the street with a risk of harm than just staying in a partners spare room which I’m struggling to understand. It’s like you are more worried about scandal than a human life.

 

[JamalChristophr]

why can’t people understand that some people don’t have any other options? No family, no friends.

It is possible that there are no other options but not proven.

If I were me in this situation, I think I would maybe start by telling my difficulties to the holiest, wisest, and kindest priest or lay person in the Church I could find.

We Catholics are not islands of indviduals- at least, it’s not supposed to be that way. That is what I believe. There may be a family that you have absolutely no knowledge of right now that would be very happy and willing to take you in. It just seems to me that could be one possibility.

 

[thewanderer]

Justifying the situation never makes it right. Good grief, it’s the times we’re living in that makes anything acceptable if we try hard enough to make excuses for it. Just listen to yourself!!! That is NOT Catholic thinking!! God Bless, Memaws

I am not justifying anything. I am merely explaining the complexities of determining the morality in such a situation as this.

Also, if you wish to accuse me of saying something contrary to Catholic teaching please have the courtesy to provide an authoritative teaching from the Church to show that I am incorrect. If you can do so I will of course take back anything false I have said and work to change my view to match that of the Church. If you cannot then I will respectfully disagree with you.

 

[JamalChristophr]

Sorry Jamal but it seems to me you think it’s better for a person to be sleeping on the street with a risk of harm than just staying in a partners spare room which I’m struggling to understand. It’s like you are more worried about scandal than a human life.

No, I never once mentioned scandal. So that had nothing to do with it.

I will tell you right now:

**If you are on the steet and you literally have nowhere else to go, go stay at your friends’s house.

That is my advice.
**

 

[Blue_Rose]

It is possible that there are no other options but not proven.

If I were me in this situation, I think I would maybe start by telling my difficulties to the holiest, wisest, and kindest priest or lay person in the Church I could find.

We Catholics are not islands of indviduals- at least, it’s not supposed to be that way. That is what I believe. There may be a family that you have absolutely no knowledge of right now that would be very happy and willing to take you in. It just seems to me that could be one possibility.

Yes that would be wise to do.
It would be easier for Catholics because we have compassionate people. It would be a holy thing to do to accept a person into your home that had nowhere to go.

But finding a long term place to stay can take time and a person might need to just stay short term at their partners house until they find somewhere.

 

[DarkLight]

It is possible that there are no other options but not proven.

If I were me in this situation, I think I would maybe start by telling my difficulties to the holiest, wisest, and kindest priest or lay person in the Church I could find.

We Catholics are not islands of indviduals- at least, it’s not supposed to be that way. That is what I believe. There may be a family that you have absolutely no knowledge of right now that would be very happy and willing to take you in. It just seems to me that could be one possibility.

I don’t know about you, but in my case I’d be extremely nervous about letting some random family take me in, and I definitely wouldn’t stay anywhere with kids. I have certain mental health issues that a lot of people don’t understand, and that given the choice I would not expose children to. Honestly I’d rather risk the scandal than have a bunch of kids present for the russian roulette that my medical care is.