Catholic conservatism on the rise as priest refuses funeral for 'sinner'

[buffalo]

Ani Ibi:

Much obliged. I neglected to mention my new book, as yet awaiting release this November:

Pet rocks: Nafta and The New Ontology, a collection of essays
forward by Arnold Schwartneggar
essays by Edward Kennedy, Jerry Springer, Christianne Amanpour, Cardinal Levada, Tom Cruise, Tammy Faye Baker, Chief Big Pontiac, Fr Pavone, Sister Joan, and Albert Camu

I am over the moon that you have invested your authority into a committee. I was secretly hoping that you would. The very idea of seeing consensus in action is a thrill – a real thrill. I will start strongarming committee members immediately. Er, who might those be?

I see you threw in Fr Pavone. Relativism will tolerate 99% truth to accomplish 1% error. Excellent move.

You will also note the effectiveness of my authority. Fix has ceased to exist.

 

[fix]

buffalo:

I knew it - you are a virtual reality. And the absolute truth is that judging me would turn me away from the truth. You have no right to impose your intolerant truth on me. I will not submit to your authority for to me you don’t even exist. I will not accept you attempts at what you claim is charity through fraternal correction. Who are you to judge me? Accept me as I am.

Alan - are you watching all this? - relativism played out real time on CAF.

The proper approach to deal with this issue is endless dialogue. By dialogue I mean never pointing out objective truth, as this may make you feel guilty, and by speaking in a monotone that in no way will allow you to misperceive my constant expression of superficial empathy that should not be confused with the concept of true charity.

Accept you as you are? Yes, all are welcome and that specfically means that you may sin in a manifest way that scandalizes others and I may never speak of it in a disapproving way because to do so violates the two great commandments given by God that I choose to interpet to mean anything goes as long as you say that is how it is.

I hope the above has been fruitful and edifying.

I exist only if you think I exist.

 

[buffalo]

fix:

The proper approach to deal with this issue is endless dialogue. By dialogue I mean never pointing out objective truth, as this may make you feel guilty, and by speaking in a monotone that in no way will allow you to misperceive my constant expression of superficial empathy that should not be confused with the concept of true charity.

Accept you as you are? Yes, all are welcome and that specfically means that you may sin in a manifest way that scandalizes others and I may never speak of it in a disapproving way because to do so violates the two great commandments given by God that I choose to interpet to mean anything goes as long as you say that is how it is.

I hope the above has been fruitful and edifying.

You exist again?

Yes, our committee has a 20 year dialogue plan. But, as soon as we get the committee set we will begin to propagandize our expected findings. Anyone who does not go along will be immediately labelled as small minded and intolerant. We figure that this endless dialogue will grow our ranks. We will water down our message to appeal to the free-thinking masses.\

I almost forgot - to bolster our credibility we will get a documentary on PBS and the network news.

 

[fix]

buffalo:

You exist again?

I reject the patriarchal notion of existism. We are all adults and do not need any man-made rules to inflict existism on us.

 

[buffalo]

Ani Ibi:

Much obliged. I neglected to mention my new book, as yet awaiting release this November:

Pet rocks: Nafta and The New Ontology, a collection of essays
forward by Arnold Schwartneggar
essays by Edward Kennedy, Jerry Springer, Christianne Amanpour, Cardinal Levada, Tom Cruise, Tammy Faye Baker, Chief Big Pontiac, Fr Pavone, Sister Joan, and Albert Camu

I am over the moon that you have invested your authority into a committee. I was secretly hoping that you would. The very idea of seeing consensus in action is a thrill – a real thrill. I will start strongarming committee members immediately. Er, who might those be?

You gotta get Dan Brown (of DaVinci Hoax fame) and the author of those Harry Pot books.

 

[fix]

fix:

I reject the patriarchal notion of existism. We are all adults and do not need any man-made rules to inflict existism on us.

After all the Church was wrong about usury and Galileo, so She may be wrong about whether one exists or not.

 

[buffalo]

fix:

I reject the patriarchal notion of existism. We are all adults and do not need any man-made rules to inflict existism on us.

True - private interpretation will be the axiom of the day.

 

[Ani_Ibi]

buffalo:

I think you should start with AlanfromWichita. He can bring many relativists with him. A little investment for you with a big payoff.

I’m starting at the standard point of entry for committees: tea, cake, and whining.

 

[buffalo]

Ani Ibi:

I am over the moon that you have invested your authority into a committee.

You are aware that committees are the solution to everything.

 

[Ani_Ibi]

buffalo:

I see you threw in Fr Pavone. Relativism will tolerate 99% truth to accomplish 1% error. Excellent move.

What about Cardinal Levada?

buffalo:

You will also note the effectiveness of my authority. Fix has ceased to exist.

I am truly amazed. Never have I seen such effective authority.

Pssst! Fix! I will recognize your existence for a small contribution of Granny Smith apples (2 to the base 16) or, failing that, say, everything in your lunch box for a year. And an American pizza and watery beer. :bounce:

 

[buffalo]

Ani Ibi:

Pssst! Fix! I will recognize your existence for a small contribution of Granny Smith apples (2 to the base 16) or, failing that, say, everything in your lunch box for a year. And an American pizza and watery beer. :bounce:

Fix is an orthodox eater - can you stomach that?

 

[Ani_Ibi]

fix:

The proper approach to deal with this issue is endless dialogue.

Sheesh! Fix! What fun! Almost as much fun as a subcommittee. Oh! Oh! What about a Subcommittee on Endless Dialogue? That will free up the main committee for tea, cake, and whining.

fix:

By dialogue I mean never pointing out objective truth, as this may make you feel guilty, and by speaking in a monotone that in no way will allow you to misperceive my constant expression of superficial empathy that should not be confused with the concept of true charity.

And breathing through one’s ears so that no one can get a word in edgewise. That’s dialogue for me. Yep. I’m getting a kumbaya feeling already.

fix:

Accept you as you are?

Yes, of course! For who you are is a potential clone of – you guessed it – moi!

fix:

Yes, all are welcome

Except those we choose to stigmatize, ostracize, and persecute.

fix:

and that specfically means that you may sin in a manifest way that scandalizes others and I may never speak of it in a disapproving way because to do so violates the two great commandments given by God that I choose to interpet to mean anything goes as long as you say that is how it is.

Anything goes! Oh! Oh! I get goose pimples thinking about it. Can we have chaos every second Thursday?

fix:

I hope the above has been fruitful and edifying.

It’s been edifying, but until I see those apples…need I say more? Wink wink nod nod.

fix:

I exist only if you think I exist.

‘You’ meaning ‘me’.

 

[Ani_Ibi]

buffalo:

You exist again?

I think therefore he is.

buffalo:

Yes, our committee has a 20 year dialogue plan.

Is there a blah-blah-woof-woof clause?

buffalo:

But, as soon as we get the committee set we will begin to propagandize our expected findings.

Newspeak and meaningless gestures?

buffalo:

Anyone who does not go along will be immediately labelled as small minded and intolerant.

I propose that people be labelled a priori. Let’s not even ask them if they want to go along. Let’s just cut them loose and leave them behind. As a lesson in point.

buffalo:

We figure that this endless dialogue will grow our ranks.

We have ranks? Can I be a Generalissimo?

buffalo:

We will water down our message to appeal to the free-thinking masses.

Oh heck, why even bother having a message? Let’s just argue for the sake of arguing. As for appeal, I’m torn. The stick or the carrot?

buffalo:

I almost forgot - to bolster our credibility we will get a documentary on PBS and the network news.

We need a pixel board on Times Square. And a Goodyear blimp for golf tournaments.

 

[buffalo]

Ani Ibi:

Much obliged. I neglected to mention my new book, as yet awaiting release this November:

Pet rocks: Nafta and The New Ontology, a collection of essays
forward by Arnold Schwartneggar
essays by Edward Kennedy, Jerry Springer, Christianne Amanpour, Cardinal Levada, Tom Cruise, Tammy Faye Baker, Chief Big Pontiac, Fr Pavone, Sister Joan, and Albert Camu

I am over the moon that you have invested your authority into a committee. I was secretly hoping that you would. The very idea of seeing consensus in action is a thrill – a real thrill. I will start strongarming committee members immediately. Er, who might those be?

Contact the Clinton’s, they love to serve on committees. People go gaga over them. And they are so good at defining terms, such as IS. Once we convince people IS isn’t, the rest will be simple.

And they will carry Bibles to convince people of their sincerity. Hillary will get the women for us with her pro-death blather, and her genuine and unselfish service.

 

[Ani_Ibi]

fix:

I reject the patriarchal notion of existism.

If this means that I get no apples, then think again. Surely you mean that you accept wholeheartedly buffalo’s authoritarian snatching away of your existence while being eternally grateful for my disobedience in restoring it to you immediately. Ah! buffalo and ani! The nouveau ordre of virtual twinism.

buffalo:

We are all adults

Speak for yourself.

buffalo:

and do not need any man-made rules to inflict existism on us.

Oh! Silly me! This is the overture to whining. I didn’t know we had started already. I see buffalo has eaten all the cake and the tea is cold.

 

[Ani_Ibi]

buffalo:

You gotta get Dan Brown (of DaVinci Hoax fame) and the author of those Harry Pot books.

You mean The Dan Brown Code by Leonardo da Vinci? Harry Potter as Metaphor for Sister Joan by Bart Simpson?

 

[Ani_Ibi]

fix:

After all the Church was wrong about usury and Galileo, so She may be wrong about whether one exists or not.

Wrong? What place does ‘wrongness’ have in endless dialogue? ‘Premature’ or ‘misplaced’ or ‘of questionable relevance’ I believe is the terminology du jour. Or did I miss an unofficial post hoc committee meeting?

 

[Ani_Ibi]

buffalo:

True - private interpretation will be the axiom of the day.

Oh! A novel addition to endless dialogue. Everyone babbling at the same time, paying no attention whatsoever to anyone else. Extra points for rude interruptions.

 

[buffalo]

I think as a first politically correct agenda item - I propose funerals for everybody, with plenty of speeches about how “good” they were, and how absolutely sure we are they are in a better place. This even works for atheists!

 

[Ani_Ibi]

buffalo:

Fix is an orthodox eater - can you stomach that?

Orthodox with cheese or orthodox with jalapeno peppers?