Catholic dating websites. Ummmm

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SacredHeartBassist said:
I probably wouldn’t date a woman who described herself as a feminist either. Overwhelming majority of them, excluding the pro-life feminists, are pro pornography, pro abortion, and pro gay marriage. I can get behind a Catherine MacKinnon type though.
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Some men have suggested in this thread to go after strong women types, and you have baulked. At every possibility you bring up money, want a prenup.

This is not about equality. This is about ego and the self.
Irishmom2 said:
He started a thread about Catholic dating sites and the thread has deteriorated into personal attacks telling the OP he needs therapy and is not ready to marry?
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Because he said he has trust issues himself, and I am saying it would be beneficial for him to prior seeking out a relationship to seek therapy. That is not a personal attack, unless having mental illness or other issues is bad. I push back on that notion completely. I have stayed helpful and friendly throughout this exchange.

Let’s step back here, and realise we are talking about divorce and prenups in a Catholic forum.
 
There is big lack of “love” and “compassion” in these statements.
 
LittleFlower said:
Let’s step back here, and realise we are talking about divorce and prenups in a Catholic forum.
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No, let’s step back and see what the purpose of this thread was. It is thoroughly off topic at the expense of the OP.
 
SacredHeartBassist said:
I never really thought about if I wanted an entrepreneur Catholic woman. Honestly I wouldn’t want her to invest my money. I’m pretty fiscally conservative.
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Lara said:
So far, you could consider dating a woman who is very busy, very talented or very creative. This type of women doesn’t mind if her husband is off doing his own thing, and isn’t as needy.
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You never responded to Lara I am pretty sure, and you don’t want a entrepreneur type. So what do you want? Not feminist, a devout Catholic woman who doesn’t touch your Uke or your money. I haven’t heard anything else or a positive attribute other than the faith one. Not I would love an outdoorsy woman, or a woman who is creative, or a woman who likes to play with cards.

@OsculeturMeOsculo No, pretty sure there isn’t. Suggesting therapy is love.
 
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Watch it folks. This could easily derail into a banfest. On both sides.
 
SacredHeartBassist said:
Why does it have to be so hard to find someone who likes me back for the right reasons and is normal and devoutly catholic
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You literally asked why. Flag me, but it’s my honest opinion that you are not an attractive candidate to many—and that is regardless of your wealth. It’s your treatment of women, and the fact you are willing to most likely enter into an marriage, with a prenup which will make it invalid, like @Xanthippe_Voorhees has illustrated and tried to explain.
 
SacredHeartBassist said:
the prenup would be written so that for the first few years it would be more advantageous for her to stay married than get divorced but if she was with me for 20+ years if she divorced me she’d then receive more than she would had she just divorced me without the prenup.

I think it’s smart to do that. If you think that’s financial abuse, you need help. It’s not like i’d be keeping her married against her will. She’d just agree to receive less if we divorce soon.
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This is the type of idea I’d expect from a lawyer, but not from any man, Catholic or not, contemplating a lifelong commitment.

If any guy ever pitched this idea to me in a marriage context, I’d probably laugh out loud for about 15 minutes and then put his number on block.
 
LittleFlower said:
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SacredHeartBassist:
Why does it have to be so hard to find someone who likes me back for the right reasons and is normal and devoutly catholic
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You literally asked why. Flag me, but it’s my honest opinion that you are not an attractive candidate to many—and that is regardless of your wealth. It’s your treatment of women, and the fact you are willing to most likely enter into an marriage, with a prenup which will make it invalid, like @Xanthippe_Voorhees has illustrated and tried to explain.
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It’s not even me. It’s canon law that I’m talking about. I’d love @SacredHeartBassist (or anyone else for that matter) to prove of even one case where canon law allowed someone to have a prenup that was solely focused on the disbursement of marital assets in the case of divorce that did not involve pre-existing children. In particular one that was written to circumvent marital laws on the books. From everything I’ve ever read and can find, it would be an impediment to marriage vows.
 
SacredHeartBassist said:
changing my password to something i don’t know and logging out. not coming back. this website disappointed me today. i liked this forum a lot. i met some really nice people. maybe i do need therapy or i’m not good enough to date or to marry. thanks for being dicks about it
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I can’t speak for others but I’m not sure why you are so upset. I do not hate you. I don’t dislike you. I do not think you are a bad person.

Everyone can benefit from therapy. Yes, even you. You do have some particulars that would be healthy to work on.

You are “good enough” to date and marry, but you have some very troublesome ideas that need to be mended.

It would be great if you could show me where you are right about prenups for the purpose you want them for. I will then sincerely apologize for being incorrect. As far as I can tell your requirment makes you unable to vow to marry.
 
SacredHeartBassist said:
maybe i do need therapy or i’m not good enough to date or to marry. thanks for being dicks about it
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No one said you were not good enough to marry. I suggested therapy because of your trust issues, that you brought up. That was never intended to be a stab or jab, because mental health and problems affect so many people and I would never joke about it.

You asked why you weren’t being successful, many of us have given honest answers. It can be difficult to hear. I have had to hear some brutal ones, as have many here, in our lives.

We have tried to engage in a dialogue with you. I asked what you actually wanted from a partner attribute wise, but you never responded. You could meet someone offline in clubs, or Catholic hiking groups, etc.

It all focussed itself on money and the prenup, it stayed there because of grave concerns.

If you want to go, do so. Sometimes we all go yay together here, and sometimes we don’t. It’s the internet. 😉
 
Don’t let one thread that went off the rails drive you away.

As for therapy… I’ve been there, and done that. Trust me, **a lot ** of us have. It doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with us, or we’re bad people. We just need some help working through things.
 
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Lawyers that have their own practice have to have clients. These clients have to actually pay too. But most lawyers bill by time spent, in fractions of an hour. It gets quite pricey. They might get extra money after the bills are paid or might miss a paycheck if no money is coming in. You have to have a decent number of clients in order to pay staff, bills, taxes and still make money. Or have just a few rich clients who generate a huge amount of business.
 
Look, bass playa

I don’t think you need therapy, but you do need to meet a woman who loves you and does not want or need a financial incentive to stay married to you for X number of years and is going to stay with you because she loves you the way the wedding vows say, and hopefully you will love AND trust her so much that this whole idea will seem as silly to you as it right now does to me.

Such people do exist and those of us who have been married a long time have generally found one.

I will say a special prayer that you meet one that God has hand picked for you and maybe then you will understand this whole conversation better.
 
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