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DarkLight
Guest
All I’ve got is a spare chair. Although I know I’ve had times before where I’ve literally fallen asleep on the bathroom floor because I was so worn out. So a chair might not be so bad.
DITTO, conservative and not ever begrudging someone going through hard times getting help from these programs. Good luck DarkLight.If nothing else you can get a basic income, health insurance, food income, even tuition assistance if you need help going back to school. AND you can rest easy knowing that people going through hard times, such as yourself, are EXACTLY what these programs are for…and this is all coming from a small government conservative here.![]()
Thanks. The problem right now is more health and energy than money (not that I haven’t spent my time both on assistance and in what we call the “donut hole” of assistance). But I’m making a reasonable income right now, for a single person and for where I live. My commute’s a mess though and a lot of times all the normal tasks of keeping life together just get overwhelming.DITTO, conservative and not ever begrudging someone going through hard times getting help from these programs. Good luck DarkLight.
Maybe, in your mind,you have that “command” that you have to “ do” something ( and sometimes all the time)to satisfy “ somebody else” who may probably never be satisfied…Unconsciously.My commute’s a mess though and a lot of times all the normal tasks of keeping life together just get overwhelming.
The best thing I learned to say at this time was “I don’t want to do that right now.” Not, “oh, I can’t” but I do not want to. It’s okay, esp. when there is a person in your life who wants you to do things for them. “I do not want to” is delicious because you know longer have to come up with tiring reasons why you
Unfortunately this is part of the struggle. The primary source of “you need to do things for me” is my mother, and she tends towards very extreme reactions if told no. I can’t imagine what would happen if I just flat-out told her “no I can’t”, but I wouldn’t be surprised at all if it ended up with her banging on my door to explain what was wrong with me. Boundaries discussions with her are like waving a red flag in front of a bull, to step up in any way she can to get me to stop. It definitely leads to blowing up my phone trying to reach me, and showing up to catch me after work has happened before. In her mind if I don’t jump to help her, I’m nasty and rude and horrible and ungrateful and selfish and just deliberately have it out for her for no reason, and as my mother it’s her job to set me straight.I had to humbly let myself get some rest and care at that point in my life, and limit or eliminate people who were not good for me.
Guilt and responsibility are different things,But I’m also realizing I’m so used to thinking of needing to take care of myself and having things I struggle with as sinful. And I don’t know how to manage handling both at once.