Catholic living when everything's going wrong and you're exhausted

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All I’ve got is a spare chair. Although I know I’ve had times before where I’ve literally fallen asleep on the bathroom floor because I was so worn out. So a chair might not be so bad.
 
Hi Dark Light,

Your situation sounds very familiar to me. It’s difficult I know, and sometimes during the rosary you fall asleep because you’re so tired. A bit of advice, keep praying. Don’t lose hope. You’ll see the days will get better as you continue to pray.

Early in the morning on the way to work I turn on the Catholic radio station and listen to sister lead the rosary during Lent. Afterwards, sister picks out a passage from scripture and talks about at length. However, sister applies scripture to our every day lives and it’s wonderful to listen to her discuss it.

I’m going to make a recommendation to not only pray but to read a passage everyday and focus. Right now and it not selfish by putting some issues on the back burner, sort of speak. Handle the smaller issues first and ask God to help loosen the difficult ones. Spend time knowing what God can accomplish for you through his son. Every prayer, priest, sister, minister will tell you to say, "Dear Lord Jesus, I need You. I can’t live the Christian life by myself. When I try to do that, my struggle or struggles end in failure and defeat. I need
You to take over my life and live your life through me. I believe that you died on the cross for my sins, and you rose from the dead to bring me new life. I am sorry for all my sins. Please forgive me. I forgive anyone who has ever offended me. I open the door of my life and receive you as my Savior and Lord. I turn over my whole life, every detail of my life to you. Take control of my life. Help me to be the kind of person you want me to be. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Please send your Holy Spirit upon me to fill me with love for the Father and for You and to guide and direct me in everything I do and say. I ask this in your name, Jesus Christ my Lord Amen.

What your asking is for Jesus to step in and to help you. When I need spiritual strength my physical body draws from it. What is going through you comes from inside and it transports outward. Mind, Body and soul is being treated by our Lord when He is present in you! Then you can deal with these issues with our Lord guiding you.
 
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The prayers you say helps to make the days go smoother but also, thank goodness, the people you extend prayers to. People whom you pray for begin to understand the value and in yourself.

“Establish my footsteps in Your word, And do not let any iniquity have dominion over me.” Psalms 119

Thank you for the post!😊
 
Delphinus said:
If nothing else you can get a basic income, health insurance, food income, even tuition assistance if you need help going back to school. AND you can rest easy knowing that people going through hard times, such as yourself, are EXACTLY what these programs are for…and this is all coming from a small government conservative here. 😉
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DITTO, conservative and not ever begrudging someone going through hard times getting help from these programs. Good luck DarkLight.
 
KS_Housewife said:
DITTO, conservative and not ever begrudging someone going through hard times getting help from these programs. Good luck DarkLight.
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Thanks. The problem right now is more health and energy than money (not that I haven’t spent my time both on assistance and in what we call the “donut hole” of assistance). But I’m making a reasonable income right now, for a single person and for where I live. My commute’s a mess though and a lot of times all the normal tasks of keeping life together just get overwhelming.
 
Then DarkLight, you should “Do You” at this phase of your life. I had a difficult time in my life to get through, and my job then was to take care of getting my own self back on my feet. I attended church every week. I served others by praying for them and making the occasional SMALL donation to the collection plate. I served my employer with an dedicated honest days’ work each day. I occasionally supported a bake sale or charity fundraiser booth. The rest of the time I cleaned up debt, obtained counseling, pursued professional development, and improved my fitness. I regained control over my own life even in small ways, like cooking and freezing a week’s meals on the weekend, since that worked for me and helped me eat healthy and on budget, and treating Saturday as a work day for MY stuff, i.e. all of the laundry, housecleaning, errands, etc happened that day. It was NOT the time in my life for me to be a big giver, I refused to wear a superman cape.

The best thing I learned to say at this time was “I don’t want to do that right now.” Not, “oh, I can’t” but I do not want to. It’s okay, esp. when there is a person in your life who wants you to do things for them. “I do not want to” is delicious because you know longer have to come up with tiring reasons why you “can’t”. The first time I heard someone at work say that phrase, I was shocked, but I got over it.

I had to humbly let myself get some rest and care at that point in my life, and limit or eliminate people who were not good for me. That is your job now. My priest told me God wanted good things for me and that I was worth them.
 
You need to first take care of yourself and your family mentally, spiritually, and physically before you take care of anyone else. We are not called to be super heroes who take care of the entire world. Instead, we are called to help others we encounter using our best judgement. We can help others through our occupation. What we are not called to is enabling people. For example, if some bum on the street begs for money do we need to fork it over to him? NO! What if he plans to buy heroin with that money and he ends up dying that night? Well #1. That is his choice to do drugs. #2. If you gave him money you contributed to his death. Giving someone something that they want isn’t always the answer to what we are called to do. If we go through life enabling others and not caring about ourselves life will suck.

So first take care of yourself and your family (if you have one). Two, pray. Three, you are not the world’s superhero. Four, realize that we are all human and that everyone should be taking self-responsibility. Five, God wants you to be happy.
 
DarkLight said:
My commute’s a mess though and a lot of times all the normal tasks of keeping life together just get overwhelming.
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Maybe, in your mind,you have that “command” that you have to “ do” something ( and sometimes all the time)to satisfy “ somebody else” who may probably never be satisfied…Unconsciously.
But it isn’t t really what you want, or really need to…
And it gets you tired just to think of it as well. It adds preoccupation.
Maybe, your schedule could be organized in a less stressful way perhaps?
I do not know you, but maybe writing down on paper what you are doing and is affecting you , and reconsidering it.
Say “ Do I really need to do laundry this often?”

Prioritize, set aside what can wait,make room for little things you enjoy doing, little things.
Enjoy good company of friends as some posters said if you can , a walk, something that makes you happy…
If you need to rest because your health and energy are asking you to,then you may want to start enjoying little things that give you some peace and rest…
Anyway, and in case, praying for you, Dark Light and sending you a bit of sunshine!
 
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KS_Housewife said:
The best thing I learned to say at this time was “I don’t want to do that right now.” Not, “oh, I can’t” but I do not want to. It’s okay, esp. when there is a person in your life who wants you to do things for them. “I do not want to” is delicious because you know longer have to come up with tiring reasons why you
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KS_Housewife said:
I had to humbly let myself get some rest and care at that point in my life, and limit or eliminate people who were not good for me.
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Unfortunately this is part of the struggle. The primary source of “you need to do things for me” is my mother, and she tends towards very extreme reactions if told no. I can’t imagine what would happen if I just flat-out told her “no I can’t”, but I wouldn’t be surprised at all if it ended up with her banging on my door to explain what was wrong with me. Boundaries discussions with her are like waving a red flag in front of a bull, to step up in any way she can to get me to stop. It definitely leads to blowing up my phone trying to reach me, and showing up to catch me after work has happened before. In her mind if I don’t jump to help her, I’m nasty and rude and horrible and ungrateful and selfish and just deliberately have it out for her for no reason, and as my mother it’s her job to set me straight.

I’m trying, slowly, to pull away. But it’s hard because I don’t want to provoke her too far into trying to “fix” things.
 
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Part of the struggle as well for me…we are all called to repentance and striving to do better. But I’m also realizing I’m so used to thinking of needing to take care of myself and having things I struggle with as sinful. And I don’t know how to manage handling both at once.

And I feel like priests tend to push therapy in a way that’s not always helpful - like a therapist really can’t help with religious questions that are influenced by trauma, but clergy aren’t comfortable dealing with anything that might touch on mental health. So it seems there’s a big area of overlap where no one can help because it’s outside their area.
 
DarkLight said:
But I’m also realizing I’m so used to thinking of needing to take care of myself and having things I struggle with as sinful. And I don’t know how to manage handling both at once.
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Guilt and responsibility are different things,
This comparison helped me once.
Guilt is like a washing machine spinning: it gets you stuck to the tank , turning and turning. And motionless. Draining and draining…
Jump out of the washing machine for a while…
let yourself be aired in the sun and the wind for a while…
We’ll be praying for you.
 
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