Cat, I’ve read over your posts and I realize I did misunderstand you and I apologize. You have indeed consistently used words like “most” and “some” to describe people who have crushes, and acknowledged that they can be a near occasion of sin for some people.
I totally agree with this.
Unfortunately Gordon Sims, I can’t say the same for you. Apparently you think crushes/fantasies are either wrong for everyone, or right for everyone, and there’s no room for accounting for differences in people and relationships
You also seem to be assuming that crushes, by definition, involve lust, and that if someone doesn’t feel any lust, then that’s not a real crush, that’s just “admiration”. Well, then what do you think of the term “man-crush” that is used to describe men who have “crushes” on male celebrities, usually athletes? I have known men like this who do indeed plaster their walls with posters of the celebrity, fantasize about meeting and playing with the celebrity in their sport, etc. Are such men all in the near occasion of sin, are they indulging in lustful homosexual fantasies? Of course not, unless they have tendencies to SSA. But most don’t.
You also seem to think “fantasizing about a person you find attractive” equals lust, even when the fantasies are not sexual, and there is no arousal involved. BTW, you do realize who Ariel is, right? She is a CARTOON character. Do you seriously think Cat’s husband is lusting over a cartoon? You’ve also made this a man vs woman issue, raising the strawman that people think it’s okay for women to fantasize but not for men, when Cat has stated that her husband has crushes and is not denigrating him for it at all.
Interesting point about man-crushes on other men. I hadn’t thought about that.
Just today in our local paper, a local volunteer/community activist, an older man who also happens to be a great Christian guy, was interviewed, and he mentioned how much he admires Chuck Norris and wants to meet him.
My husband started figure skating (and got our daughters involved) because of his huge “crush” on Brian Boitano. Right after the 1988 Calgary Olympics and the “Battle of the Brians,” my husband decided to become the First Forty-Year-Old Olympian in figure skating," and started Learn To Skate classes.
Well, he’s in his 50s now, and still working on that Olympic Dream! And he STILL has that crush on Brian Boitano, and will drive long distances to see him in person, and also follows Boitano on the social media, collects Boitano souvenirs, etc.
There is definitely no lust involved. Boitano came out as gay right before the 2014 Olympics (wow, big surprise!).
I think a lot of celebrity crushes are more about fantasizing about a lifestyle, not a person. I’m not so much interested in Robert Patrick as I am in what he achieves–I love his life story! He was a painter in the Detroit area who had done some plays in schools–that’s it. After a boating accident in which he and his brothers were almost killed, Mr. Patrick quit the painting job, drove out to Hollywood, got an agent, and started auditioning. Within two weeks, he landed a part in a play by a famous playwright. This part led to parts in Roger Corman “action flicks,” and eventually the ground-breaking role in Terminator 2.
After he finished the film and it was a massive hit, he went to his local Harley Davidson store to fulfill a life-long dream–buying a motorcycle. The owner of the store offered to GIVE him a Harley (after all, he was the Terminator–what a promotion!). But Mr. Patrick refused and insisted on paying for the bike because he wanted to fulfill that goal of buying one!
This kind of attitude seems to characterize all of Mr. Patrick’s life–a love of country, family, and a willingness to work HARD in his chosen field. He goes after his dreams–that’s what I want to do!
THAT’S what I crush on–not so much the man, but his lifestyle.
And I think the same is true of my husband’s crush on the Little Mermaid. I mentioned in an earlier post that he loves the idea of living under the sea, swimming along, free, unfettered, in a beautiful world of ocean life.
My father’s crushes on Martha Stewart and Dr. Sniderman were all about success–he loved the idea of becoming successful and wealthy and famous–and to a certain extent, he succeeded at this in a much smaller way in his own part of the world.
Men who crush on athletes love the idea of being in peak physical condition, able to pull of astonishing athletic feats and “win it all” for their team or for themselves (e.g., Boitano).
When I was younger and crushing on Jonathan Frid/Barnabas Collins, I was actually crushing on living in New York City, being part of something exciting like Dark Shadows (it was hugely popular–20 million people were watching it–that’s respectable even today!). I admired the Shakespearean language the Mr. Frid used, the costuming (Edwardian–laced on the sleeves of the male shirts–I still love this!), the music (beautiful classical-sounding themes written by Robert Colbert), the HOUSES–I think this is where I started developing a love of beautifully-designed houses, etc.
I think a lot of military men who hang pin-ups in their locker are actually crushing on America and freedom and beauty and their mothers and sisters and girlfriends back home, but it hurts too much to think about these REAL people and REAL America that they love, so they think about their pin-up girl instead, because she’s not REAL to them–she merely epitomizes the American Ideal that they are fighting for.
I think that lust and betrayal of a spouse does not factor into most crushes at all. Far from it. Crushes are innocent and decent and enhance our real-life relationships and make our lives here on this earth more fun.