Chatting before, during, and after Mass

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Crusader:
Yup! It’s especially bad when they have difficulty hearing so they compensate by talking louder.

I think a great deal of this stems from a lack of fellowship before and after the Mass. A truly good coffee and doughnuts program after Mass would do a lot to end the chatting in many parishes.
It would help if the Pastor would also remind people that chatting should be done outside before or after the Mass and not in the pews.

I have also noticed that some people take the Sign of Peace as an opportunity to “visit”.
 
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Crusader:
Yup! It’s especially bad when they have difficulty hearing so they compensate by talking louder.

I think a great deal of this stems from a lack of fellowship before and after the Mass. A truly good coffee and doughnuts program after Mass would do a lot to end the chatting in many parishes.
There’s that word…fellowship…
Why don’t Catholic parishes do it well? I agree that a good coffee and doughnut program would go a long way towards alleviating this problem.


Not to rehash another thread, but coffee is almost always available in Evangelical churches. It encourages people to spend a little with one another. That warm fellowship is one of the things that draws Catholics to Evangelical churches…
 
I have found that this varies depending on the parish. In some it is most of the older Catholics who talk before, during, and after the Mass. I went to one where it was like a beer hall before and after (and during the sign of peace) with people not only talking, but being very loud about it. I was fortunate enough to go to a parish for several years where everyone (except small children) remained blessedly silent. This was St. Mary’s by the Sea in Huntington Beach, CA. The pastor had a sign above the entrance to the Nave, “Silence is Golden in the House of the Lord.” This silence was observed during both the current rite of Mass as well as that of the 1962 Missal.
 
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EddieArent:
Father Brown in Orlando delivered a great Homily regarding this about a year ago by making a point that the sanctuary is not for socializing nor being a social club. He said if you want to chat, do so at the parish’s cafeteria. Before his Homily, there have been (and still are) signs at the entrances of the Santuary asking people to observe the Sacred Silence. I totally agree.
Hey! I’ve been to this parish - what a beautiful, holy place it is. My kids love to look at all the windows and statues after Mass when we visit there.

At my previous parish, this chatting was a real problem, esp. before the “Protestant Mass” - or “The Choir Show” - we used both names for that particular Mass ;). The din before that Mass was unbelievable. I even had people tap me on the shoulder to chit-chat while I was kneeling in prayer. Excuse me, please!
 
Detroit Sue:
I’m very fortunate. In my parish, you can tell the “visitors” by their lack of reverence. They are ususally there for a Baptism or First Communion. Our parishioners and our priest are not shy about asking people to respect the Sacred Silence.
That is such a blessing because many times people that come for a Baptism have not been in Church of late and to be surronded by good people is a great thing. The quiet allows God to be heard.
 
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CD4:
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Niece:
Who do you think was leading the way**?./**
QUOTE]

**Never thought of that…😃 **
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CD4:
There’s that word…fellowship…
Why don’t Catholic parishes do it well? I agree that a good coffee and doughnut program would go a long way towards alleviating this problem.

Not to rehash another thread, but coffee is almost always available in Evangelical churches. It encourages people to spend a little with one another. That warm fellowship is one of the things that draws Catholics to Evangelical churches…
We do at all our local parish’s. It’s nice but can pose problems also. At our parish we have had to have someone stand guard over the coffee and donuts before Mass (between the 8:00 and 10:30) because some yo yo’s came only for the coffee and donuts. It’s a wacky world we live in I guess. That is another reason Father put up a wall to separate the Main church from the Gathering space. Between the two spaces it used to just have clear glass from floor to ceiling. More than a few spent Mass time in the Gathering Space indulging in chit chat, coffee and donuts.
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Niece:
Should anyone be so shocked that it would be the elderly that are so chatty before and after mass? If you do a little math it shouldn’t take too long to figure out that if they are 65-85 now, that would have made them 30-50 years-old in the '70’s, is that not when most of the liturgical rebellion began? Who do you think was leading the way? As I’ve noticed it, the most solidly liberal Catholics are the older ones (my dear sweet mother-in-law being one of them!). Beyond that, I find the more liberal the parish, the more yackity-yack.
Now, Now, I do not resemble that remark at all. I happen to be in the age group you seem to despise so much. But I don’t talk in church. None of my old buddies do either. I have however been known to tap an offender on the shoulder and put my finger to my lip’s to tell them to Shush Up! Unless it is the really old deaf sweethearts. We just let them alone.

Remember children…You will also be old one day. Have a care about trashing us oldsters across the board. You cannot possible have met us all nor know anything about us all. It’s not nice to bad mouth Grandma and Grandpa. Sorry your old folks are not stellar Catholic old foggies like some of us are though. 😉

I have also been known to offer to separate brawling children when one lonely parent cannot keep them quiet. I take one of the two miscreants and sit further away from the parent and the other problem child. I have also been known to block teen’s from leaving after Communion by gently blocking their path and telling them…Father has not said: “Go in peace the Mass is ended.” Your not finished yet. I have a very nice manner though, so to date none have been offended by my offer nor my shush methods. Other old people such as my self also do the same. We are a family at our parish. We love one another and we do not trash and bash any age group. We do try to act like we have some liturgical brains though and gently guide those who do not.

I do good work with dear sweet Mothers-In-Laws too btw. Send her my way and I will be glad to straighten her out. The dishwasher in the parish may be down the week she comes. She can wash the coffee cups.
 
**You are so right…No one should put any age group down…We all have our faults, no matter what our age is. **

**I don’t think one group is worse than the other when it comes to “fellowshipping” in the nave before Mass begins. **


 
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theMutant:
I have found that this varies depending on the parish. In some it is most of the older Catholics who talk before, during, and after the Mass. I went to one where it was like a beer hall before and after (and during the sign of peace) with people not only talking, but being very loud about it. I was fortunate enough to go to a parish for several years where everyone (except small children) remained blessedly silent. This was St. Mary’s by the Sea in Huntington Beach, CA. The pastor had a sign above the entrance to the Nave, “Silence is Golden in the House of the Lord.” This silence was observed during both the current rite of Mass as well as that of the 1962 Missal.
The Diocese of Orange revoked the indult. :mad:
 
We have a lot of chatting in our church. I am guilty of it also. I think that is because I am in the choir and we have to talk before Mass and then we keep it up.

What I really hate, though, is, as I am entering the Church, my fellow choir members yell their greeting to me instead of waiting until I get to the choir space.

And what about priests that yell in Church? I have been at Church during Christmas decoration time and the pastor carrying on like he was at the stock exchange.
 
Have just been reading the postings and a couple thoughts came to me:

It was my understanding that the reason some parishes have a general greeting before the beginning of the liturgy is so that at the Sign of Peace it will be the sign of peace and not a general greeting or chatting.

Also, since I have never attended Mass outside of the US or Canada, has anyone attended in a non-first world country for any time? The reason I ask is a comment a visiting missionary made regarding families especially in the US vs non-first world countries. It was interesting and seemed to go along with comments made to me by a seminarian from South Africa.
 
Yes, the elderly are largely at fault in my parish as well. Possible for these top 3 reasons:
  1. they don’t get out enough.
  2. they don’t think anyone cares (because they don’t)
  3. they have been duped by the priest in believing that Vatican II ‘changed all the old ways’ and now Mass is more ‘community’ centered.
 
I do not like the greetings at mass. I am not there to meet anyone but Jesus. There is bad talking in my parish and most of them here. One Sunday, it bothered me so much that I moved to the chair closest to the wall with the tabernacle by it and said in a voice that was a little too loud that if no one else was going to talk to Jesus, than I will. Well, the hippies around me were offended by that and complained to the priest. He knows me well enough to brush it off. Not the best way to handle it, but I was amazed that talking to each other is ok, but we cannot talk to Jesus in the church.
 
If one is a member of a parish with a group of elderly people who are chatty, maybe that is a que to work on finding a way for these valuable members of the parish to be involved, maybe a social or prayer group is needed.

Unfortuantely the problem at my parish is with the teens at the Teen Life Mass. Not every young person is like this, most of them are rather reverent, but I sat in front of some girls who were gossiping and giggling loudly all through the Mass. They also tried to play with my young children whom I was desperately trying to keep quiet and teach proper behavior. The following week I sat behind a teenage boy who was obviously angry that he had to be at Mass. He sat and looked at his cell phone (which finally rang) and griped to his mom that he didn’t want to be there until the second reading when she finally relented. I felt sorry for her, and prayed for him to try to keep from being annoyed. He showed no reverence, never stood or kneeled or sang or participated in any way and finally showed up for communion and I had the unfortunate timing to look up to see him acting like he was going to throw up after taking the wine. I will never go to the Teen Mass again.
 
It seems that the elderly and the children are the biggest offenders! All of you crotchety middle age people are upset about it! Maybe there is something to learn from the innocence of the children and the wisdom of the elderly.
 
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SHEMP:
It seems that the elderly and the children are the biggest offenders! All of you crotchety middle age people are upset about it! Maybe there is something to learn from the innocence of the children and the wisdom of the elderly.
As that television robot used to say, “That does not compute.”

The “innocence of the children”: teens who gab and giggle throughout Mass or who pout and do whatever they can to force Mom and Dad to let them leave early?

The “wisdom of the elderly”: people who were brought up to be quiet in church but who now carry on during Mass the social conversations they easily enough could carry out outside the church before or after Mass?

Well, yes, I guess there is something that the non-young and non-elderly can learn: Don’t follow these bad examples!
 
I think a great deal of this stems from a lack of fellowship before and after the Mass. A truly good coffee and doughnuts program after Mass would do a lot to end the chatting in many parishes.

This is not the case in my parish. There is a coffee hour in the cafeteria of the former school (now a Community day care center) almost every Sunday, and still the chatter is a given…it is almost as distracting as the choir practice that starts an hour before Sunday Mass and lasts untill about 5 minutes before Mass starts. The Priest and the Deacon add to the chatter by buzzing up and down the aisles, shaking hands, making small talk, etc. I attribute it to the fact that several years ago, we had a Pastor who taught that the Church belonged to us and that it was made to be a gathering place for the assembly…apparently the Bishop approves, since I have witnessed this in almost every parish I have visited in the Diocese. To add insult to injury, as Mass is about to begin, before annoucing the entrance song (note: it is never called a hymn), we are asked to “Stand and say hello to the people seated near you”…THEN, once the deacon, Priest and “servers”(mostly middle aged women) are on the altar, the Deacon asks Visitors to raise their hands and then proceeds to asks them to say where they are from, commenting on each response. He always says “wonderful”, but I think it is anything but.

As you can see, it could be a lot worse.
 
My parish has the same problem. While I do enjoy talking to other parishioners, I try to do so during the coffee and donuts after Mass. There is a time for quite reflection before Mass and contemplation about what is about to happen—not for noisy chattering (especially on Good Friday). During Mass people are generally quiet, and I don’t mind if they start chatting as they leave. I don’t see a difference in chatting based on age—everyone does it.
 
My older son just turned 10 this year. When he was 8 years old, he often got distracted by the ‘chattings’ around him and turned to me to … take care of those people. After mass, I just sat him down and asked that he should pray for those people that distracted him during mass. As I reminded him that instead of praying, he ended up distracting another person - me! It took awhile for him to get hold of the idea. Now that he receives his communion regularly, he tend to find the front-most pew to sit.

My comment is that we can’t change the people at mass, but we can make a difference with the ones most closed to you. After all, isn’t that how we evangelize? By starting out with ourselves and work outward?
 
As I have been spending the last few weeks wearing a backbrace and a neck brace due to my lousy old age problems, I have enjoyed immensely reading and participating in the posts here. You all have made the pain and immobility enjoyable. I really do feel your emotional and spiritual pain on these problems. Things are crazy. I have noted though that most all of the really bad situations come from both left coasts and the more popular Retirement states.

Lord, I am glad to be from the Plaines states. When the old hound dog run’s off we can see him running for miles. 😉

Thank heavens I will hopefully soon be able to be up and around. As long as I have had time on my hands I thought I would take a sampling of who everyone thinks needs killed off. But I gotta confess…I definitely feel like I am next in line for the extermination camp. :eek:
1.it was older Catholics, especially elderly Catholics
2.many elderly are hard of hearing and don’t know how loud they sound.
3.everyone was talking loudly before the Mass started
4.children are running wild in the church during Mass.
5.former pastor actually encouraged talking
6.the chatter (from children!)
7.Should anyone be so shocked that it would be the elderly that are so chatty before and after mass? If you do a little math it shouldn’t take too long to figure out that if they are 65-85 .
8.It would help if the Pastor
9. In some it is most of the older Catholics
10.I am guilty of it also
11.Yes, the elderly are largely at fault
12.It seems that the elderly and the children are the biggest offenders
13.children": teens,
14.the elderly":
And of course my favorite one:The old folks:
  1. they don’t get out enough.
  2. they don’t think anyone cares (because they don’t)
  3. they have been duped by the priest in believing that Vatican II ‘changed all the old ways’ and now Mass is more ‘community’ centered
The only ones who can live are: the non-young and non-elderly and all priests must be killed off too. Nope, somebody else said everybody. SIGH! I think we have a mess on our hands and need to keep our chin up and our hopes high. That is the harder part…(I can lend you a neck brace if you need one as soon as I am finished with it) 😉
 
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