Chatting before, during, and after Mass

  • Thread starter Thread starter Karl_Keating
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Karl Keating:
At my previous parish I was an usher and so sat in the back at each Mass. The parish catered mainly to tourists (who accounted for 80 percent of the attendance), which let me get a sense of how people probably act in their home parishes.

One thing I came to realize is that Catholics no longer are very good at keeping their lips zipped. Before and after Mass they chat loudly in the vestibule and somewhat more softly in the nave. Even during Mass some chat.

Then something else occurred to me. If I had been asked beforehand who it was that most likely would chat vs. who most likely would be quiet, I would have said: The young ones will tend to chat, while older Catholics, who might remember old customs, will be quiet.

Not so. What I found, consistently, was that it was older Catholics, especially elderly Catholics, who chatted most–not just before and after Mass but even during Mass.

Have you noticed anything similar?
Click to expand...
YES, and I’m sick to the teeth of it, I WISH the priest would say something about it in his sermons, but I’m afraid they have taken a bashing over the years for you know what ? and are probably afraid to speak out.
Was Jesus responsible for the actions of Judas ? NO !
Please speak up fathers, we are in the presence of Jesus in the Tabernacle, “QUIET PLEASE” !!!:mad:
 
This impression may be solely my own, but from what I’ve seen, the newer the church building (i.e. modernist and quite usually mega-church design), the more chit-chat. Anyone else ever notice that?
 
I am disturbed that this is such a problem in so many Catholic Churches. I have noticed it at my own parish and wrote a letter to the pastor of my concerns. He published the letter in the bulletin. I don’t think most people read his comments in the bulletin. I wish priests would take the opportunity for “teaching moments” from the pulpit to remind congregations of the purpose of preparing yourself spriritually for the mass. This is the reason for the need for silence in the main church, prayer. This is what is really lost to us when we chat and visit. Save it for Bingo!!
 
I find it difficult to have a chance to prepare spiritually for Mass when even the choir uses the time before Mass to practice! At least during Lent the Entrance hymn is exchanged for a silent entrance by the Celebrant followed by the Kyrie. I do think all the chatting is related to today’s society…hardly anything is sacred anymore. I have been guilty of chatter on occasion, so I try not to judge others. At least they are there for Mass. On the whole, the mostly elderly parish I belong to now is quieter than the previous parish I belonged to which had more young families. I think this is because my current parish church is a smaller building and the pastor does not allow for any group soliciting before or after Mass except in the Parish Center which is across the parking lot from the Church. I thought this odd at first, but then realized that it made the Church a quieter place even when we enter the door.
 
I love daily Mass when I can attend. It takes me away from the daily chores. However, there are 2-3 people that sit near me in daily mass that idle chatter until mass begins. They are the Eucharistic ministers!!!

:banghead:

I usually come in after them to kneel & pray & can hear their whole conversation. I realize that I can change seats, but I like where I sit. I have not turned around yet to put my finger on my lips to ask for silence. I guess I feel like they will stop one of these days. I really don’t want to embarrass them, but I am getting closer.

I find the inside the Church so sacred, that it is offensive to me to hear chit chat inside. I am a convert for 3 years and this is probably the #1 problem I have is the disrespect inside the Church.
 
I agree that this problem is symptomatic of the general lack of good manners in our society. Back in my childhood we addressed our elders as Mrs or Mr Smith, we had a dress code at school, men removed their hats indoors, people dressed nicely for church etc… Now we’ve thrown many of these good practises out the window in the interest of tolerance and informality. So, this is not just a Catholic problem but a societal one. Plus, we cater to our young people as we never have before. Also, in general, our whole population in N. America is totally spoiled with big meals, big houses, big cars, so is it any surprise that we also have big mouths?
 
One remedy might be for us all to purchase a good pair of eaplugs…
 
I’ve glanced over the replies in this thread, and it seems that people think age and age of the structure have a bearing on whether people talk in church.

I happen to think it’s somewhat related to DESIGN of the churches.

I’ve lived in Michigan and Illinois, in three dioceses. The general trend seems to be that Catholic Churches are built as stand-alone churches, with maybe a rectory attached for the convenience of the priest(s).

Whereas, I notice that most let’s call them Protestant church are built with an extensive anteroom or parish center attached. In these, the attendees usually make their way through the parish center, where there is a lot of social activity and comraderie.

I think the design in architecture is significant, not only for the phenomenon of talking in church, but is directly related also to the lack of interest in people attending the after-Mass donut gatherings. In our parish, the donuts are about 800 feet away.

There’s so much controversy you hear about the interior design of new churches (e.g. kneelers vs. no kneelers, etc.) which is trivial compared to the blundering oversight of not connecting the social rooms to the church.

I think this is another stupid over-reaction in the counter-reformation mentality of the Church.
 
40.png
ktm:
Yep, it’s the same in my neck of the woods. One day the chatter (from children!) was so bad the priest just before the closing prayer reminded folks that they should control their kids and that a “crying room” is available for uppity children. Now all we need is a “blabbing room” for the adults.

I think the lowest point in the parish I attend Mass was when a cell phone went off. Again we got a reminder from the priest to turn off cell phones because it is disrespectful. What a disgrace he even had to remind people of it! :mad:
Click to expand...
Yep. My pastor won’t hesitate to name the “offending parent” by name. Even happened to me once.

I’ve seen people wear their cell phones in Church. I don’r care for it, but can’t do like I do in class ("If I see or hear a cell phone, leave the class and come back with a withdrawal form.) I guess that’s the reason I leave mine at home.

John
 
40.png
michaelk:
I love daily Mass when I can attend. It takes me away from the daily chores. However, there are 2-3 people that sit near me in daily mass that idle chatter until mass begins. They are the Eucharistic ministers!!!
<snip, snip>
Click to expand...
Every August, the week before catechism starts, our parish has a “send off” Mass for the catechists. I stopped going to that particular Mass because of the chatting (by the catechists) that occurred even in the line for Communion.

Fortunately, the chapel I go to (mostly elderly and young people) doesn’t have as much chatting. (And what there is is usually after Mass has ended.

John
 
At the Parish I attend, it seems to always be the older folks who chatter before, during, and after Mass. I attend the early Mass on Sunday, and try to get there so I have enough time to say the Rosary and spend a few moments in reflection in Our Lord’s Presence. It can be very frustrating to hear about " Penny’s gall stones" every week. One thing I’ve tried, and it seems to work for me, is when the “talk” gets a bit loud around me before Mass, while I’m praying the Rosary, I’ll actually recite the prayers out loud. You can imagine the looks I get, but it seems to work. I go back to praying quietly as soon as those around me lower their voices. 🙂

In His Peace
 
40.png
Sir_Hubert:
At the Parish I attend, it seems to always be the older folks who chatter before, during, and after Mass. I attend the early Mass on Sunday, and try to get there so I have enough time to say the Rosary and spend a few moments in reflection in Our Lord’s Presence. It can be very frustrating to hear about " Penny’s gall stones" every week. One thing I’ve tried, and it seems to work for me, is when the “talk” gets a bit loud around me before Mass, while I’m praying the Rosary, I’ll actually recite the prayers out loud. You can imagine the looks I get, but it seems to work. I go back to praying quietly as soon as those around me lower their voices. 🙂

In His Peace
Click to expand...
I usual say the St. Michael Prayer out loud. I have even cleared the Adoration Chapel of a whole crowd of people who just wandered in during a funeral and decided to use it as their little chatting area. Seems to work well for me anyway. 😉
 
40.png
DrCat:
I’ve seen people wear their cell phones in Church. I don’r care for it, but can’t do like I do in class ("If I see or hear a cell phone, leave the class and come back with a withdrawal form.) I guess that’s the reason I leave mine at home.

John
Click to expand...
I was at Mass last weekend and I got paged about 5 times. I’m a physician and I work for a Catholic University Hospital. They don’t pay the going rate nor do I have great coverage. One of the other physicians is out on sick leave for the last month because of a tragedy in her family and the other physician is on vacation for two weeks. I had my 3 y/o and 4.5 y/o. My wife was with the baby at home. The kids were a challenge but overall pretty good. I finally had to leave early after communion to answer pages from the emergency room. As I was leaving early I couldn’t help think that there were people in the church who were looking down at me for disrupting them and for leaving early. It was a major challenge to make my Sunday obligation. I was up at 4:30 so that I could round in the Hospital. There were a number of difficult situations that morning. Then I quickly went home to get the kids and off to church.

You can find God in many ways. I don’t think you find Him when you are steaming at others for talking and looking at people negatively for leaving church early. I know that there are a lot who abuse this. I just won’t be the one to judge them.

The next time you really need to talk to your doctor on Sunday morning just remember that he might be in church. I don’t mind the call but you might cause people like you to look down at him!
 
In response to the original post, my observation is that the older people seem more “chatty” before and after Mass than others. This could be related to the fact that most of the congregation is older, at least in my neighborhood.
 
Me and four others got busted at Friday’s daily Mass. I have no idea what came over us! Usually we are very reserved and collected in the chapel as we wait for father to come in. But instead we were in there just yacking up a storm. In came Father and I noticed he looked upset. We kept chatting. Yack, yack, yack. Laugh, laugh, laugh.
In the middle of the buzz one of us asked, “What song do you think we should sing Father?” and Father, bless him!, said, “I think we should be prepairing for what we are about to do.” Ooops! We all got reeeal quiet. He went on to say, “Jesus is present here in the tabernacle and although I doubt that He minds conversation I think that this is a time to prepare for the Mass and we should show respect through our silence.” The whole time he’s saying these things there’s this huge 6’5 Knight of Columbus next to me saying very humbly, “Yes, Father. Yes, Father.”
If a Priest puts his foot down he can stop all of the chatter and yacking without having to be mean or rude. Our Priest was very charitable but also to-the-point and in a matter of seconds we went from chatterboxes to quietly praying as we prepared for the Mass.
 
Its a racket before Mass and the din continues. I don’t know how the priest can keep his thoughts together.

After Mass, its a free-for-all.
 
I believe the main difference between the two is the location of the tabernacle.
Click to expand...
I agree. Where we used to live the Tabernacle was front & center. Here, it’s hidden away without even a visible light. Talking before Mass varies, as does talking during Mass, but afterward, all Hell breaks loose!

I’ve noticed that since the Bishop said we are supposed to stand during the entire Communion & that we are to pay attention to those going up for Communion, people are talking a lot more. I told the Bishop what the problems were with that & that I would continue to kneel. I can’t say he’s thrilled with me, but there’s not much he can do about it.

I figure it’s like kneeling during the Great Amen, which I did alone for years. Eventually, the others will be joining me! 🙂
 
40.png
SHEMP:
I was at Mass last weekend and I got paged about 5 times. I’m a physician and I work for a Catholic University Hospital. … I don’t mind the call but you might cause people like you to look down at him!
Click to expand...
I aoplogize if this sounds a bit mean but can you invest in a pager that vibrates? 🙂
I worked the Markets for years, on 24 hour call at times and I just kept it on vibrate.
 
40.png
amarikidd:
I aoplogize if this sounds a bit mean but can you invest in a pager that vibrates? 🙂
I worked the Markets for years, on 24 hour call at times and I just kept it on vibrate.
Click to expand...
It does vibrate. My point was that you never know why someone leaves early. You never know what kind of sacrifice someone is making to bring their children to mass.

I was in church yesterday. It was very loud at the 9 am Mass. Many children were there. I always try to look for ways to turn something into a positive. I happened to go to Mass without my children. Hearing the hum of children in the Church helped me with my prayer as I focused on the feast of Corpus Christi. I focused on Jesus’ love for the children. It made me reflect on having more patience with my own children. I received the Eucharist asking the Lord to give me more patience. I don’t think the noise was detremental. I think that those of you who are distracted by the noise should ask yourself, “why are you so easily distracted?” How does God want YOU to act? I don’t think you should ask, “How does God want these people around you to act?”
 
Karl’s original question really gets to something I’ve been thinking about for a long time and I have two thoughts:
  • There is no where else in our modern (most specifically American) culture that fosters a climate of quiet. It starts with reproduced or broadcast sound in the home including radio, records, TV, tapes, CDs, computers, noisy toys for kids, & video games. As we leave our homes we hear ringing and beeping cell phones, music in every retail store. The last time I went in a public library it wasn’t very quiet either. What is lost in the culture now is the sense of a time for silence. Silence is thought of as bad or a vacuum that must be filled. In silence is where the soul meets God. I guess many Catholics don’t know or have forgotten this.
  • People don’t have time to stay after mass for fellowship because of their busy schedules. “Pack as much as I can in one day” Syndrome. Birthday parties, barbecues, work schedule, ski trips, taking kids to Little League, and the list goes on and on. If a family has any or all of that going on, I wouldn’t expect them to stay for coffee & donuts. So, if Catholic A wants to talk to Catholic B, it certainly seems much easier to talk to them inside the church because once they leave the building, they’re gone!
In terms of those doing the talking at mass at my parish, it’s usually not that bad and it doesn’t seem to be a particular age group that does all of the talking.

An interesting thing did occur to me yesterday at the parish that my family attends. The ushers usually prop the doors open right before the end of mass. As our new Parochial Vicar was introducing himself to us from the pulpit, he was interrupted by all sorts of talking and laughing – so loud that we couldn’t hear the new vicar. With all the heads turning and a signal from the wife of one of the ushers, they closed the doors. Turns out, it’s the Sunday that the Baptisms are done and all the noise was from all of the people who had showed up for the Baptisms and were standing in the vestibule waiting for mass to finish.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue" (Proverbs 18:21)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top