Child not getting married in the church

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CilladeRoma said:
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Ammi:
This should be done in a way that expresses a desire to be friends without any contempt for them at all! It is a simple refrain/protest from the ceremony, and NOT the couple themselves.
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Not quite sure what world you live in, but I am pretty sure in the real world, the couple in question would not make this subtle distinction.
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Why not? It would be a very real and concrete distinction.
 
Lara said:
They just can’t see things from a very rational view. CilladeRoma’s husband is likely in that category. Why can’t he put himself in his father’s shoes and the priest’s shoes?
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Boy, are you way off base.
My husband is the most rational, non-emotional person I have ever met.
For him, who was discerning the priesthood when we met, BTW, it was all about the hypocrisy of the institutional Church.
His pastor, refusing to marry us over some petty rule that was misinterpreted was the proverbial straw. His faith in God and his love of Jesus is very strong, and he is one of the kindest, most compassionate, most faith-filled men I have ever met. Sadly, it is the institutional Church he has no respect for. In some ways, I can’t blame him.
 
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To you it is.
I can guarantee you, to anyone who has chosen to marry outside the Church, for whatever reason, is not going to see it the same way.
 
CilladeRoma said:
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Lara:
They just can’t see things from a very rational view. CilladeRoma’s husband is likely in that category. Why can’t he put himself in his father’s shoes and the priest’s shoes?
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Boy, are you way off base.
My husband is the most rational, non-emotional person I have ever met.
For him, who was ficerning the priesthood when we met, BTW, it was all about the hypocrisy of the Church.
His pastor, refusing to marry us over some petty rule that was misinterpreted was the proverbial straw. His faith in God and his love of Jesus is very strong, and he is one of the kindest, most compassionate, most faith-filled men I have ever met. Sadly, it is the institutional Church he has no respect for. In some ways, I can’t blame him.
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Trust me!!! I have been through this type of thing with priests! To me, this reinforces the whole significance of the laity to stand up for Catholic Teaching.

When a priest neglects his duty, or gives advice/direction which contradicts Church Teaching, we have a duty to do something about it.

I dont put priests on pedestals or consider them spiritually superior to any given Catholic. When they decide to teach something, or neglect something being brought to their attention, they should to give an account for that decision out of the interest and service of the faithful. Simply relying on their position of authority is both a copout and an insincere pastoral practice, which does not strengthen the faithful.
 
Btw, if you invited me to your wedding, I would have declined. But I would have told you why. Then when you would have explained what happened with your pastor, I would have asked him why. And when he gave the poor reason, i would have helped you find a priest who knew better.

This is what Catholic laity should be doing when priests abuse their office.
 
Ammi said:
I didnt say all invalid marriages won’t last. I said I hope the relationship does last, but the marriage be convalidated.
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If that’s what you meant, your message got blurred amid the accusations of threatening, bullying, having a lack of faith, and being anti-Catholic, all of which I strongly believe warrant an apology. At least some of the posters you directed this to are, based on their posting history, good, faithful Catholics who uphold the Faith and love God and the Church.
Ammi said:
Furthermore, one who is married outside the Church is separating themselves from His Eucharist! This act should be protested by fellow Chatholics. They should be encouraged to marry in the Church by all Catholics. I would reassure them I would pray and anticipate their choice to marry in the Church or a future decision to convalidate, and receive Holy Communion.

Let’s not forget that a large portion of these marriages happen because there was a divorce by one or both of the couple.
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Anything I could say to this would be beating a dead horse. I’ll just summarize by saying that attending an invalid wedding doesn’t automatically give a stamp of approval to any of this, and in some cases, it just might be a step toward someone actually having the marriage convalidated and returning to the Church.
 
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Interesting. Do you think that I didn’t do that?
The bottom line was, my husband wanted to be married in the Church where he had received all his Sacraments and served at the altar until he was an adult.
He was angered and hurt by much hypocrisy and “letter if the law attitudes” much like the one you seem to be projecting.
To you it may seem impossible for a faithful, learned Catholic to stop practicing the faith. To someone like my husband, he would say that your faith in the institution is misplaced.
 
Psalm30 said:
If that’s what you meant, your message got blurred amid the accusations of threatening, bullying, having a lack of faith, and being anti-Catholic, all of which I strongly believe warrant an apology. At least some of the posters you directed this to are, based on their posting history, good, faithful Catholics who uphold the Faith and love God and the Church.
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Not attending an invalid wedding is actually supported by the Church. What many in this thread have done, is accuse those who do, as being unkind, unloving, and placing rules above relationships. Furthermore, the accusation that the person who respectfully refrains from the ceremony would be the cause of enmity and harming that relationship! So no, it does not require an apology to defend against these accusations.

I strongly suggest anyone who wants Catholic based guidance regarding this issue reads the Canon law made easy article I posted. I completely agree with it.

 
You said you guys didnt even believe, at the time of your wedding. I’m not sure what that meant.
 
‘Spirit’ VS. ‘Letter’ of the law…
Letter of the law gone wild?
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Excited about baby but not the complicated surroundings! Family Life
I’m not completely sure where to start. I was raised in the Catholic church until my parents seperated when I was 13. Eventually religion just faded from my day to day life. I’ve always believed in the teachings, just never followed them like I should. Fresh out of college I married a girl (I’ll just call her R). She was raised in an agnostic household. We had a secular wedding. As time went on and we started talking about having kids I began to remember my times growing up in the Catholic churc…
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Just about two years ago, on these very forums. I’ll let the post stand for itself.
 
“the Church has no binding rules on this subject. Strictly speaking, therefore, there’s no law against attending an invalid wedding”

That’s all I needed to hear. From there on, would it be considered an opinion piece?
 
So do you criticize the annulments granted on account of marrying outside the Church as well?
 
When we were first engaged, I was a “nominal” Catholic, my husband was very involved.
It was his Pastor’s attitude, and the attitudes of those who could have helped us that changed his mind. Far too many people who upheld the “letter of the law” pushed him further and further away.
It is the “instiution” that neither of us believed in.
I have since reconcilled with the institutional Church and pray daily that my husband does too.
 
Ammi said:
What many in this thread have done, is accuse those who do, as being unkind, unloving, and placing rules above relationships. Furthermore, the accusation that the person who respectfully refrains from the ceremony would be the cause of enmity and harming that relationship!
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Until you recognize that it’s a real possibility that not attending the wedding would be viewed as unkind, unloving, and placing rules above relationships, we need not talk about this further. Could the person not getting married in the Church also see the other side of things and not be offended by a Catholic not attending? Yes, absolutely. But it goes both ways, and you only wish to see one side.
Ammi said:
So no, it does not require an apology to defend against these accusations.
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At minimum, your angry tone and argumentative nature were not necessary. At minimum. Elf and Thomas shared your views, but they spoke much more respectfully and even-temperedly. Maybe you have more compassion than you are portraying in your posts, but it’s not exactly showing through in some of them.
 
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I will not recognize that not attending an invalid marriage IN ITSELF is unloving, or unkind, or judgmental, or ruining a relationship. That is wrong to accuse. The relationship itself must stand on it’s own, apart from the attendance of an invalid wedding which is actually grave matter!

My love, compassion, and forgiveness is all offered apart from attending such a wedding.
 
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Ammi said:
I will not recognize that not attending an invalid marriage IN ITSELF is unloving, or unkind, or judgmental, or ruining a relationship. That is wrong to accuse. The relationship itself must stand on it’s own, apart from the attendance of an invalid wedding which is actually grave matter!

My love, compassion, and forgiveness is all offered apart from attending such a wedding.
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Then we’re done. Peace to you.
 
I really don’t understand what you’re trying to say. I was just giving an example of how rules can be twisted, stretched, exaggerated, and misinterpreted to show adultery, fornication, and, most likely, unwillingness to support ones children…in a church-approved light!

Did you even read the original post?

I sincerely hope that the OP of THAT thread was a troll…his ‘reconciliation’ to the church was ruining a lot of lives…if it was all true!
 
Ammi said:
ruining a relationship
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What if it does?

I’ve witnessed it before, so why would it be wrong to accuse?

I’m honestly trying to get where you’re coming from. Are you saying it doesn’t / didn’t happen because the church says… Even though your link even says there’s no rule against it.
 
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