Child not getting married in the church

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I know there is no rule against attending. Just like there is no rule against not attending. What the article explains, is that it’s a prudential matter which should accompany admonishment and praying for the couple to reconcile for the sin. Whether it is mortal or not is irrelavant, but that it is grave matter. We should not even give the appearance of supporting grave matter.

By not attending, it certainly does not imply being judgmental towards the couple, or that the one attending wishes to ruin the relationship. I resent that accusation quite a bit.
 
Ammi said:
By not attending, it certainly does not imply being judgmental towards the couple, or that the one attending wishes to ruin the relationship.
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That’s your opinion…what about the opinion of the couple who’s being stood up?
Ammi said:
I resent that accusation quite a bit.
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It can and does happen. Are you saying it doesn’t?
 
Ammi said:
By not attending, it certainly does not imply being judgmental towards the couple,
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Oh, really?
And just how do you think the couple will take it?
You may “think” you are not being judgemental, but I can assure you, the couple will most likely think differently.
And if they feel they are being judged by you, you can be assured it will change the relationship.
 
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What matters is my heart. Sorry you all think you can know it.

Ironically, you preach “heart of the law” talk, but when I express being able to refrain from a ceremony, while still loving a couple and not judging them, I’m accused of judging and enmity.

Again, because the Church never affords these marriages the favor of the law, but will automatically dismiss them in order for either party to find another lover, I am against them.

Not against the couple and their relationship! Just against the invalid ceremony.
 
Ammi said:
Not against the couple and their relationship! Just against the invalid ceremony.
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You keep saying this, but do you honestly believe that the couple will feel the same way? This is what I don’t understand. You have the right to do whatever you want, but you don’t have a right to say that people can not interpret your actions as being judgemental, mean-spirited and detrimental to relationships. While those may not be your intentions, I can assure you your actions will speak much louder than any words you speak.
 
I would hope and pray they would. They would see if they opened their eyes!

I can assure you your actions will speak much louder than any words you speak.
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Yes, actions outside the wedding would be my proof. Not their emotional demand that I attend something of grave matter.
 
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The irony, is that my approach is in an effort to destroy invalidity, because invalidity impedes grace.

And invalidity is an open door to abandoning the relationship. And it happens often.

It seems as though many Catholics do not wish to combat invalidity at all, but allow it to always be ready to issue as a means to resolve a wounded relationship.

I am for the relationship, receiving grace, and not denying grace!
 
TC3033 said:
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Ammi:
Yes, actions outside the wedding would be my proof.
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And, in the case that there are no actions to have due to the change in relationship…then what?
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What about the case of an invalid marriage never comvalidating? They never reconcile with the Church? Then what?

What if one or both of the couple has a previous marriage? Then what?

I dont act according to threats. I Express why I wouldnt attend, and offer the same love i always have. If the couple judges me, that is their mistake. I dont want friends who give those kinds of conditions. They arent a true friend.
 
Ammi said:
I dont act according to threats. I Express why I wouldnt attend, and offer the same love i always have. If the couple judges me, that is their mistake. I dont want friends who give those kinds of conditions. They arent a true friend.
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And, if you were my “friend” telling me this I would call you out on your hypocrisy. You are also putting conditions on a relationship.
See, it goes both ways.
And for someone who may be Catholic by birth, but not by practice, your attitude might just drive them further from the Church. And that is something I really would not want on my conscience. I would hope no faithful Catholic would.
 
CilladeRoma said:
And for someone who may be Catholic by birth, but not by practice, your attitude might just drive them further from the Church.
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I’d risk that over what I would see as cooperating in sin.
TC3033 said:
They may also say the same about you if you skip their wedding… ¯_(ツ)_/¯
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Indeed, but God comes first. If it costs me the relationship that’s a price I need to be willing to pay.
 
Elf01 said:
I’d risk that over what I would see as cooperating in sin.
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But is it really cooperating in sin if it brings them closer to the Church rather than driving them away?

And there’s at least one story on this thread where not attending drove someone very far away.
 
Psalm30 said:
And there’s at least one story on this thread where not attending drove someone very far away.
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That’s not portraying that situation accurately.

It wasnt “not attending the wedding” that was wrong, but the priest and diocese went completely against the Church laws, and the father didnt fight against that abuse.

The priest and diocese were the fault.

Ironically, many at CAF advise Catholics to do what their priest tells them to do. It’s that attitude which the father had. I disagree with the priest, the father and the diocese for neglecting the situation.
 
No. The wedding is not the relationship. If the wedding is unlawful, and a Catholic refrains in good faith, while expressing their friendship with the couple, then that is not being a cause for contempt at all!
 
Ammi said:
It wasnt “not attending the wedding” that was wrong, but the priest and diocese went completely against the Church laws, and the father didnt fight against that abuse.
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@CilladeRoma can correct me if I’m wrong, but from my understanding, the father not attending the wedding had a lot to do with it.
 
Psalm30 said:
And there’s at least one story on this thread where not attending drove someone very far away.
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If you’re referring to @CilladeRoma’s husband the mess up is at least as responsible.

And yes, sin is sin, even if the person repents later.

In fact my going could encourage others to marry outside the Church.
TC3033 said:
Even when your Church doesn’t have a rule against it?
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It has rules against supporting and celebrating sin. I would consider attending an invalid marriage to fall under those. Even if it doesn’t my way of making it clear would likely damage the eelationship more than not attending the wedding.
 
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