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TC3033
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What, that we’re a tight family and supported each other at our weddings. Then yes.
Hmmm. Interesting
Tell me more. Can you extrapolate where you’re going with this?
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Ammi
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No, I mean the reply you actually gave. That you dont believe it would be invalid.
Simple. Do not disown and demonize your parents, especially when they would be morally supported to not attend, according to the Church.
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TC3033
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None of us do. Any if anyone did, they didn’t seem to care. They were there for their daughter, son, sister, brother, etc. on their wedding day.
Well some would believe that they’re being disowned by not attending their wedding.
Hey, you do you (or in this case OP’s friend do the OP’s friend) but just be prepared it may not all go “hunky dorey” for ever after if “you” don’t show up to your own child’s wedding.
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Ammi
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You are affirming the very heart of the problem within our Church. Why even argue this matter at all? You are clearly saying the Church is wrong. You have no business making this statement as a Catholic, and on a Catholic forum.
I’m done with this thread. Very disappointing, except for @ThomasMT and a couple other decent posts.
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TC3033
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Nope, you’ve got your rules…from my understanding there also isn’t a hard rule saying you can’t attend, that you are taking on yourself.
Yes, yes it is.
I’m still fully confused why one wouldn’t attend their child’s wedding when there isn’t a rule (from what I understand) saying they can’t.
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Ammi
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You might want to read more carefully (post 123 specifically). You will discover the reality of what all of this is causing (real scandal).
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ThomasMT
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All these worldly concerns…
"Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; 36 and a man’s foes will be those of his own household. 37 He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; 38 and he who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.
10:37 Footnote - To answer Christ’s call to discipleship, everything must defer to this vocation. Even affection for our family, important as it is, must defer to that calling…
(CCC2232)
While those notes (in their entirety) seem to focus on priestly vocations, we are all called upon discipleship.
And in the following case, the misunderstanding of love as being pure accommodation, capitualation, and charity without any consideration for truth. Loving one another does not entail bending to fallacy just to avoid hurt feelings. It’s not about being “right,” but following the narrow path in the spirit of pursuing perfection. Admittedly, it is indeed a real challenge in today’s age to deliver truth, in a charitable enough manner, without seeming like “total jerks.” However, capitulation is not the solution, IMO
It seems that both sides of this debate are beating a dead horse in this thread. In my opinion this rift is symptomatic of a deeper underlying issue. I was reading Mathew, last night, and came across what I felt reflected the seemingly harsh reality of our times, as well as a consideration for this thread. Ignatius Didache Bible, Matt 10: 34-38
"Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; 36 and a man’s foes will be those of his own household. 37 He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; 38 and he who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.
10:37 Footnote - To answer Christ’s call to discipleship, everything must defer to this vocation. Even affection for our family, important as it is, must defer to that calling…
(CCC2232)
While those notes (in their entirety) seem to focus on priestly vocations, we are all called upon discipleship.
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TC3033
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Then don’t go, even though the Catholic Church (from my understanding…of course YMMV) says you don’t have to skip it. And in turn take the chance…the chance of destroying a relationship with a child and possibly their children…a chance that doesn’t have to be taken.
Hey, your call.
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LittleFlower378
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The person who would get mad at a practicing Catholic for not attending an invalid wedding and trying to force their views would be in the wrong.
You will not destroy any relationship with anyone if you dont go and have charity and prudence. Tell the person getting married invalidly that you love them and you want to be a part of their life but you would rather not attend an invalid marriage so that you will not give scandall. This person should understand this. My brother and dad were angry I didnt attend my brothers invalid wedding, but got over it. I kept all lines of communication open.
The sanctity of Marriage is under attack in this country but charity,chastity,meekness, and prudence will prevail.
You will not destroy any relationship with anyone if you dont go and have charity and prudence. Tell the person getting married invalidly that you love them and you want to be a part of their life but you would rather not attend an invalid marriage so that you will not give scandall. This person should understand this. My brother and dad were angry I didnt attend my brothers invalid wedding, but got over it. I kept all lines of communication open.
The sanctity of Marriage is under attack in this country but charity,chastity,meekness, and prudence will prevail.
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TC3033
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How can you say that for sure? There’s multiple posters, in this thread alone, who have witnessed such a thing. But, for some reason, here there are some who defy that this actually happens. I don’t get it…
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LittleFlower378
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Ok, it can be that the relationship would deteriorate, you are right, we dont know for sure, but the person not attending if they use charity and prudence cannot say it is their fault if the relationship does falter. In my opinion, to purposely witness to something that is not true does greater damage.
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TC3033
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Eh, agree to disagree. As was pointed out in your threads as well, I don’t believe there was a rule you couldn’t have gone…
Like I said above though, hey…your call.
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Ammi
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You have clearly gone beyond mere attendance with making sure the couple is aware it is an invalid marriage. You are one of the people who has been scandalized by these marriages.
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TC3033
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Sorry you feel that way… ¯_(ツ)_/¯
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LittleFlower378
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I dont believe to go is intrinsically evil. One can go to wedding to think it is valid only to find out at the ceremony that it is invalid. So in my opinion one as not to be rude, can stay at this attempted marriage since one did not know.
But if one knows before hand and since its not intrinsically evil in the object then we must evaluate circumstances and intention. One can have good intentions to love the couple lets say but the problem comes in the circumstances in not to cause scandall. In my opinion it would be very hard to attend an invalid ceremony without causing scandall.
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TC3033
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Like I said…your call. Your Church didn’t have rules against attending, you decided not to anyway. Your call
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Ammi
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For sure. I think there are Catholics who perhaps do attend in good faith, and express the gravity of the ceremony and the hope that the couple turn in repentance of the error.
But let’s be honest… are Catholics really doing that, and the couple still wish them to attend?
Why would a Catholic want another Catholic to attend something they are troubled over, just to appease themselves? Or why would they hold it against them for speaking out against something their faith prohibits? Why should that be cause for contempt, like many in this thread consider reason to celebrate against their own faith!?!
No, the truth is, many of these Catholics dont care, or dont believe. But you better bet they care when they want to plead for an annulment! Then they suddenly believe! A miraculous conversion.
I highly doubt these marriage supporters are criticizing the tribunals then.
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TC3033
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Are you insinuating these marriages won’t last? One of the marriges that I’ve been witness to the relationship being strained has been together over 40 years.
I find this insinuation, if that’s what you’re getting at, very un-Christian like.
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Ammi
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I’m not talking about marriages at all. I’m talking about invalid marriages. Which is the un-Christian situation. The hope is that they reconcile with Jesus in any case, so that invalidity does not last. If convalidation is possible, that would be best. Some of these couples may have a living spouse already, and be living in adultery. So we should not hope that lasts either.Ammi:
Are you insinuating these marriages won’t last? One of the marriges that I’ve been witness to the relationship being strained has been together over 40 years.
I find this insinuation, if that’s what you’re getting at, very un-Christian like.
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TC3033
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You didn’t answer my question.
Were you insinuating that it’s a lock these marriages won’t last? If so, we may need to be done.
Were you insinuating that it’s a lock these marriages won’t last? If so, we may need to be done.
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