Child not getting married in the church

[TC3033]

Will their children be raised Catholic?

IDK, doubt it.

Does the Church consider the marriage valid if everybody had a great time?

TBH, I don’t think they really care.

Apparently it’s cool to boast about an invalid marriage.

I’m not sure if this was directed at me or not… I wasn’t boasting about anything. Two of my in-laws had marriages outside of the church. Nobody skipped it. I think that’s what this thread was about right?

Any Catholic who does not wish to celebrate an invalid marriage is now being labeled a hater.

Ugh, not the hater tag coming out of mothballs.

I saw it in my in-laws family too. One of my wife’'s aunts was married in a Lutheran church. The aunt’s parents skipped the wedding and that forever put a strain on their relationship. To think that by foregoing a child’s wedding doesn’t carry high odds of truly strain the relationship, if not break it completely is a bit naive. That’s my $0.02…

 

[Elf01]

Whether you agree or not, many people, myself included, consider a parent telling a grown child “do this my way or I won’t attend or even consider you married” is a punishment of sorts.
What that says is that some “rule” is more important to their parent than they are.
That is a very difficult thing to deal with.

We need to put God before humans.

I’m a case where it worked. I didn’t attend my sisters wedding outside the Church and we still have a good relationship.

I think the fact that I sent her a text wishing them every happiness on the day helped.

 

[TheLittleLady]

It’s not “my way”. It’s the faith of those who receive Eucharist in the Catholic Church.

The Church does not forbid one from attending a presumably invalid wedding. It does not prove a lack of faith to wish to keep the relationship with one’s family.

Have you crossed this bridge with your children?

 

[Ammi]

Please read what I was responding to…

"do this my way or I won’t attend or even consider you married”

It is not anyone but the Catholic Church, who established this impediment. Not me. Its not “my way”. It is the law of the Church. And furthermore, it is the basis of possibly the largest grounds for declarations of nulity, making one free to leave the relationship and marry someone else!

 

[TheLittleLady]

it is the basis of possibly the largest grounds for declarations of nulity

Actually, those who are in an irregular marriage do not apply for nullity, it is a simple administrative process.

 

[Ammi]

Same thing. The marriage is NULL. And they can file divorce, leave the relationship, and attempt another marriage. Doesnt matter how long, how many kids, who was trying, who was refusing counselling or Reconciliation. It’s not a marriage. Too bad kids, your family is broken.

 

[Psalm30]

Same thing. The marriage is NULL. And they can file divorce, leave the relationship, and attempt another marriage. Doesnt matter how long, how many kids, who was trying, who was refusing counselling or Reconciliation. It’s not a marriage. Too bad kids, your family is broken.

Ammi, we know the marriage isn’t a real marriage. No one is saying it is. I’m not sure why you repeat this over and over.

I am curious, if one of your children grows up and, despite everything you have taught him/her about Catholicism, decides not to practice the Faith, how are you going to handle that situation?

 

[Ammi]

I am curious, if one of your children grows up and, despite everything you have taught him/her about Catholicism, decides not to practice the Faith, how are you going to handle that situation?

I would not support that decision. But I will love them with all my heart.

 

[Psalm30]

I’m not going to support that decision. But I will love them with all my heart.

And how are you going to express that love?

 

[Ammi]

The same way I’ve raised and treated them from the beginning.

 

[Elf01]

And how are you going to express that love?

Expressing love doesn’t mean supporting bad decisions.

 

[Ammi]

Yeah, that would be more like moral/spiritual harlotry.

 

[Psalm30]

Expressing love doesn’t mean supporting bad decisions.

It depends on how one goes about not supporting bad decisions. In the context of this thread, not attending the wedding of one’s child may be viewed as hurtful and cause a rift in the relationship. But I’m not going to get into all of that again, as I do not think certain posters are going to see things any other way, and I really don’t feel like getting my head chewed off again, as I did earlier in this thread.

I will just reiterate that the Church does not forbid anyone from attending an invalid wedding. It is certainly possible to express your disappointment/disapproval of someone’s decision to marry outside the Church, while still preserve the relationship by attending the wedding.

This time I’m really bowing out. Enjoy the rest of the discussion.

 

[Ammi]

…not attending the wedding of one’s child may be viewed as hurtful and cause a rift in the relationship.

Only by those who dont understand or believe the repercussions of rejecting Church law. The world and the devils hate when a Catholic stands against invalidity. And the more Catholics compromise, the more of a stronghold the world has on the Church.

I will just reiterate that the Church does not forbid anyone from attending an invalid wedding.

Neither does the Church accuse those refraining from invalid weddings that they are causing harm to the relationship, or not loving their son or daughter, or inflicting hurt on them!

 

[TC3033]

Neither does the Church accuse those refraining from invalid weddings that they are causing harm to the relationship, or not loving their son or daughter, or inflicting hurt on them!

I had to go back and re-read this a few times.

So, are you saying that because the Church doesn’t teach it…it doesn’t cause harm to the relationship, does not look to the son or daughter that “you” don’t love them, nor does it inflict hurt on them…because it says so?

I’m just trying to understand what you’re saying here, because at least 2 of those 3 things (harm the relationship and inflicting hurt) most certainly does happen. Maybe not all the time, but the majority of the time.

 

[Ammi]

The difference is that the aggression is not coming from one who refrains from an invalid marriage, but the rejection of valid marriage.

 

[TC3033]

If I understand the point you’re trying to make: That isn’t necessarily how it comes off though.

I personally think the action of actually skipping the wedding would be more “aggressive”. That action is what would harm a relationship, cause hurt or a feeling of rejection.

 

[Ammi]

If I understand the point you’re trying to make: That isn’t necessarily how it comes off though.

I personally think the action of actually skipping the wedding would be more “aggressive”. That action is what would harm a relationship, cause hurt or a feeling of rejection.

Invalidity is an aggression to validity. It is an attack on marriage. The Church has established this impediment, and so the impediment impedes grace. Rejecting marriage in the Church is a rejection of the grace of marriage.

Refraining from an impediment to grace is a counter attack. And it infuriates the devil. So the devil attacks the one who refrains. Preys on their weakness, and gaslights them.

 

[TC3033]

OK…I have no idea where you’re going anymore.

If you tell a loved one that you’re going to skip their marriage (because the Catholic Church believes it’s invalid), even though you don’t have to…expect that to put a huge strain on the relationship…to the point it may break and be gone.

 

[Ammi]

If you tell a loved one that you’re going to skip their marriage (because the Catholic Church believes it’s invalid), even though you don’t have to…expect that to put a huge strain on the relationship…to the point it may break and be gone.

The Catholic Church doesnt just “believe” but established and Teaches this impediment. And if you express this to a loved one, and they reject the Teaching, then they are putting a huge strain on their relationship with Jesus and His Church!

My post was extremely clear, and was directed in the same direction as every one of my posts in the thread. An impediment to valid marriage is an impediment to grace.