Chit Chat Before Mass, Proper Dress

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CAF friends, you are not going to ever stop Christians from greeting each other and expressing concern for each other.

I think a parish can and should encourage people to not indulge in worldly chatter about sports, shopping excursions, home projects, travel plans, media, etc. while in the nave before or after Mass out of respect for those fellow believers who are seeking the solace of silence.

I also think a parish should encourage people to use quiet voices when speaking before or after the Mass out of respect for people who are trying to worship, pray, or meditate in the Presence of Jesus in the Tabernacle.

But I don’t think a parish should try to squelch greetings of Christian love and concern between brothers and sisters in the Lord.

When I see someone entering the nave who has just experienced a tragedy, or who is undergoing a trial, or who has passed through suffering, or is enduring physical pain, or who just experienced joy (e.g., having a baby!), or conquered an adverse condition (e.g., done with chemo!), or enjoyed the return of a loved one (e.g., on leave from the military!)…I see absolutely NOTHING wrong or disrespectful towards the Lord Jesus in quietly greeting that brother or sister and letting them know that I am glad they are with their Christian family here in God’s house!

The key word is “quiet,” The joyous shouts can be voiced outside of the nave. But a quiet, sincere expression of love and joy is entirely appropriate in the Presence of the Lord Jesus, Who I believe smiles upon His children when they demonstrate love for each other.
 
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I agree Peeps. I don’t mind quiet talking before mass. I really dislike people talking during mass. :roll_eyes: It is difficult to listen to the readings or the homily when the people in front of you are having a conversation!
 
I do not believe Magdalena Rita does not ‘care about other people’. Furthermore, I do not believe that every person who is talking (even quietly talking) in a Church before, during, or after Mass is doing so because he or she is ‘concerned about people’. Quite often people who talk are simply reacting to something that affects them, whether it’s 'the Impeachment" or “the Kardashians” or the hometown football team or whatever.

In a praiseworthy attempt to be certain that one does not issue a blanket condemnation of actions (because it is entirely possible that in a given church someone has undergone some big emotional event and is indeed being ‘quietly’ encouraged or supported) one should be equally certain not to issue a blanket ‘umbrella’ implying that an action (talking in church) should always be considered in the ‘helping others light’ rather than the ‘disturbing’ light.

I’ve noticed a trend over the years to as it were make the ‘exception’ into the actual ‘rule’. I believe this kind of, “but it’s just people who care for each other and that’s Christian dammit” idea that is trying to make the ‘exception’ into the rule.
 
Self righteous religious people should examine themselves 1000x more than they do other people and meditate and be critical of all the things they themselves do that God can’t stand. Yet God still loves them unconditionally and isn’t hypercritical of them. (You)(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)
 
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catholic03 said:
I believe that an adult man should try and wear a suit to Mass, and possibly a tie unless they are, for example attending daily Mass as a construction worker.
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Oy Vey…I don’t think I even own a suit. You wouldn’t like my wife’s parish. Jeans and a button shirt are pretty the norm.
 
We seem to live in a time where people do what they want and do so when they want to do it. It is easy to chit-chat just outside of the church before and after Mass.
As for dress, I know that we should be happy that our brothers and sisters attend Mass, and not be so concerned with their attire.
But, it bothers me when I see people dress as though they were going to a ball game or some other event.
We are going to Mass to give glory and praise to God. Should we not be dressing up for this special event?!!!
 
I wore slacks to both of my parents’ funerals. Because that’s what I wear. And there was no disrespect intended to God nor to my parents.
 
One of our priests actually gave a homily on this…about how we would dress up to meet the president, so why not God? We wouldn’t go to meet a very important person in shorts and a T shirt but people walk into the house of God that way…he also talked about how we will show up on time to a movie, but stumble into mass late, and he brought up sacred silence before Mass too…some people actually contacted the Bishop and complained About the homily!!! People are so obstinate and don’t want to be told what to wear or what to do, even if it’s sacred. Maybe they just don’t see it as sacred…that being said, I dress nice on Sundays and just ignore everyone who doesn’t. When I go to a daily mass I do sometimes wear jeans but I will always wear a nice shirt with them. I would never wear shorts.
 
Peeps said:
CAF friends, you are not going to ever stop Christians from greeting each other and expressing concern for each other.
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I completely agree. 🙂
Peeps said:
But I don’t think a parish should try to squelch greetings of Christian love and concern between brothers and sisters in the Lord.
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I live in a small town and attend a small town parish. Many people are related or friends. Most everyone smiles and whispers a hello, how are you to people as you walk in. Sometimes even giving someone a hug. That is a little different than, quietly entering into a conversation about their latest concerns.
Surprisingly despite it being a small town and everyone knowing each other, pretty much everyone is quiet. There are few here and there who will enter into conversations but it is pretty much understood to be quiet while others are praying. After Mass, outside, people gather in conversation.
Peeps said:
But I don’t think a parish should try to squelch greetings of Christian love and concern between brothers and sisters in the Lord.

When I see someone entering the nave who has just experienced a…
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I agree a smile or a quiet hello or wave as you go by is not a problem but that is not what the OP is concerned about. It is the chit chat. The discussion of the concerns of the day while prayer is happening and in all charity, these concerns can be discussed outside where people are not praying or even discussed over a friendly phone call.

Sometimes one may think something is so important they just have to ask about it and talk about it in the nave before Mass, but how do we know what the other people who are trying to pray are going through.

As I said earlier, one quiet voice talking is one thing to listen to while trying to pray. It can be difficult enough, but when you add it to a bunch of quiet voices it becomes one loud voice.

There is also a common denominator frequently heard in these quiet whispery voices, “he” and “she”, which is an indicator that they are usually talking about someone else…

IMHO since this topic does come up frequently, it is a bigger concern than I believe most people think.
 
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Use it as sanctification. Pray for the people who do it and do penance for them.
I agree with you its frustrating, though that doesn’t matter as I said its sanctifying and of course directly or indirectly the will of God. People have the choice to worship or not. Sadly they chose to chitter chatter and leave Jesus all alone. We can and ought to make reparation for that. That can be a reason to stay in parishes where this goes on, to at least be one voice keeping Jesus company.
As to what you should do about it, ask God first and foremost. Then ask him to provide opportunities to do whatever intervention you decide with him. Be gentle and tender.
We do have to be careful not to judge harshly as we dont know where people are in their spiritual lives or how well they are or able etc. A saint I forget which one maybe St Francis said you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, I’m pretty sure that works for saving souls too.
 
I AM DONE posting in this forum. I innocently asked feedback and some chose to criticize and flame me.
 
I don’t see why attire would be so bothersome when altar servers wear robes, but I also tend to appreciate more humble atire vs formal attire anyway.

Chit chat is awful though, before, during, and after. It seems like every church has that one usher that will talk to you even while the priest is speaking. I never want to be rude, but the lack of self-awareness is astounding sometimes.
 
All true! Did you miss my points completely? Should chat it up and disrupt others who are praying?

What’s your point exactly?
 
sefarlow said:
I AM DONE posting in this forum. I innocently asked feedback and some chose to criticize and flame me.
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It can be challenging posting here at CAF. I have started very few threads in recent years but rather just respond because I, too, was criticized about a thread in the past.

With that said, though, I do think that many have supported your post and responded kindly, so I think there is a little bit of a mix of responses, which is typical of CAF. I would stick around a while longer.

🙂
 
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I was taught by my mother that its complete silence when entering into the church. We enter into gods house and are there to come and pray not to talk or gossip.
 
sefarlow said:
I was brought up that inside the church (nave) it is supposed to be a place of silence and reverence. I attend daily mass and there are those who carry on conversations before mass in the church when people are praying/meditating to prepare for mass and those conversations are VERY distracting. When I attend a daily mass at at larger parish 30 minutes away there is no chit chat. How can I address this or should I just put up with it?
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Address it with Father (and if needed, a member of his staff or a deacon).

This was an issue at my local parish, so much so the staff started asking volunteers for ideas. We ultimately put a sign in daily mass chapel that says something like “please maintain silence in this sacred place.”

We placed the sign outside the chapel door, and father made an announcement. Things were quiet for a few weeks and then got loud again.

Then the staff asked volunteers for more suggestions. I suggested moving the sign INSIDE the Chapel doors, right in the middle, where people have to walk around it and cannot miss it (before, it was off to the side, outside the doors).

From what I understand, it seems to work better now that the sign is literally in their face when they walk into the chapel.

God Bless & Godspeed.
 
I am surprised the altar server isn’t wearing cassock and surplice.
 
Peeps said:
I think a parish can and should encourage people to not indulge in worldly chatter about sports, shopping excursions, home projects, travel plans, media, etc. while in the nave before or after Mass out of respect for those fellow believers who are seeking the solace of silence.

I also think a parish should encourage people to use quiet voices when speaking before or after the Mass out of respect for people who are trying to worship, pray, or meditate in the Presence of Jesus in the Tabernacle.
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I agree with you, but the time when I’m not overly concerned about chit chat is when it’s older parishioners. I’m not going to carry on a conversation prior to LIturgy, but if a couple of 90 year olds are sitting in the back pew talking, I don’t have an issue with it. It may be the only time they see each other. I’m ok with them having a couple minutes of friendship prior to Liturgy. There was someone on the board who was really proud of himself when he told off a couple of senior citizens in his parish. I can’t even imagine. These folks knew my parents, and they even remember my grandpa, and he’s been gone for almost 41 years. I just could never do something like that. And I think my grandpa would be ashamed of me if I did.
 
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