Chit Chat Before Mass, Proper Dress

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If the priest is ok with it (both the shorts and the chatting), then I doubt there is a whole lot you can do in the end. You could try speaking with him and letting him know you noticed it, and it bothers you. I suppose it could be that the priest doesn’t realize it actually bothers people, if no one speaks up. But if after talking to him, he does nothing about it, you’ve done what you could. I would then find another parish if possible.

I know many say “offer it up,” or even find something wrong with YOU for letting it bother you, but the truth is, the faithful have the RIGHT to orthodox and reverent liturgies that nourish their souls. And this includes a meditative atmosphere in church and appropriate dress. And from my experience, where this kind of behavior is accepted by the priest, the rest of the liturgy is also not as reverent as it could be. Maybe free of abuses but nonetheless has a casual “feel” to it, not appropriate for a re-presentation of Christ’s sacrifice that happens at Mass. Maybe that’s not true at your church, but I’ve visited MANY where there isn’t just one isolated problematic behavior, and everything else is just fine.
 
Bluebright said:
We can and ought to make reparation for that.
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AMEN!!!

Over 160 years ago, Our Lord gave Sister Mary of St. Peter the devotion to His Holy Face. This is what He said to her Nov. 24, 1843:

“The earth is covered with crimes. The violation of the first three Commandments of God has irritated My Father. The Holy Name of God blasphemed, and the Holy Day of the Lord profaned, fills up the measure of inequities. These sins have risen unto the Throne of God and provoked His wrath which will soon burst forth if His justice be not appeased. At no time has these crimes reached such a pitch.”

Again, He said this in 1843!!!

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)
 
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sefarlow said:
I was brought up that inside the church (nave) it is supposed to be a place of silence and reverence. I attend daily mass and there are those who carry on conversations before mass in the church when people are praying/meditating to prepare for mass and those conversations are VERY distracting. When I attend a daily mass at at larger parish 30 minutes away there is no chit chat. How can I address this or should I just put up with it?
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Well, the church was historically a center of the community. Fairs and markets would be in front of churches and in smaller towns it would be the largest building. It seems only natural given this history that people going to church today would use the time before or after mass to catch up with friends.
sefarlow said:
There is a man show attends daily mass regularly but comes dressed in cargo shorts, white socks, tennis shoes and a t-shirt. Even worse, he acts as altar server 2 days a week or so. If I say something to the priest I believe I would get the response “At least he is attending.” Should I just tolerate it?
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Is this really your business?
 
MagdalenaRita said:
Most elderly people around the age of 90 were brought up with quiet in the Church and still maintain it.
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My mother (eternal memory!) and I were in church earlier this year. There were people talking in church before & after Liturgy. Mom was fidgeting in church and after Liturgy, a woman came up to her and said that she shouldn’t be doing that in church. She got angry and said that it’s better than gossiping in church which is a greater sin! WOW.

Since then, people are more quiet in church. My mom. ❤️
 
EndTimes said:
There’s the way God wants us to assist those who are mistaken

The Spiritual Works of Mercy are:
  • To instruct the ignorant
  • To counsel the doubtful
  • To admonish sinners
Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
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👏👏👏 Beautifully said!
 
The pastor needs to address it with the people talking:
  1. A finger over his mouth and a “shhhh”. If that doesn’t do it, progress to
  2. An announcement, “Silence is requested in this sanctuary.” If that doesn’t do it, progress to
  3. “SHUT UP! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO PRAY!!!”
 
Cruc3S1gnatus said:
There’s the way God wants us to assist those who are mistaken

The Spiritual Works of Mercy are:
  • To instruct the ignorant
  • To counsel the doubtful
  • To admonish sinners
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Couldn’t agree more …I think you are mistaken
 
Thank you for this. I didn’t know of this specific revelation. How lovely. I shall read more. Thanks
 
Irishmom2 said:
I know for a fact that some seniors only get out to go to mass and it is the only time they see each other all week. My parish is made up mostly of seniors. While I appreciate silence, I understand their need to speak to one another. For some of them, it literally is the last time they see each other.

I can suck it up. Or I get to mass earlier before everyone else.
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Interesting point I hadn’t considered. I can understand and respect that. On the same token, I know several folks (myself included) where it’s difficult to focus, and even harder to regain focus while praying due to ADH…LOOK SOMETHING SHINY!!! 😄

Perhaps the pastor could encourage people to chat in the narthex, or use the parish center as a social spot before and after Mass? The elderly et. al get to talk and mingle, people in prayer aren’t being interrupted. Win-win.
 
The elderly with joint problems who generally sit through most of mass, are in pain every time they get up and down . Asking them to sit in the narthex or hall to talk before mass is not going to work.
 
melonhead said:
Perhaps the pastor could encourage people to chat in the narthex, or use the parish center as a social spot before and after Mass? The elderly et. al get to talk and mingle, people in prayer aren’t being interrupted. Win-win.
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Not always.

My old parish did not have a narthex. It had a small vestibule with no room for seating and the the Church proper.
Our parish hall is 500 yards from the Church, across the street and down a hill.

If our priest asked people to stop talking in Church, many would have no social interaction what-so-ever.
 
fide said:
Pray. Pray! Pray for our Church, so much lukewarmness, so much worldliness, so much irreverence! God help us.
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So much judgmentalism.

Do you actually know any of the people who upset you? Do you know for a fact that they are lukewarm in their faith? What do they do for God and mankind outside of Mass? Do you know if they are “worldly”? Have you been to their mansion, ridden in their BMW, and accompanied them on their European vacation? Do you know that they are irreverent? You can read their thoughts and know their hearts?

C’mon, now.
 
The irony of a poster using images like BMWs and wealth (which Fides never even spoke of in the post you’re replying to) to condemn Fides for ‘judgmentalism’ while you feel free to judge THEM for a thought crime that wasn’t even in their heads. . .is rich.

C’mon now.
 
CilladeRoma said:
If our priest asked people to stop talking in Church, many would have no social interaction what-so-ever
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If the Church knows someone in that type of situation, the parishioners should be reaching out to them in other ways.
 
stpurl said:
The irony of a poster using images like BMWs and wealth (which Fides never even spoke of in the post you’re replying to) to condemn Fides for ‘judgmentalism’ while you feel free to judge THEM for a thought crime that wasn’t even in their heads. . .is rich.

C’mon now.
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Fide accused them of “worldliness.” One manifestation of “worldliness” is obsession with possessions.

But of course you are correct–just because someone owns fine possessions doesn’t make them worldly. There are people who own or wish to own inexpensive possessions who struggle with worldiness.
 
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The Litany of Humility

For Private Use Only.

O Jesus, meek and humble of heart,
Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being loved,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being extolled, etc.
From the desire of being honored,
From the desire of being praised,
From the desire of being preferred to others,
From the desire of being consulted,
From the desire of being approved,
From the fear of being humiliated,
From the fear of being despised,
From the fear of suffering rebukes,
From the fear of being calumniated,
From the fear of being forgotten,
From the fear of being ridiculed,
From the fear of being wronged,
From the fear of being suspected,

That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase
and I may decrease, etc.
That others may be chosen and I set aside,
That others may be praised and I go unnoticed,
That others may be preferred to me in everything,
That others may become holier than I,
provided that I may become as holy as I should,
 
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I know very well how wrath is stirred in the worldly, when they are called to zeal. Jesus was hard, but simple and true, when He taught of the radical divide between this world and the eternal one to come.

There is a great difference between being judgmental, and discerning - seeing and understanding the signs of the times, and the spirit that is at work in the world.

Mt 6:24 “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.”

Mt 16:24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.
Mt 16:25 For whoever would save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
Mt 16:26 For what will it profit a man, if he gains the whole world and forfeits his life? Or what shall a man give in return for his life?”

Jn 5:44. “How can you believe, when you accept praise from one another and do not seek the praise that comes from the only God?”

Jn 15:18 “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.
Jn 15:19 If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.
Jn 15:20 Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will persecute you; if they kept my word, they will keep yours also.”
 
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