The Church effectively says that the LGBT community should be treated with love and respect and then offends them by saying that such an important and intimate part of their personality is disordered. It’s offensive because homosexuality is a form of love and does not deserve condemnation. It deserves the same respect as heterosexual love.
The Church can’t simultaneously offend gay people and say that people should be treated with respect. I know it’s not offensive to gay Catholics, but it is to those outside the Church. It would be more honest if the Church says that gay people are morally evil and that their right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is not as important as it is for heterosexuals. Given the fact that the Church opposes equal rights for LGBT people, that would be the more honest position.
Good point though.

I’ve had to think long and hard about how to phrase things. English isn’t my native language.
Well first of all thank you! And I have to say that you write very well. I certainly wouldn’t have known English isn’t your first language if you hadn’t told me!
So I suppose I would respond with some comments and a question.
The Church effectively says that the LGBT community should be treated with love and respect and then offends them by saying that such an important and intimate part of their personality is disordered.
The Church can’t simultaneously offend gay people and say that people should be treated with respect.
If I’m understanding you correctly, you’re saying that for homosexuals, both one’s sexual orientation and the romantic relationships which flow from that orientation, constitute a large part of that person’s identity. Consequently, anything other than an outright affirmation is an attack on the person and thus contradict’s the Catholic Church’s assertion that homosexual people are to be treated with love, respect, and sensitivity.
I note that your profile you identifies you as a secular humanist. Consequently, I assume that means you think that Catholicism, along with any other religious system, is false. Perhaps you’re like many New Atheists and believe that religion is morally bad, or perhaps you may think it is intellectually bad (i.e., not true). However, religious belief is a huge part of the identity of billions of people. In fact, using the language of the Church I would argue that you see us as disordered since you believe the energy we put into our religion isn’t oriented towards an appropriate end. Do you think it’s possible to to a secular humanist while treating religious people with sensitivity, love, and respect? Is the only way to love your Christian neighbor to affirm that his belief system is correct?
I think this also brings up another issue. We disagree about the morality of homosexual sexual relationships. However there are likely some areas where we do agree. Statistically speaking, you are likely not in favor of polyamorous marriages. Is it possible for you to affirm that marriage is between two people while simultaneously loving and respecting those in polyamorous marriages or desiring to be in polyamorous marriages? To take a very extreme example, what about pedophilia? Can we love a pedophile without affirming his tendency towards pedophilia. One area where Christianity may differ from contemporary western culture is the idea that we need to love absolutely everyone. How do you propose we do this without affirming what absolutely everyone does?
It’s offensive because homosexuality is a form of love and does not deserve condemnation. It deserves the same respect as heterosexual love.
If I understand you correctly, you’re saying that because homosexual romantic relationships are a form of love, and since love is always and everywhere a good, love does not deserve condemnation.
I would begin by suggesting that the Catholic Church is perfectly content with two men, or two women, loving one another. In fact she promotes it: it’s called friendship. I think it’s important to be specific here. The isn’t so much against homosexual love as much as its against homosexual sexual/romantic relationships.
I think there are plenty of circumstances where we might condemn a sexual relationship. A husband may love his mistress, and vice versa, but I suspect you might have no problem condemning that husband’s affair.
The question then becomes whether a homosexual romantic relationship is one to be celebrated or one to be condemned. Catholic-Christians understand the world and scripture such that they cannot support a homosexual sexual relationship.
… to be continued!