Churchgoers' Attire (Whatever happened to 'Sunday Best'?)

[thann]

People are so very casual about Mass attendance now. My choir sits up front (no choir loft ) an as a choir member, I can see everyone. Probably not even half are dressed in what I would consider church clothes (modest, clean, tidy, inoffensive). The rest wear dirty or tattered jeans, skirts that are very short, bare midriffs, sleeveless t-shirts with offensive tatoos, etc.

Why shouldn’t we dress our very best when coming together as a community to worship our Lord? My parish community is middle-class, so there is no reason for folks to come to church looking like they just got through gardening or as though they were heading to a boating outing after Mass. Mass takes top priority at my home and we all spend time getting ready – husband and son wear suit and tie, or occasionally docker pants with a polo shirt.

A couple of weeks ago at Evening Prayer one of the choir members asked me why I was “dressed up” (I was wearing a suit, stockings, and heels). She was genuinely surprised when I replied, “I dressed up to come to church.”

There are many who cannot afford a large wardrobe – but certainly they can afford a single decent outfit for Sunday Mass.

'thann

 

[Detroit_Sue]

Melman:

Lucania:

When you see a gentleman wearing a Tommy Hilfiger polo shirt with Docker shorts and deck shoes, I’m pretty sure he has more appropriate clothes to wear to meet Our Lord. /

QUOTE]

You really have a problem with that sort of dress? Seems completely acceptable to me.
It’s a little…um…casual, wouldn’t you say? No one should wear shorts to Mass. Ever.

 

[Crusader]

If the average Catholic were invited to attend President Reagan’s funeral in WDC as just one example, you can bet they would wear “their very best.” Some would scramble to obtain “their very best” if they did not already own appropriate clothing.

In essence they would make an effort to dress well for attending a funeral service in an Episcopalian church for a famous man.

Many of these same people (perhaps including myself) would be back to their polo shirts/shorts/deck shoes the following Sunday when we attend the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass to worship God.

We have the ability as Catholics to experience heaven on earth (the Mass) and a great many of us dress like we are headed for the beach or a ballgame.

I am going to seriously review what I wear to Mass…

 

[system]

Detroit Sue:

It’s a little…um…casual, wouldn’t you say? No one should wear shorts to Mass. Ever.

Oh, come on. In our parish which is completely orthodox and conservative, at least half the folks wear shorts to the earliest mass. More as the day goes on. I’m talking about dress (no cut-offs) shorts, which would be appropriate anywhere during hot weather.

 

[Peace-bwu]

My husband and I have made alot of sacrifices so that I can stay home with our 3 children, Many times I have had to remind myself that it doesn’t matter that I am wearing the same thing over and over or that I have to wear jeans with a nice shirt because I am wearing my best and it looks respectful. This has taught me to be humble.
The issue here is inappropriate distraction. I try not to notice what other people are wearing, it’s not a fashion show. (trying to draw attention to oneself by wearing fancy, expensive clothing can be a problem as well) It isn’t about how expensive and fancy the clothes are, it is about how respectfully a person is dressed… When we are sitting in front of a young girl with her belly showing and her butt crack peeking out, every time she sits down, or a mini skirt or shorts that practically show her rump… THAT is a distraction, not to mention disgusting. Leave the night club dance clothes at home, or better yet, don’t wear them at all. People need to learn a little modesty. This is the sort of behavior which pushes an establishment to enact a dress code.

 

[Edwin1961]

Detroit Sue:

It’s a little…um…casual, wouldn’t you say? No one should wear shorts to Mass. Ever.

Our Pastor CRANKS up the AC so If anyone wore shorts in our church, they would freeze!

Go with God!
Edwin

 

[MarLee]

WhiteDove:

Telling someone to take the log out of their own eyes doesn’t help. Even the EME’s dress this way. I shop in thrift stores myself. A pair of nice slacks and button up shirt is more respectful IMO, and not any more expensive than an outfit more appropriate for cleaning out the barn.
Having lived in the prarielands I can vouch for that! I’ve seen men Eucharistic Ministers wearing clothes they wouldn’t even clean out a barn in! It has nothing to do with cost but modesty and respect.

 

[DrCat]

EDB:

It is now summertime, how many young people will you see at Sunday Mass in SHORT shorts, tank tops, micro-mini skirts, crop tops, etc.

In my parish? None. Our pastor would tell them to leave and get dressed before coming back. He prints dress guidelines in almost every bulletin and has them posted on the parish church and chapel doors, as well as in the parish office.

John

 

[maggiec]

Someone said you could always tell the people with “less money” at church because they are always dressed in clean neat clothes (and not short shorts)

 

[Veronica_Anne]

Edwin1961:

Just wondering if a poll can be taken on this category?

I am on a fixed budget and what clothes I do have are not all ‘Sunday Meeting clothes’. And I have to admit that there I have worn a pair of jeans to church (no holes or tearing or discoloration). I also will wear a decent casual three button shirt (pull over) or a short sleeve dress shirt.

In our Byzantine Liturgy, we do A LOT of standing, and pastor even permits us to wear ‘comfortable shoes.’ but NOTHING torn or worn out.

As for the ‘Sunday bum look’ not THAT is unacceptable!
There was a country music song back around 1979 by Johnny Paycheck which talked about a man who was not well dressed but had the devotion to Jesus. He got thrown out of Church because the person had unkept hair and old clothes. The person in the song was what you would call a ‘homeless man’.
If the song’s character’s clothes are all that he has on his back, then is that disrespectful?

It is said, ‘Clothes make the man’, but isn’t it what it in the heart the most important to God?

Go with God!
Edwin

I remember that song! Wasn’t that person really Jesus, but nobody could tell that was Him? The point of the song is that “whatever you do to/for the least of these, you’ve done to/for Me.”

Pretty gutsy, huh?

 

[Veronica_Anne]

DrCat:

In my parish? None. Our pastor would tell them to leave and get dressed before coming back. He prints dress guidelines in almost every bulletin and has them posted on the parish church and chapel doors, as well as in the parish office.

John

Omigosh!

Now THERE’s a priest who has his priorities totally wrong, wrong, wrong!

We’re there for celebrating the Eucharist… not to impress others with our own sense of how good our clothes are.

Sheesh!

 

[Veronica_Anne]

WhiteDove:

Why do people dress like they just finished feeding the hogs when they go to church?. Why are so many good Catholics trying to get on the 10 worst dressed list of the decade?

I wouldn’t dress like that to interview for a job or meet the president, so I certainly won’t dress that way to commune with our Lord on his holy day.

Sincerely, WhiteDove

As long as I’m clean and modestly covered, and it’s not pajamas, I wear whatever I’m in at the moment.

Whatever anybody else thinks is none of my concern.

Only GOD matters!

And HE knows full well what I look like, even nekkid!

I’ve never had a sense of what the most socially approved thing to wear is, anyway.

I DO know, however, that as long as it’s clean and I’m modestly covered, I surely don’t care what anybody else thinks.

Including a priest.

:twocents:

 

[misericordie]

:clapping: Dr. Cat, yoy have a GREAT! Pastor! Wow, my family is originally from a town called Isabela, in P.R. I know for a fact that in P.R., the Bishops are GREAT:dancing: and they are very orthodox. They also support thier clergy who are orthodox and encourage them to preach modesty in clothing and respect. This is especially true of the Diocese of Mayaguez, P.R. (West Coast part of the Island) where priests are KNOWN for not being afraid to teach Catholic Doctrine in its fullness. Here, there are few priests who also have the courage and strong will to preach truth, but one way or the other, cafeteria catholics (with a relativistic mindset: concerned about feeling more than truth, and nothing is bad anymore) then label these poor guys as old fasioned. I would tell them, “father, keep on telling it like it is, and tell them that whoever does not like it: too bad.”

 

[Karl_Keating]

Veronica Anne:

As long as I’m clean and modestly covered, and it’s not pajamas, I wear whatever I’m in at the moment.

Whatever anybody else thinks is none of my concern. …

I DO know, however, that as long as it’s clean and I’m modestly covered, I surely don’t care what anybody else thinks.

Including a priest.

:twocents:

If you have a regular office job, you surely don’t take this attitude. You dress according to the standards of the company. You do not dress purely according to your own whim. You take into account cleanliness and modesty, sure, but more than that–you dress in line with the prevailing standards.

In some offices that’s at the “coat and tie” level. At others it’s at the “collared shirt” level. In still others a uniform is expected. To dress so that you “don’t care what anybody else thinks” not only might result in your losing your job, but it says to others around you “I don’t respect you all that much.”

I have trouble recalling anyone who seemed to dress up for Mass in order to impress those in the next pew. But I certainly have seen many people who could have dressed as though Mass were more important than making a quick run for a pizza–but didn’t.

 

[Beverly]

I must admit this is one subject I have a really hard time deciding on. I try to dress neatly for church but I will admit I have worn jeans to church. Our budget is stretched very tight and when I buy clothes, I tend to buy things I can wear to work. And I really cannot wear dresses or anything too fussy to work as a special ed aide. Lot of lifting, sitting on the floor and such. I usually try to have at least one pair of black slacks in my closet that can be worn with a variety of shirts and dressed up a little for church. On the one hand, I think, yes, we should dress up for this - we are going to God’s house but then I will think, “God has no interest in my clothes, as long as they are modest.” I have two teenage sons who attend mass of their own free will though they are usually in jeans. But I do think it is appropriate for the priest to tell someone they need to change or cover up if what they are wearing is terribly immodest and revealing. I wish more priests would do this.

 

[Crusader]

Veronica Anne:

As long as I’m clean and modestly covered, and it’s not pajamas, I wear whatever I’m in at the moment.

Whatever anybody else thinks is none of my concern.

Only GOD matters!

And HE knows full well what I look like, even nekkid!

I’ve never had a sense of what the most socially approved thing to wear is, anyway.

I DO know, however, that as long as it’s clean and I’m modestly covered, I surely don’t care what anybody else thinks.

Including a priest.

:twocents:

Interesting how people would dress-up to meet say the governor of their State, but they “wear whatever I’m in at the moment” when it comes to worshipping God during the Mass. Absolutely fascinating.

I do know the excuse of “only GOD matters!” is just that – an excuse.

 

[Crusader]

Fast_ed75:

This is a problem not only with Catholics but also Protestant churches - even many of the evangelical ones (although they do not have the real presence). I think it is a result of many factors that are listed but primarily the reason is that we live in a society that is saturated in doing whatever feels good or is comfortable. I brought this up at another forum once and many became hostile- “God only cares what’s in a person’s heart” and “Bill Clinton wore a suit to church” were some of the quotes I remember. It is amazing to see the low-income black congregations om the inner city wear suits and dresses, but to go to a parish in a wealthy suburb you will find flip-flops, shorts and t-shirts- even among the EEM’s.

Father Benedict Groeschel has made this point many times, using the people of the South Bronx as an example.

 

[DaveBj]

Veronica Anne:

I remember that song! Wasn’t that person really Jesus, but nobody could tell that was Him? The point of the song is that “whatever you do to/for the least of these, you’ve done to/for Me.”

Pretty gutsy, huh?

I remember the song too. Actually, the person in the song was Paycheck himself; at one point he talks about having seen some of the people in the congregation at his last night’s show, screaming for him to sing “[Take This Job and] Shove It”.

The point is well taken, however. Actually, points on both sides of this argument are well taken. I tend to dress fairly conservatively myself, but I will avoid wearing a suit and tie if I possible can. On the other hand, bare midriffs, butt-cracks (male or female), and cleavage have no place when one is going to meet Jesus. I believe a person’s dress at Mass reveals what he/she really thinks Mass is. Just my :twocents:

DaveBj

 

[baltobetsy]

DaveBj:

On the other hand, bare midriffs, butt-cracks (male or female), and cleavage have no place when one is going to meet Jesus.

I would say bare midriffs, butt-cracks and cleavage have no place outside one’s home, period.

It’s my custom to go to church in “whatever I’m wearing at the moment,” but that’s always a skirt or dress. I never dress below “business casual” unless I’m at the beach or doing heavy cleaning, so I’m always ready to meet Jesus in church. I realize that’s not customary for most people, however.

Betsy

 

[dream_wanderer]

When I was a child attending our Baptist church I used to hate hate hate dressing up for church on Sunday. I didn’t mind church itself but for some reason I couldn’t stand the ‘getting ready’ part. I’m afraid I’m an outdoorsy ‘I’d rather be hiking’ or camping’ and a little bit of a tomboy.

I never had that ‘great awakening’ that some girls have when they suddenly turn very feminine. I use that term as it deals with outward, not inward properties. I think I’m very feminine…I just don’t show it or advertise it the same way other women do. As a result when I became an adult I opted for the churches with the most casual dress code. I am one of those rare women who just doesn’t think about clothes all that much! Even now when I actually need to buy new clothes I agonize over it and try to tell myself the money would be better spent elsewhere.

I’ve never worked in an office situation and to be honest I don’t plan on every having to do that…so I don’t know how I would react in that situation. Most of my jobs have been working in summer camps. A dinner with the President…I would probably borrow something and give it back the next day.

The church my husband attends is an ‘anything goes as long as its clean and modest’. I liked it. No fashion parade and no judging people on how they were dressed.

However I started to change a bit when I started attending a Catholic Church and I started to pay attention to it all. I still didn’t ‘dress up’ but I did pay for some nice dress slacks and tops. I sometimes go to church with my husband and then onto mass. What I think is funny is most of you might think my attire for mass casual but at my husband’s church…I’m dressed UP!

I usually attend the Vigil Mass and that is a lot more casual…I’m clean and modest and the last thing I want to think about at mass is my clothes.

I have noticed a difference though. When I have attended Vigil mass the night before and go to church with my husband the next day…I wear just any old thing to the Protestant service. Jeans and a t-shirt… If I didn’t go to Vigil mass but I’m instead going to mass right after going to his church…I tend to look a lot nicer. The folks at his church have noticed I think.

However as to the attire of others…if its young girls I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps they are naive or they haven’t been taught properly. I do wonder though at why adults my age would want to attend church in shorts! That I cannot get used to!!! It doesn’t really ‘distract’ me but it does make me wonder.

dream wanderer