While I think I’ve found a personally-satisfactory answer to the circular reasoning thing (NFP-ABC), I’m still having trouble with the whole “when it is good or not to use NFP” part of the discussion.
conniejean:
They are financial reasons, psychological reasons, or health reasons… It has to be a REAL good reason, other wise you must always be open to life when having marital relations with your spouse.
Here’s that “open to life” argument that just doesn’t seem to hold water for me. Here, the Church seems to be saying that unless you have a very good reason to
not have children, then you
must have children. This is a different mentality than the one I espoused (and with some nice support, thank you very much) in my last thread. It is a mentality and logic which leads to the circular logic about ABC that is frustrating Alan (and many others, I’m sure). The command that married people
must have children is confusing, especially in light of passages like 1 Cor 7, which strongly implies that marriage is to share relations in love to avoid sexual temptations and sins. Nowhere does it say that marriage is for making as many babies as humanly possible. I would say “be fruitful and multiply” is more a directive for our race than for each person or couple. Paul admits that each is called differently. While children are definitely one of the most wonderful blessings God can give, the effort needed to raise them is significant, and should it be directed toward other holy endeavors, great good could come there as well. And God needs workers in many, many areas of service, not just the home.
For an instance of how this is just weird in application, say that after practicing NFP for several years with very good reasons, those reasons disappear. To all the women reading this who have learned NFP, can you possibly just “turn off” your awareness of your cycle so that you no longer know when you are fertile? Are you then
morally bound to have sex every day until it brings forth conception, since any abstaining is essentially NFP, which is no longer morally acceptable? Please read all this again until you really see the point before jumping in with a response.
Anything that can be construed as a command to have children just doesn’t make sense.
It makes a lot more sense to say that every married couple should be open to the possibility that God will call them to be parents, but that He may also not want them to be parents. They may need to be married, just as Paul says, simply to abate their lustful desires in a way that is not evil. But it is up to the couple to discern that with God. A couple should be able to honestly say “I don’t have any physical, mental, or financial reasons to avoid a child right now, but I’m going to practice NFP to avoid conception because I really think God still wants us to wait.”
What do you think?
Peace,
javelin