Agreed. And in our case we just became another statistic. Things between us became turbulent and fell apart. And to my everlasting regret I know exactly what I did to cause it and exactly what point I gave into the temptation and fell to sin.
I guess playing house is fun. Good luck getting a ring, though.
My husband and I married after several years of living together. We were in our 40s at the time, and trust me when I say that we were neither playing house nor what it all fun.
I understand Luna. I just have a lot of dear friends who cohabitated before marriage and described a feeling of nothing being different or special after the “paperwork”, or my poor dear girlfriends who long for marriage, but can’t get their boyfriend to commit. It’s the whole “Why buy the cow…” thing. My first marriage occured because I was pregnant when I was 18. I’m not perfect It didn’t last. I did correct my errors and did it right this time, and WHAT A DIFFERENCE waiting made.
What a rude and presumptuous thing to say. I already have the ring, and a firm wedding date. Thanks though.
Very rude.
My husband and I have been married 22 years, 12 of them in the Church. We shacked up before we married. Somehow we’ve managed to beat the odds, but I can tell you that there IS a difference when you are already intimate and sharing a space before you actually marry. Our wedding was a civil ceremony, in front of a judge, included no family, and yet, there was a difference after that ceremony and paperwork was completed. It mattered, a lot. But waiting for intimacy until our wedding night was never a thought since we had a history of fornication from early in our relationship. We had broken up twice before we shacked up and had been apart several years and then God put us back together.
Granted I’ve never been married but I do feel my Fiance respects me. He wasn’t a Catholic before but he was always a very devote Christian, all his life. He was raised Pentacostal and he left that branch as soon as he really began to dive into scriptures and read them and understand them. He bases his life around Jesus and His teachings and had an interest in the Catholic church for years but never actively pursued a transition until we found out we were pregnant. This was mostly because, he claims, the timing was never right between his family protesting, the military sending him on deployments and RCIA class timing. But here we are now. I do believe he respects me deeply, despite our situation.My husband and I have been married 22 years, 12 of them in the Church. We shacked up before we married. Somehow we’ve managed to beat the odds, but I can tell you that there IS a difference when you are already intimate and sharing a space before you actually marry. Our wedding was a civil ceremony, in front of a judge, included no family, and yet, there was a difference after that ceremony and paperwork was completed. It mattered, a lot. But waiting for intimacy until our wedding night was never a thought since we had a history of fornication from early in our relationship. We had broken up twice before we shacked up and had been apart several years and then God put us back together.
There is an element of respect that is missing in our relationship, particularly from my husband toward me, and that I never recognized as being missing, but which I can never earn. I didn’t value my own body enough to keep it safe and whole. I knew no better, having lost my anchor at age 10. But once that sexual integrity is gone, it is not possible to re-create it. Would I do it differently now? Yes. Do I love my husband and my sons in spite of the way we lived our previous life? Of course. Do I wish better for my sons and their future wives? Oh yes. And all of your sons and daughters as well. Once you have lost the possibility of that special kind of awe of sexual intimacy between a husband and wife, it is a lifelong ache in your soul.
Lived together for almost two years. Got a ring 19 months after moving in. Been married for 20 years.
Very true.
My dad died when I was young. My mom remarried when I was a young adult. Her second husband’s pension did not survive him and go to her when he died. At that point in time, she became eligible to receive my biological dad’s Social Security. If she had not married my step-dad, then she would have received Social Security in addition to other income that my step-dad received. Between the time that she turned 65 and the time that he died, that would have added up to more than $300,000 over 20 years.
The very definition of cohabitation by the Catholic Church implies sexual activity.
It has been said here, that cohabiting would be likely to create “scandal”. Given the more mature attitudes about coed living - there are many multi gender and multi sexuality households now which are strictly financial/living situations, that my take on this view is that it is simply old fashioned and outdated thinking. Only a small mind would find scandal, and it should not be anyone’s concern except for the person with the small mind.
I think the only problem would be from scandal, since the world will assume that sexual relations are going on. If they are married, there is no scandal.
I think the assumption these days is not necessarily that sexual relations are going on, unless you are of a certain generation. Maybe I am wrong about that. Regardless, I can understand how such rumors or speculation could harm a community of close knit and/or immature people, but I don’t really see how it would affect a modern church in our society. The whole idea of scandal seems quaint and outdated to me.
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