Comparing holiness

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If two people are consenting to commit a sin, that would be a sin for both of them. I’m not going to say I was completely right, because I most certainly was not. But there was also a lot of emotional abuse involved.
 
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So some men feel possessive in their own way after sleeping with a woman. I guess casual sex is not that casual is it? I didn’t think men were immune to jealousy or possessiveness. I guess sex is for marriage to avoid such complications.
 
I’m not addressing you personally. If two people consented to sin, shouldn’t they be able to handle all the consequences? It is weird that people feel hurt after years of promiscuity. Who is to blame? No one forced them into such behavior but their pain is indeed real and deeply felt
 
MargaretofCortona said:
Does fornication hurt a less emotional person? Is fornication only a sin against women because they will bear the harsher consequences of the sin?
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A woman has no special corner on disordered consequences.

It’s about ordered/disordered sins. Emotional people do not suffer more or less in the totality of things. The consequence to those less emotional is just as real.
 
All of Creation shows this Truth, the Truth of God, the Holy Trinity whom we are made and find true satisfaction in loving! To paraphrase some Abbey!
May we move more and more to the Service of God!
 
MargaretofCortona said:
So some men feel possessive in their own way after sleeping with a woman. I guess casual sex is not that casual is it? I didn’t think men were immune to jealousy or possessiveness. I guess sex is for marriage to avoid such complications.
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Marriage is the only place for hormones that are ordered towards bonding.

It’s not to say that men can’t get jelous, but that the testosterone mixed with oxytocin and vasopressin is more likely to result in a different outcome.
 
I get what you’re saying, I don’t think it’s that weird. Sex complicates things. I think it’s unreasonable if someone wants to live that lifestyle to get angry over that, but I don’t think it’s weird. You’re very cerebral, I like that. You’re clearly intelligent, you’ve clearly thought this out, that’s wonderous, I wish I had more insight to offer, but all I have is my own.
 
You said men feel like the women is theirs or that they have conquered someone?
 
MargaretofCortona said:
I’m not addressing you personally. If two people consented to sin, shouldn’t they be able to handle all the consequences? It is weird that people feel hurt after years of promiscuity. Who is to blame? No one forced them into such behavior but their pain is indeed real and deeply felt
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Two people are two people.

The consequences both physically and emotionally for each are going to vastly depend on many things. From their background and formation to their guilt at manipulating or being manipulated.

Both are to be blamed equally.

As long as both are adults and one does not hold inordante power over the other than the sins are equivical.
 
I’m only cerebral about things that do not have to me. I think honestly we’re human. Not matter what you technically agreed to, I don’t think any verbal agreement or even mental one overrides human emotions, passions, hormones. Consequences exist regardless.
I do feel bad. What do you do then? No one ruined your life but you.
Those are the situations I wonder how you turn to God when you victimized themselves.
I can see why people stay set in their sins. It must be hard owning up to certain faults.
 
MargaretofCortona said:
You said men feel like the women is theirs or that they have conquered someone?
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Yes. The mental reaction to testosterone + oxytocin+ vasopressin is most likely to result in a feeling of conquered ownership, rather than jealous ownership. It’s not a 100% guarantee, it’s just the scientific reaction of those hormones. Men can and do have jealous feelings…but it’s often not going to be the first thing that occurs.

Rememer, men have some estrogine and women have some testosterone naturally.
 
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I don’t know what conquered ownership feels like or what that even looks like.
 
Oh, I would say it’s more complex that that. But it is often pride. Sometimes it’s psychology…research borderline personality disorder, for example. 🙂

How old are you, if I may be so bold?
 
MargaretofCortona said:
I don’t know what conquered ownership feels like or what that even looks like.
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It’s why men have an “easier” time having sex with many women. It’s why polygamy almost always centers around one man and many women. A man’s hormones allow him to feel as if he knows that a woman will remain loyal to him despite his interactions with other women.

While a woman seeks more and more exclusivity every time those hormones are produced.
 
Welcome to the universe. Suffering is the great mystery and theme for writing, where would all the poets be without such things.

Then, of course, it is all God’s Providence. God’s smart. He’s wise. Think of Smart and Wise times infinity. 🙂
 
I don’t like calling it pride. I don’t think it is a bad thing to feel offended a person used you for sex and moved on quickly to serious relationship especially if you liked them. I’m not sure if that is unholy pride. I don’t know how the humble way to accept that would be honestly.
I’m 20 something. Lol
 
An interesting situation confirms just this theory. Some dude on MTV show wanted an open sexual relationship with a woman he liked but once she mentioned the possibility of other men, he didn’t seem to want that sort of arrangement any longer.
 
A little older…27. lol. I just feel 17. What is the humble way to respond to knowledge someone was using for sex without any hopes of commitment or a future only to quickly move on to someone they want? The godly thing is to wish them well. It is difficult to imagine this wouldn’t wound a person’s pride. I’m not even sure if it is the bad kind of pride. Who wants to feel used like an object or experiment?
You must be careful to what you agree to.
 
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