Complimenting women

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I too was wondering about that. What body part would people compliment?
 
I was trained never to be alone with a co worker regardless of gender unless there were windows or the door was open with others nearby. There was no reason we could not step into the hallway or if I needed, I had my secretary sit in on meetings.
 
I can’t remember the last time I complimented a woman outside of my family. I generally feel no desire to… One time, I went to church with a female friend from church, and she wore a beautiful dress that day - very unusual, but I didn’t question it. I felt compelled to compliment her on it, but I refrained since none of our other friends came with us that day and I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. Little did I know, she had feelings for me, which could be why she dressed up, came alone that day, and asked if I had feelings for anyone to boot.

I avoid interacting with women my age simply because of all this MeToo nonsense, which is really a shame because I’ve had women be like “Why are you leaving an empty chair between us? You can sit next to me!” or make similar remarks that suggest they don’t want to be treated like they’re toxic. On the other hand, you can’t just waltz through life interacting with women in a way that’s been natural since Moses wore short pants, or you’ll soon find yourself out of a job or slandered as being something you aren’t.

It’s obvious both men and women are suffering as a result of the clownish relations that have formed under modern liberalism, and I do hope things return to normal soon.
 
otjm said:
But at work, you are not there to make friends; get there on time, do your work well, then leave.
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Who said so? I have made many friends at work. This is the problem with the METoo movement. They expect everyone to follow rules that they just made up.
OKComputer said:
In todays day and age, with the MeToo movement at it’s height, it’s a horrible idea to compliment a woman on her appearance.
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That is so true.
Irishmom2 said:
Ladies are often worse than men with the “anti-compliments.”
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Seems like a double standard.
 
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A good rule of advice: If you wouldn’t say it to another man, don’t say it to a woman. How you word things matters.
 
Agnus-Dei said:
I will not compliment any woman in the workplace for anything. I even avoid being in the same place at the same time without a witness. I will not even speak to one without a witness present. The man will not be believed as his word is doubted from the start. Say nothing and you have nothing to defend.
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Good advice. Unfortunately that is they way it is now. I read that recently a TV commentator was fired because he was accused of telling a woman that she looked great in her makeup.
Neithan said:
Usually there are cameras around now too,
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Costco sells surveillance cameras with the possibility of recording. It is well worth it to install a camera in your office as proof that you did nothing wrong, just in case.
 
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AlNg said:
I read that recently a TV commentator was fired because he was accused of telling a woman that she looked great in her makeup.
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Yep and in his send-off statement he said it’s never appropriate to compliment a woman on her looks at work. He learned the lesson too late. If someone with his longevity and clout can be forced out then anyone can
 
TheLittleLady said:
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Agnus-Dei:
I even avoid being in the same place at the same time without a witness. I will not even speak to one without a witness present.
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If I were a manager, that would cause serious repercussions, having a team member who refused to speak to other members.
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He didn’t say he wouldn’t speak to other members. He just said he wouldn’t speak to a woman in the workplace without a witness present. Today, it’s better to be safe than sorry. An innocent man can have his life ruined by just one false allegation that is levied against him, and if there aren’t any witnesses to back him up, it’s his word against the lady’s – and you know who will be believed.

It’s a sorry state of affairs that it has come to this, but it’s precisely because management has blown off or overlooked truly inappropriate behavior in the past that we now have our present situation bordering on paranoia. I think management in previous years is largely to blame for how things are now. Women who complained to management only a few years ago about being harassed in the work place were often retaliated against, even fired for being troublemakers.

This stuff cuts both ways. Those in charge need to be responsible as well as co-workers.

So, now we have a situation where a man can’t even be gentlemanly – if he opens a door for a lady, it can be misconstrued. And that’s only being a gentleman. It wasn’t that long ago that this kind of courtesy was expected of nicer men.

It seems things have gone from one extreme to the other. As I’ve stated above, common sense is no longer common.
 
Elf01 said:
Are there really that many stories of normal interactions or false allegations?
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Certainly. It’s not something mainstream news outlets generally report on (unless a story goes viral), but it’s reported often enough by smaller news outlets and in anecdotal experiences for it to be a worry among men.
CoffeeFanatic said:
A good rule of advice: If you wouldn’t say it to another man, don’t say it to a woman. How you word things matters.
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Eh… If I tell a male co-worker “Hey, your new haircut looks good! You look younger now, that really suits you, etc.”, it’s safe to say he’s not going to feel creeped out or objectified and report me to HR for sexual harassment. Not so with many women today.

Men and women are different, and we must take that into consideration with each interaction. The only thing I typically a compliment woman on is her cooking, because I know women who go out of their way to cook greatly appreciate such feedback and won’t react negatively to it.
 
Prudence. God can show favoritism, as that is His prerogative as Creator. We are called to see the beauty of Christ in all other humans.
 
A lot of these posts are entertaining.

I manage a staff of about a dozen men and women. I’ve been through harassment training. (And I’m getting better at it all the time.).

Legally speaking, for a situation to be considered harassment, it has to be consistent, ongoing, targeted, and have an effect on a person’s ability to do his/her job.

I’ve heard it from half a dozen lawyers who specialize in workplace discrimination lawsuits: In the workplace, people have to be able to function normally and relate to one another as friends, colleagues, fellow human beings.

From an actual legal, courtroom standpoint, the real world is not the minefield some of you are making it out to be.

Also—if I had a man who wouldn’t meet one-on-one with a woman, etc, as described above, he wouldn’t work in my office.

Personally, I’ve only ever complimented women that I’ve dated. But that’s me because I’m sort of socially inept sometimes.
 
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