Confused on the way to approach Gay Marriage

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"I believe and profess all that the holy Catholic Church believes, teaches, and proclaims to be revealed by God."

I am so on the fence with this teaching and only this teaching, I don’t know if it would make my confirmation true.
 
I was under the impression that your trouble here was in the socio-political support vs. opposition of gay marriage and not the Church’s teaching about sexuality: that homosexual sex is intrinsically evil?
 
I am just scared of harming someone by saying what the Catholic church teaches
 
You can give assent whilst not totally understanding it all yet. Imagine your situation is a little like a youngster refusing to start school because they don’t want to do maths but They are confident with other subjects. Maybe they won’t ever like math but it’s part of the curriculum there for a reason and even engaging with it will help you down the line at some point. I’m not good at analogies sorry !
 
I see this in two different areas. Civil and faith, As a civil issue, I am neutral on the issue. As a catholic and according to catholic teaching the church should NEVER marry same sex couples.
 
Contrary to what some members of CAF might’ve told ya, we’re under no obligation to perpetually wear poster boards citing the Church’s objections to various things.🙂
 
I keep praying that I will understand or make some sense of it. Even my partner who was born Catholic and never was confirmed will not get confirmed due to this. This is a really big hump.
 
Is it wrong to make your faith private? I am very comfortable with that, it is the thought of having to tell someone that something is disordered which makes me feel physically sick. I imagine having a child who is gay and I just cannot see myself saying that to them. I am very wary of harming someone.
 
This is pretty close to where I currently stand (and have stood for a while). I suspect our Bishops (at least here in the United States) do as well. The secular definition of marriage has been opposed to the true, Catholic definition for generations now. That horse long ago left the stable. When new threats to marriage pop up in a culture the Church fights them publicly and vociferously while they’re still novel. Once they’re taken for granted she throws in the towel and picks up the mantel of another sociological fight. When was the last time you heard a Catholic bishop (in the United States or Europe) speak about the obligation for a Catholic to do all he can to fight legalized no-fault divorce?
 
I dare say that if we all waited until we were totally on board and in full understanding with all the teaching there would be no Catholics at all. Sometimes it just comes down to obedience and trust really . For me , I dislike the teaching about contraception but I am now going to go with NFP now I’m married and a new Catholic . I never had a great desire to be a parent but if God wants me to be a parent he will use that to bless me and change my heart. It’s already happening as id have never agrees to NFP before being received. Equally if it’s not in his plan, it won’t happen. Nothing will happen to you that God doesnt use as a blessing and the more you go to mass the more u will be transformed
 
There’s a whole heck of a lot of area between always sharing your unsolicited religious opinion about things and never doing so!
 
Coming to terms with the teachings on contraception was hard for myself also, thankfully my partner believes it is no problem. It was more myself worrying I would find no one who was ‘old fashioned’ haha…
 
So God has helped you over that hurdle and he will with the teaching on homosexual acts
 
Here’s another good example!

Artificial contraception is gravely immoral and intrinsically evil.

When was the last time contraception made its way into a Catholic Answers “5 Non-Negotiables” pamphlet?
 
Is it okay to just say I am a Catholic and I am also taught to not judge, therefore I leave this to God?
 
OK, maybe real life examples are in order:

I live in San Francisco, California (think of what this city is known for). I have my opinions about homosexuality. They’re in line with those of the Church. My friends and acquaintances know that I’m Catholic. They’re also neither stupid nor oblivious so they certainly know what the Church thinks of homosexuality. I don’t think I’ve ever once been asked what my opinion about homosexuality is, and so I don’t give it. There are rainbow flags everywhere in this town. I can’t go a single day without seeing two men or two women showing public displays of affection. I don’t go around constantly pointing them out and saying “That’s a sin! Mmmkay!?” If for some reason somebody in my life couldn’t put 2 and 2 together and deduce my opinion about homosexuality, and asked for it I’d share it with them using the gentlest words I could think of. They’re my opinions and you asked!

When it comes to the societal issue of same-sex marriage, I generally support it. During the Prop 8 fiasco here in California 10 years ago I voted “No” (as in I supported keeping the new, judicially imposed status quo of legal, secular marriage benefits being extended to any two individuals irrespective of sex/gender). I wasn’t Catholic then, but I’d probably vote the exact same way today. I know what the hysterical crowd on CAF thinks. I don’t care what they think. I’ve thought long and hard about this, I’ve prayed about this, I’ve spoken to multiple priests and a bishop.

Before 2015 this caused me some grief with my fellow Catholics because the laws were not yet settled in the United States as a whole, instead there were a patchwork of laws across various states, and in some cases the legality of same-sex marriage was oscillating back and forth either due to judicial fiat or voter fickleness. In 2015 the Supreme Court ruled that same-sex marriage bans violated the federal constitution and over night gay marriage was the law of the land in all 50 states and territories of the United States. Barring some huge 180° turn in Supreme Court jurisprudence (which is very unlikely) or an explicit amendment to the federal constitution defining marriage as heterosexual and monogamous (even more unlikely), same-sex marriage isn’t going anywhere. It’s done.

Today, among my Catholic acquaintances, fellow parishioners, etc. I never hear same-sex marriage spoken of. It’s just not even on the radar anymore. It’s like no-fault divorce. We’re still against it in principle. If we’re asked for opinion about it we’ll offer it. We aren’t making a huge stink about it because, really, what’s the point?
 
I just cannot see how telling a gay person that they’re disordered is not hurtful.
The Church does NOT teach that people with same sex attraction are “disordered”. People are not disordered.

The same sex desires are disordered. There are also desires that heterosexuals have that are disordered.
 
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