So I recently went to the temple for a friend’s endowment (he asked me to come). I was late arriving, so wasn’t able to be there for the endowment ordinance (it isn’t like church where you can just show up. They close the doors to the initial endowment room at the beginning, and you’d have to wait for the next session). Instead, I ended up doing proxy sealings, because after you do sealings, you can go to the Celestial Room, and the endowment ordinance ends in the Celestial Room, so I could meet him and everyone else there.
On the one hand, it definitely was cool to be with so many young people on a weekend doing religious things (there was also a large group of youth at the temple for proxy baptisms). On the other hand, the whole time I was thinking/praying to God to help me know whether this House really has His “signature” on it.
When we met in the Celestial Room, we chatted for a bit, and he asked me about the purpose of a specific aspect of the endowment that is always discussed as to whether it is symbolic or something we would really do. I won’t get into specifics, but I’m sure we all know what I’m talking about. Brigham Young has this “famous” quote that is relevant (it is quoted in various other places so I feel okay giving it here):
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Your endowment is to receive all those ordinances in the house of the Lord which are necessary for you, after you have departed this life, to enable you to walk back to the presence of the Father, passing the angels who stand as sentinels, being enabled to give them the keywords, the signs and tokens, pertaining to the holy priesthood, and gain your eternal exaltation**
He also asked me if I felt “confused” after my endowment. I said that we’d talk later on about everything, since he seemed like he didn’t know how to interpret what just happened (he may have just been overwhelmed since it’s a lot to take in the first time, and that’s why everyone always says “you have to keep going”), and I didn’t have much time to hang around.
Also, after going to Mass recently then going into the temple, I definitely noticed the difference, and perhaps more significantly, I felt the difference. It really has been something I’ve thought about ever since I’ve been LDS, but put it up on the shelf. And of course adding the “reason” side of the equation, I have often wondered about the continuity of the LDS temple rites with those of the Biblical tabernacle and temple(s). I’m aware of various LDS apologetics that attempt to make the connection, but to me, it always seems to fall into the same problem that has been my issue with LDS apologetics on ancient Judaism and Christianity: the apologists, in Nibley style, grasp at anything and everything, finding parallels everywhere, saying “look! it’s there in the Gnostic texts, Joseph Smith couldn’t have just made it up!” (something I’ve said frequently). Essentially, I see no Church of Jesus Christ of Former-day Saints, a cohesive unified group with these practices in one place, instead of all over the place. Even in the writings of the very earliest Christians we have, LDS apologists will quote things to prove beliefs like exaltation, yet those ECFs believed in traditional doctrines, and deification/theosis was never lost. Hmmmm…
Oh and I’m almost finished reading “
Becoming Gods-A Closer Look at 21st Century Mormonism” by Richard Abanes (author of “One Nation Under Gods”). I highly recommend it! Although he’s Evangelical, I appreciate his respectful approach, as well as the fact that his book engages much of the recent LDS apologetic efforts by FARMS/MI/FAIR, including those on the issue I just mentioned (attempting to find certain unique Mormon beliefs and practices anciently), as this is what many find comforting in believing that JS didn’t make it all up (I know I ate all of that stuff up).
SO, just wanted to share that. I’m sure many of you would like me to post “YES, I resigned my callings, left the LDS Church, attended Confession, and am a believing and practicing Catholic again!”

, but I’m not there yet. I’m leaning there, but I’m not there yet. Very difficult indeed…