Contraception and Catholic couples

[_Christopher]

The road to destruction is wide.

 

[SwissGuard]

MichelleTherese-

That is an AWESOME link. Thank you for sharing that! You have contributed to the opening of my eyes. God Bless!

 

[Proud2bRC]

dts:

**Denver Archbishop Charles Chaput said that the booklet is meant to “stir up new interest and support” for natural family planning, which he said is used by only 4% of Roman Catholic couples of childbearing age **

Of course, for every couple actively using NFP, I assume there is an equal number using no method at all. For instance, I know many Catholic couples who are infertile through no fault of their own, who do not use NFP, but still give their full assent to Humanae vitae.

So the 4% number quoted here is NOT equivalent to the overall number of Catholics of childbearing ago obedient to Humanae vitae.

 

[I_Fly_Me]

Poisson:

Not exaclty what you are looking for but have you ever hear Dr. Janet Smith’s talk entitled " It is amazing she quotes a bunch of statistics which may be of interest to you.

I wanted to echo Poisson’s point and just add that “Contraception: Why Not?” was the turning point in my and my wife’s faith. Luckily we were given it as part of our pre-cana material BEFORE we were married.

Seriously … I rolled my eyes as I pulled the tape from the package and showed my wife the title. We figured we would start ‘getting it out of the way’ on the ride home … the ride from the church to her driveway took 15 minutes … we couldn’t shut the tape off though and, sat there for the next hour and listened to the rest of it.

In that one hour, we stopped being ‘cafeteria Catholics’, who believed that we could be conscientious objectors in the areas with which we disagreed. We became two much more humble believers that would try to learn and obey all of the Church’s laws whether or not we understood the reasons for them.

I cannot tell you how grateful I am to whoever decided that that tape should end up in that packet. They were responsible for quite an advance (reversal?) in our journey; in fact, they may just have saved my and my wife’s souls.

I have since bought a box of a hundred copies of that tape to pass on … I hand it out to just about everyone I know and I am getting to the point where I love to see that almost imperceptible roll of the eyes as they realize what I am handing to them…

If you are interested here is were to get the tape (the site is a fantastic resource as well):

omsoul.com/item140.html

God bless,

 

[Proud2bRC]

AnnieM:

Is there anyone else who uses no method at all? I mean, after having been taught NFP, I know when I ovulate, but we don’t ever abstain just because we may be fertile. We figure God knows us and our situation better than we do.

Though we know and taught NFP, we have not used it since our youngest of three children was born. He’ll be 8 this August, and his sister is almost 10 and oldest brother almost 12. Frankly, we thought we’d have 2 or 3 more children by now, but God has not gifted us with any more since our youngest was born. If anything, our knowledge of NFP has been used to try to acieve pregnancy more than avoid it during our married life.

 

[Proud2bRC]

Poisson:

Not exaclty what you are looking for but have you ever hear Dr. Janet Smith’s talk entitled “Contraception: Why Not?” It is amazing she quotes a bunch of statistics which may be of interest to you.

Actually, I was blessed to hear her talk in person at a Catholic Medical society conference several years ago, where she covered the “Contraception: Why Not?” material in her tape as well as a more in depth talk on the philosophical underpinnings of Humanae Vitae.

I kept several of “Contraception: Why Not?” tapes in my patient waiting room for a long time, to give away to whoever wanted them, and gave them away at our NFP classes. (I need to reorder some more, come to think of it.)

 

[p_2]

None of our close Catholic friends or my wife and I use artificial birth control. I wonder if that’s why we’re friends?

Contraception, Why Not? is what allowed us to put our faith in God and accept as many gifts as he would give us. We are joyfully awaiting the arrival of our 5th child in December.

We got together with another family and ordered 100 CD copies from www.omsoul.ocom for $100 (an 80% discount on the $5 single CD cost). A great way to tithe. My plan is to place at least 10 copies behind the NFP brochure at our church information rack.

Peace.

 

[mom26sofar]

I also put between 11 and 20% I just can’t believe its less than 10%. That is so sad to me.

As you all know we just joined the Church at Easter. It was a long 3 year journey and at the beginning of that both dh and I thought about the mistake we had made by having him get fixed! By the way, there is a great website for those men considering the big V. I thinks its www.dontfixit.org
Anyway, we did end up convinced God needed to be in charge and the surgery was covered under our insurance which is a HUGE miracle from God. Most insurance companies cover the V but not the reversal. We took some NFP classes while waiting for the surgery and tried to learn as much as possible. I still don’t think we are experts but for us, at least right now we are open each cycle. I got pregnant one month after surgery and then again 9 mos after our dd was born.

Praise be to God!!

 

[SarahSmile]

I called heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse; therefore choose life. Deuteronomy 30:19

---

**"If a husband is to be a true symbol of Christ in the “one flesh” union, then he must speak the language of Christ: “This is my body which is given for you” (Lk 22:19) But a contracepted act of intercourse declares: "This is my body not given for you." In a sense, the contracepting husband acts not as a Christ but as an anti-Christ.
And if the wife is to be a true symbol of the Church in “one flesh” union, then she must skeak the language of the Church ( as modeled by Mary): “Let it be done to me according to your word” (Lk 1:38). But a contracepted act of intercourse declares: “Let it not be done to me according to your word.” In this sense, the contracepting wife acts not as the Church but as an anti-Church."
**Christopher West~Good News about Sex and Marriage Chap 6 pg109 **

 

[perpetua]

We are a NFP family (3 kids so far), although we actually haven’t needed to use it yet, as we have no serious reasons to avoid a pregnancy. We moved across the country two years ago, and we are having a very hard time meeting other like minded couples and families to form friendships with. Even amongst my mothers group at church I don’t know of anyone else who is faithful to the church in this. They are nice women for the most part but I just can’t feel that close to them… It has been very difficult as we were good friends with another couple (beautiful family with 5 children) before we moved, and we have felt rather lonely. Any suggestions on how to find like-minded friends? Getting involved in the parish, my MOMS group and my husband is in KOC hasn’t really helped us find any…

Also, I am presenting to my MOMS group on NFP next month. I am giving each of them a copy of Contraception Why Not, and various other literature… Any suggestions on how to present so they will listen and not just shut down and tune me out? Most of the group are quite well off financially, but I would suspect that the majority would cite financial reasons for only having their 2 children.

Thanks!

 

[Mistermerlin]

I must say I’m incredibly encouraged by the the responses to this thread.
My wife and I are the cordinators of the Pre-Cana program in our parish and we are constantly amazed by the couples that come through our program and their mis-understanding of what NFP actually is. And what we give them is only a top line treatment of the subject.
IMHO, not enough is done from the pulpit on this topic. Obviously, the priest runs the risk of alienating some but I think it’s a risk that needs to be taken. The truth needs to be spoken no matter how painful it may be.

The Peace of the Risen Lord be with you all!

 

[mrconrail]

I am very saddened by the low number of Catholics who are open to all the children that God may want to give them. I do think that most are “Sunday Catholics” and do not take time to learn what and why the Church teaches. As a result the only things that they learn about the Church is what they hear from the pulpit. I don’t know about anyone else but in my 33 years, I have never heard a homily that talked about how wrong contraception is. (I have heard countless homilies about abortion)

What saddens me even more is that my wife and I have been praying for a child since we were married 7 years ago and their are other people who God wants to bless with children and they don’t want the gift.

I offer the suffering of wanting children up to God to give the strength to those who have (or want) large families to face our cruel society.

 

[Shari]

I have also listened to contraception why not, and loved it. It was very good. Some friends of mine had a vasectomy and then as they started to grow in thier faith they knew it was wrong, and through the help of a good priest who has a friend who strictly does reversals(due to a conversion in his life)and gives very good discounts for this, they were able to have on done and are now expecting their fifth baby. The insurance didn’t pay for it, so they had to use the money to fix the drive way to have it done. But God is good, they have found the money to get the drive way fixed this year instead of next. For all the people trying to conceive you are in my prayers, God has a plan for you, just carry your cross well and He will lead you. God bless you.

 

[BryanW]

0-10 But I’m going by what other Catholics I know tell me about themselves. For some reason those that use birth control seem to be very ready to share that info with you

 

[AmoAmasAmat]

I would love to be able to somehow be a more effective witness to my older (by 16 years) sister-in-law about Humana Vitae. She is so against Catholic teaching in this area, and I know it has been a big source of strife for my brother and her as a couple… she ended up getting a tubal ligation done on her own, despite his protests.

Last summer during a visit (they live far away) she was pretty condescending to me and I felt myself almost apologizing for explaining that my husband and I were using NFP (though not really – as my husband says, we really just practice NF!)

I guess my question is 2-pronged:
1.) how do you provide an effective witness to intimidating older/wiser sorts? Is it best to just be an example to them and pray for them, or is this a cop-out?

2.) Am I sinning when I am not forceful enough in my condemnation of her position to her?

My questions are specific to me and my sister-in-law’s situation, but I also run in to similar situations (feeling almost like I have to joke about it) when talking to friends too. Am I just weak or what?? Any suggestions?

 

[CNote]

Does anyone know what the sources are for Contraception: Why Not in regards to the medical studies? I’d like to be bale to point people to the actual studies. Sometimes, people discount any view contrary to theirs by saying the study was flawed or someone has misinterpreted the data. I’d just like to provide them with the opportunity to read the originals.

Thanks.

 

[elzbeth99]

SarahSmile:

There is this speaker that is awesome! Christopeher West talks on theology of the body… he is excellent, i have seen him speak a few times now and also have been in a personal audiance with him…

His Book is Awesome Good News about Sex and Marriage

 

[I_Fly_Me]

I firmly believe that we not only need homilies on the evils of contraception but that personal evangelization of our fellow Christians (not just Catholics) is absolutely crucial. I have recently found good success using the argument that the success of the ‘homosexual-marriage’ movement is a direct consequence of Christians contracepting. It works well. It has a good ‘hook’ in that the premise, once stated, is hard to ignore. The supporting evidence is hard to argue against. It is also relevant for non-Catholics as well as Catholics.

The premise is that Christians basically brought the ‘homosexual-marriage’ issue on themselves. Once you accept contraception and the divorce of the sexual act from its true purpose and meaning, you have given de facto acquiescence to ANY use of the sexual act as long as it is a ‘private matter between consenting adults.’ Once you have given up this plank in your platform you are finished … you have no retort to the assertion that sex is primarily for pleasure and therefore no basis for asserting that a same-sex sexual relationship is not an acceptable relationship variant. You have the ‘pointing out the splinter in your neighbor’s eye … ignoring the log in your own’ fault in your argument as long as you are contracepting.

The general acceptance of contraception is the root-cause of many sexual evils taking hold and gaining general acceptance in our world (adultery, divorce, masturbation, pornography, promiscuity, homosexuality) and there are many more on the threshold of acceptance (polygamy, prostitution, bestiality, pedophilia, etc.). As long as Christians keep trying to defeat the effects while trying to keep the cause, they are not going to win. The hydra will continue sprouting heads until we finally see the whole creature for what it is and stab it in its heart.

St. Michael, the Archangel, defend us in battle …

God bless,

 

[Detroit_Sue]

I agree that it is a very small percentage of couples who practice NFP vs. contraception. Even NFP is not meant to be “birth control.” As Catholics, we all must be open to life. If a newlywed couple is not ready for a baby, they are not ready for marriage. NFP should only be practiced in serious situations.

 

[SarahSmile]

Detroit Sue:

I agree that it is a very small percentage of couples who practice NFP vs. contraception. Even NFP is not meant to be “birth control.” As Catholics, we all must be open to life. If a newlywed couple is not ready for a baby, they are not ready for marriage. NFP should only be practiced in serious situations.

**I totally agree with you Sue! **

I can’t understand why NFP is taught in Pre Cana. Then engaged couples go into the marriage with the solution, if they aren’t for kids then they can use NFP b/c it is inaccordance with the Church.