Contraception and Catholic couples

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Detroit Sue:
As Catholics, we all must be open to life. If a newlywed couple is not ready for a baby, they are not ready for marriage. NFP should only be practiced in serious situations.
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I absolutely agree with you. Far too often promoters of NFP make it sound like periodic abstinence is the Catholiic contraceptive. It is implied that people need to sterilize their marriage somehow, and that Catholics need to do it via NFP.

NFP, when used as a means of avoiding pregnancy, is a legitimate means of spacing births if, and only if, the couple has a serious reason to do so.

Pressing all engaged couples to take NFP classes sends the wrong message. It should not be taken for granted that all couples will need to use NFP at some point.

Starting off a marriage by intentionally avoiding pregnancy seems completely backwards. Children are the primary purpose of marriage. It doesn’t seem right to start of a marriage by avoiding having children.

Jason
 
Any help out there for us. My wife and I are open to God’s gifts. When we are asked how many kids we plan on having we say 2. Then we get a funny look, we have four. We say our plan fell short of our ability and God has gifted us with 2 more because his plan is better. Then they ask so are you done now? We say our plan is 2, we still are not completely sure what God’s is.

Our children are 11 1/2, 7 1/2, 3 1/2, and 7 weeks.

Our problem is we follow NFP as best we can. We live in North Central Oregon and struggle to find info, classes, tools on NFP to use it more effectively. Can anyone help us? Once again not to further our plan but to be better followers of His plan. If NFP is part or our stewardship responsibility then we should follow it with better knowledge and understanding.

Thank you in advance for any help you may have.
 
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krby34:
We live in North Central Oregon and struggle to find info, classes, tools on NFP to use it more effectively. Can anyone help us? Thank you in advance for any help you may have.
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Oregon

NFP Centers

Northwest Family Services Phone: (503) 215-6377 Portland, OR 97213
USA
Archdio Portland - Marr and Fam Life Off Phone: (503) 233-8393 Portland, OR 97214
USA
Providence St. Vincent Hospital Natural Family Planning Dept. Phone: (503) 699-6166 NFP Model: CrM/PPVI
Portland, OR 97223
USA
Dio Baker - Chancellor Phone: (541) 388-3991 Bend, OR 97708
USA
Physicians/Medical Professionals

William Toffler MDSpecialty: Family Practice
Phone: (503) 494-5322 NFP Model: CrM/PPVI
Portland, OR 97201
USA
Thomas Pitre MDSpecialty: Urology
Phone: (503) 223-6223 Portland, OR 97210
USA
Dr Mayda Ramos Phone: (503) 982-0403 NFP Model: STM/NWFS
Silverton, OR 97381
USA
Teachers

Patty and Ted Duggan Phone: (503) 430-1128 NFP Model: STM/CCL
Beaverton, OR 97006
USA
Cecelia and Thomas Cook Phone: (503) 643-4625 NFP Model: STM/CCL
Beaverton, OR 97007
USA
Lynn and Donald Philip Phone: (503) 618-0725 NFP Model: STM/CCL
GRESHAM, OR 97080
USA
Deidre and Kevin Doran Phone: (503) 647-0673 NFP Model: STM/CCL
North Plains, OR 97133
USA
Julanne Sandoz CNFPP Phone: (503) 699-6166 NFP Model: CrM/PPVI
Portland, OR 97223
USA
John and Mary Lou Carey Phone: (541) 757-8499 NFP Model: STM/NWFS
Corvallis, OR 97333
USA
Diana and David Bruce Phone: (503) 831-5766 NFP Model: STM/CCL
DALLAS, OR 97338
USA
Tony & Susie Morris Phone: (503) 845-6136 NFP Model: STM/NWFS
Mt Angel, OR 97362
USA
Kami Dehler Phone: (541) 994-6134 NFP Model: STM/NWFS
Lincoln City, OR 97367
USA
Dr Mayda Ramos Phone: (503) 982-0403 NFP Model: STM/NWFS
Silverton, OR 97381
USA
Hildy and Randy Boespflug Phone: (503) 743-4432 NFP Model: STM/CCL
Turner, OR 97392
USA
Leslie and Wayne Hanson Phone: (541) 935-6315 NFP Model: STM/CCL
Elmira, OR 97437
USA
Barbara and Francis Maiss Phone: (541) 883-8992 NFP Model: STM/CCL
KLAMATH FALLS, OR 97601
USA
Kathryn and Ronald Grisaffi Phone: (541) 382-2462 NFP Model: STM/CCL
BEND, OR 97702
USA
Maria and Isidro Mejia Phone: (541) 564-6153 NFP Model: STM/CCL
HERMISTON, OR 97838
USA
Margaret and Robert Rolen III Phone: (541) 567-3805 NFP Model: STM/CCL
HERMISTON, OR 97838
USA
 
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AmoAmasAmat:
1.) how do you provide an effective witness to intimidating older/wiser sorts? Is it best to just be an example to them and pray for them, or is this a cop-out?

2.) Am I sinning when I am not forceful enough in my condemnation of her position to her?

My questions are specific to me and my sister-in-law’s situation, but I also run in to similar situations (feeling almost like I have to joke about it) when talking to friends too. Am I just weak or what?? Any suggestions?
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One easy and non confrontational way would be to give her a copy of the “Contraception, Why Not?” CD or tape with an offer to discuss it when she’s done listening too it.

Your not weak on your condemnation of her, just a loving Catholic!
 
Hi - my husband & I have been married almost 20 years, have 3 boys ages 16, 13 and 9; praise be to God, I had a tubal ligation REVERSAL last fall and we are now open to life in our marriage! My husband is not (yet) a believer; says NO MORE KIDS and insists on very conservative NFP…but God has worked on his heart so far (in amazingly allowing the reversal surgery!) so I am just waiting patiently “in joyful hope” to see what is next.

I can tell you that my husband is becoming head-over-heels in love with me, like a kid with a crush, it is amazing…what an infusion of love into our marriage! And to think, it all started several years ago when I remember praying to the Lord for a better sex life in our marriage & to be more attracted to my husband…so God in His amazing ways, opened my eyes to the wonders of Humanae Vitae & all the Church’s teachings, and started me on the journey to desiring the reversal and being open to life. I prayed for over 2 years for a change of heart in my husband, which finally happened last fall (God provided the money for the surgery as well!)

I recommend folks read the One More Soul’s website and book on Sterilization Reversal: A Generous Act of Love, and check out the reversal discussion group archives, too. The Church’s teachings on love, marriage, and sexuality…although challenging and totally against the world’s ways…are a joy, not a burden…and like someone else said, we have to take it on faith & ask the Lord for understanding & wisdom & guidance.

Please say a prayer for our family’s continued journey & for my husband’s conversion & openness to life! God bless!
 
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CNote:
Does anyone know what the sources are for Contraception: Why Not in regards to the medical studies? I’d like to be bale to point people to the actual studies. Sometimes, people discount any view contrary to theirs by saying the study was flawed or someone has misinterpreted the data. I’d just like to provide them with the opportunity to read the originals.

Thanks.
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You can download the powerpoint slides to her presentation and/or purchase the transcript for “Contraception, Why Not” from the www.omsoul.com website.
 
There are many, many people who have good reason to postpone or totally avoid pregnancy. An example: I have a good friend who has a medical condition that makes it difficult for her to walk. She married in her late 20’s. She conceived AMA and ended up having a miscarriage at 6 months. She almost died in the process. Her life depends on NFP, literally.

In her married life, she has fostered scores of troubled teens. She is a brave mother who is changing lives in deep and significant ways.

And yes, she and her husband were very ready for marriage.

There are other, more commonplace examples – how about women who are on certain medications for mental illness? I know a woman whose doctor has advised her against getting pregnant b/c of her medication. She cannot live w/o the medication, at least, not yet. A pregnancy for her would have to be planned and carefully monitored. Should this sweet, wonderful woman of God not be eligible for marriage?

Furthermore, any good thing can be abused, NFP included. That does not make NFP problematic.

From personal experience, I can say that NFP helped me conquer infertility. If I did not have a careful record of my fertility, my doctor would have had more trouble dx’ing and treating me. I tried to have a honeymoon baby. Thank God for NFP – it took many charting cycles and letdowns to help us figure out what was wrong and correct it.

If marriage is truly about sacramental graces that are salvific, then women who choose to get married while, for example, in grad school, an who choose to delay a pregnancy until school is finished are making an appropriate choice. (I would imagine that I will see replies saying that finishing school is not a serious reason to delay pregnancy – as a mother of two who is in grad school, I offer my opinion that it is a serious reason.)

The purpose of my post is to point out that there are always exceptions to the rule.

SarahSmile said:
**I totally agree with you Sue! **

I can’t understand why NFP is taught in Pre Cana. Then engaged couples go into the marriage with the solution, if they aren’t for kids then they can use NFP b/c it is inaccordance with the Church.
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I’d go with less than 10%.

While I am blessed to have found Catholic friends who are following the teachings of the church, I’m amazed at the number of people we know who say they are Catholic, have been married in the Catholic Church, etc., but chose to use ABCs or permanent sterilization.

This is a quote from an acquantance who recently attended an NFP seminar at an Engaged-Encounter:
“The couple teaching NFP had like 10 kids. How am I supposed to take them seriously about NFP. Obviously, it’s not an effective form of birth control.”
Obviously, they missed the point (or the point was not made) that NFP is not contraception. Sigh…:confused:

I have to say, it took my husband and me a LONG time to accept HV. We have three beautiful children, PTL and are hoping HE will bless us more. :bowdown2:
Cathie - Homeschooling Mom to DS (6) DD (4) DD (1)
 
This is my first time in one of the Cathoic Forums, and I chose this topic because I guessed it is one where there is the most difficulty for Catholics to talk about it, when they are on the ‘wrong side’ of the question.nI’m down 2 lines for some reason I cannot explain! I am impressed by those who are writing in to talk, and I am glad they are hearing that tape. It is very convincing. Do you hear from those who would like to agree, but find that their ‘better half’ does not agree, and does not agree? It must be difficult to find an openness to consider NFP, if there has been no contact with a teaching couple. I know one of the US Bishops have expressed the wish for every Parish to have one. Has the Forum been a place in which this personal situation has been disclosed, and helpful discussion followed?
 
For those of you who enjoyed *Contraception: Why Not?, *you might also like Janet Smith’s tape set, Humanae Vitae: Making Happier, Healthier Families…

This four tape series, done in 1999, covers the same material as “Contraception: Why Not,” in greater depth with more recent information. The presentations are from a workshop for priests and are highly absorbing and informative.

Tape #1) Veritatis Splendor & Humanae Vitae

Tape #2) The Consequences of Contraception

Tape #3) Differences Between Contraception and NFP

Tape #4) Veritatis Splendor

This tape set is available from One More Soul at www.omsoul.com.

God bless!

Cindy
 
I read alot about NFP and saw how reliable it is, after 5 children I want to learn more. When asking my doctor about it she said it is the most inaccurate and least effective way to control how many children you have. Having more is not an issue for me but my husband is 11 years my senior and really wants us to be careful. It’s disheartening when doctors lie because they want to sell more contraceptives. I believe they are the ones that are totally misinformed.
 
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Proud2bRC:
During my years teaching NFP, I have heard various numbers regarding the percentage of Catholic couples of child-bearing age who contracept or have been sterilized.

Based on your personal observations, what percentage of Catholics are obedient to Humanae Vitae and avoid artificial birth control and/or sterilization.

My personal observation has been that 75 to 85% of Catholic couples of child-bearing age contracept or have been sterilized, but that this number is slowly decreasing, with more younger couples embracing the Church’s teachings in this regard.
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When my wife and I went through Pre-Cana, we disregarded NFP and used (and still use) artificial birth control. :cool:
 
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Ric:
When my wife and I went through Pre-Cana, we disregarded NFP and used (and still use) artificial birth control. :cool:
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Hi Ric,

Are you aware that prior to 1930, all Christian churches taught that contraception was intrinsically evil and gravely sinful? Do you know that some contraceptives, such as the IUD, Norplant, Depo-Provera, and the Pill, are also potential abortifacients?

There are many excellent resources on the topic, but one interesting book from the Protestant perspective is, The Bible and Birth Control by Charles D. Provan. I’d be happy to send you a copy if you’d like.

God bless!

Cindy
 
I think the percentage of Catholics who even understand the teaching of the Church is pretty low. You know it is funny - my parent’s were very faithful Catholics and taught us the right way. But I was kind of the prodigal daughter - I know I hurt my parent’s very badly when I got pregnant at the age of 19 before I was married. My husband, who was not Catholic, and I did not agree on any kind of contraception and I ended up having 4 children in 4 1/2 years (Thank you, God, they have always been such gifts!) but my husband finally said, “No more or I will divorce you!” I ended up getting my tubes tied (a huge sorrow and regret eventually for both of us). I finally confessed it and the priest was very kind and urged me to be sure to raise the four children I had as good Catholics. I love being a mom and would have been happy with a ton of kids. There were times we really wanted to reverse it but we didn’t have any money at all. Now I have had a hysterectomy due to health problems and only now do I feel at peace about it - there is no longer any way to rectify the situation and I know God has forgiven me. My husband finally became Catholic and in Christmas 2002, we were blessed with a wonderful addition to our family - a devout Catholic son-in-law - okay, not a baby, but another son anyway. We are proud to say that our daughter and her husband who are both in college practice natural family planning and while they are trying to wait until our daughter finishes her senior year in college, will welcome a child when they are so blessed. I am so looking forward to those grandbabies. Sad to say, my daughter and her husband are a rarity in this day and time. They do not know anyone else like them and it is sad that our married couples do not have more support in living their sacrament of marriage.
 
I think we should study the book: Sex and the Sacred City by Steven Kellmeyer then continue this discusion.
 
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Cindy:
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Ric:
When my wife and I went through Pre-Cana, we disregarded NFP and used (and still use) artificial birth control. :cool:
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Hi Ric,

Are you aware that prior to 1930, all Christian churches taught that contraception was intrinsically evil and gravely sinful? Do you know that some contraceptives, such as the IUD, Norplant, Depo-Provera, and the Pill, are also potential abortifacients?

There are many excellent resources on the topic, but one interesting book from the Protestant perspective is, The Bible and Birth Control by Charles D. Provan. I’d be happy to send you a copy if you’d like.

God bless!

Cindy
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What does this haft to do about Pre-Cana (that we had to go through) and the teachings of the Roman Catholic church?
 
I think more people are faithful than we know. All of our friends use NFP. In a casual conversation with other women at church that I don’t know very well, I was surprised by how many of them used NFP.

Then there is the flip side in knowing that only one of our relatives does. 😦

To the person that asked about those that don’t use NFP and just allow children to come…that’s us. However, I won’t say that we would never use NFP, we just haven’t had serious enough reasons too.
 
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Ric:
What does this haft to do about Pre-Cana (that we had to go through) and the teachings of the Roman Catholic church?
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Ric,

I just assumed that you knew that the Catholic Church teaches that contraception is intrinsically evil and gravely sinful. I was just wondering if you knew that all Christian churches formerly held the same position. Before 1930, all Christians – Protestant, Orthodox, and Catholic – condemned the use of contraception. It was the Anglican Church, at its Lambeth Conference, that first approved the use of birth control. Since that time, all Protestant and Orthodox churches have followed suit, departing from 1900 years of universal Christian belief. The Catholic Church alone has remained faithful and has stood firm on all moral issues for 2,000 years.

Since you and your wife use contraception, I just wondered if you were aware that some contraceptives have the potential to cause abortions. The Pill, for example, does not always prevent conception, but sometimes causes an early chemical abortion after a new life has already been conceived. Although its primary function is to inhibit ovulation, the birth control pill sometimes allows breakthrough ovulation and conception to occur, meaning that a woman can still become pregnant even when she’s on the Pill. When this happens, the Pill works in a secondary way: by causing changes to the lining of the uterus that prevent the implantation of the new human life. Unfortunately, most people remain unaware of this.

God bless!

Cindy
 
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Cindy:
Ric,

I just assumed that you knew that the Catholic Church teaches that contraception is intrinsically evil and gravely sinful. I was just wondering if you knew that all Christian churches formerly held the same position. Before 1930, all Christians – Protestant, Orthodox, and Catholic – condemned the use of contraception. It was the Anglican Church, at its Lambeth Conference, that first approved the use of birth control. Since that time, all Protestant and Orthodox churches have followed suit, departing from 1900 years of universal Christian belief. The Catholic Church alone has remained faithful and has stood firm on all moral issues for 2,000 years.
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I know the issue well, but contraception is not “evil” if it is not the “Pill”. The “Pill” as you know is an abortion by meds. We do not believe in using the “Pill”.
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Cindy:
Since you and your wife use contraception, I just wondered if you were aware that some contraceptives have the potential to cause abortions. The Pill, for example, does not always prevent conception, but sometimes causes an early chemical abortion after a new life has already been conceived. Although its primary function is to inhibit ovulation, the birth control pill sometimes allows breakthrough ovulation and conception to occur, meaning that a woman can still become pregnant even when she’s on the Pill. When this happens, the Pill works in a secondary way: by causing changes to the lining of the uterus that prevent the implantation of the new human life. Unfortunately, most people remain unaware of this.

God bless!

Cindy
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Oh, I just explaind that above. 🙂
 
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